2 Samuel 11:1

And it happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. (2 Samuel 11:1)

When a man after God's own heart falls, it warns us that success—not just suffering—is our greatest test.

A Shepherd Boy Who Became King

This morning we're looking at one of the hardest stories to read in all the Bible. Scripture exudes wisdom and practicality—basic instructions before leaving earth, it is said—and in that practicality it can be hard to wrestle with, especially when we come across a man called a man after God's own heart.

Consider David's journey. A shepherd boy who grew up in the hills singing songs to God, anointed king at a very early age, yet patient enough to wait for God to install him. A young man filled with the love of God, called to face Goliath, and made everybody's hero overnight. Then a man hunted and abused, living off the land in caves for years, all the while wondering, When am I going to be king?

Now Saul is dead, Jonathan is dead, and David has been installed as king. Men and women struggle with many different things, but the single thing I have seen us all struggle with is success—when we have finally attained, when we have arrived. Walk past the magazine rack and look at the people who haven't handled success well. The greatest challenge you and I will ever face is when we are successful.

In the Wrong Place

David is suffering from something I'd call affluenza. When the story starts, he appears bored, sitting in the palace—but there's much more to it. The battle didn't start the moment he saw Bathsheba; like a man busted with Cheeto dust on his face, the real battle began long before, in years of small compromises.

David is in a place of disobedience—and not from a legalistic standpoint, but from a relationship standpoint. Obeying God's law shouldn't come merely from reading the rules; in a relationship with Jesus, who covered our trespasses, obedience flows out of that relationship.

So our first question to ask ourselves is: Am I in a place of obedience? I'm urging you to ask these questions because we make bad decisions. My son has been a firefighter for five weeks and has already learned that people make really bad decisions. David is about to make a choice that will put himself out of step with God.

It says David remained in Jerusalem, and I think for a couple of reasons. He was spiritually in the wrong place. Deuteronomy 17:17 says the kings of Israel should not multiply wives, lest his heart be drawn away. David already had seven wives—some from alliances made by not trusting God, some from women he simply found attractive. He was already out of touch.

A Warrior King Who Stayed Home

He was also physically in the wrong place. He was supposed to be at war, because that was God's call on his life. David was a special kind of king—a warrior king, a Philistine-killing machine, a soldier. His very first act of notoriety was slaying Goliath. God had installed him for a special purpose, and he was disobedient to where God would have him.

There's a practical side to this. Parents who send a child to war want confidence that the leaders know what war is about. David had killed thousands of men with his bare hands. Combat then was up close, personal, bloody. He had had friends die in his arms. A man with that perspective thinks twice before starting a war over something silly. Parents trusted David. They trusted that he knew God, and that God inspired and directed his battles. Look at the scoreboard—the casualties of Israel compared to all the "-ites" weren't even close. God protected His people, sent David to war with His blessing, and David ignored it.

Why Obedience Matters

So why do we need to be obedient? What's it matter? Hebrews 10:26 reminds us that there is no longer a sacrifice for sins if we go on sinning willfully. When you and I are out of step, in direct disobedience, our view of God gets distorted. Like a child dreading "wait till your father gets home," we put a whooping-mentality onto God. We expect only His discipline; we don't see His grace, His mercy, His care, His perfect parenting, because guilt clouds who we are. The world outside the church has a warped view of God—and we, as His representatives, sometimes contribute to that.

Disobedience also impairs our judgment. I don't perform weddings for couples living together and sexually engaged outside of marriage, not to punish them, but because they're under the influence. You can't make one of the most important decisions of your life when your mind and heart are clouded. James 4:7–8 gives a step-by-step plan: submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee, draw near to God and He will draw near to you. We take the first step.

Disobedience can also make us misread the Lord. My youngest son once held little Gracie underwater—"I was baptizing her," he said. She lived, but do I reward that? No. Like that, we can mistake God's grace and His slowness to judge for His approval. God can't bless us in disobedience, because it would send the wrong signal.

The Confidence of Obedience

But there's an opposite. When you've spent time alone with God, walked through hard things with Him, and been truly obedient, there's a sweetness to it—honey for your soul. One benefit is confidence. You're okay with God. Though ten thousand fall at your side, the Lord is there. People walking with God witness boldly, treat others well, and are unafraid to hang it out there for Jesus.

My son Ethan went "squirrel fishing"—a marshmallow on a fishing line, a tug of war with the squirrels, hours of harmless fun. Then one day I found a heavy trolling rod set up in our gazebo, line strung across the driveway to a pile of dog food with a big hook in it. "Coyote fishing," he said. "I'll wait, set the hook, and when he gets to me—that machete you gave me for my fifth birthday." Where did he get such confidence? One victory built on another.

David's confidence to be king and to slay Goliath came from earlier obedience. As a boy he slew the bear and the lion in God's name, caring for the sheep. He already knew victory and what it was to walk in confidence and confront a man blaspheming God. That's what makes this story so scary. 1 Samuel 15:22 says, "To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams." Obedience is itself a sacrifice, and God takes pleasure in it.

Am I Seeking Wise Counsel?

The second question: Am I seeking and heeding wise counsel? In 2 Samuel 11:3, David inquired about the woman, and someone said, Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? Then David sent messengers and took her, and lay with her, and she returned to her house. With that, David changed the face of a nation, his family, and his destiny.

A servant tried to throw the boss a hint—that's Uriah's wife, one of your generals, and he's off to war. David already knew it, yet did it anyway: I'm king. Don't tell me what to do. He didn't even hear it. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."

It's important to have counselors around us. As part of my job I handle finances, but I'm not an investment guy, so I go to friends who really know—not the man who only talks about money, but the one who actually has it. Find an expert in what you need. On child-raising, I took my parents' wisdom and Scripture, but I also went to a man whose sons grew up godly and earned appointments to West Point, and asked him questions. Don't take marriage advice from someone with a lousy marriage.

And here's a funny one: sometimes I ask advice from people who raised the worst kids on the planet—it tells me what to avoid. If you're really serious about a big decision and bringing God into it, don't only ask the friends who already agree with you. Go find people who are critical of you, who don't always agree, because there may be truth in their criticism that comes to fruition later. I have a lawyer, a financial guy, and a plumber buddy, Pete, with whom I disagree on almost everything—I need to know what the other side is thinking.

Am I in Agreement with God's Word?

The third question: Am I in agreement with God's word? David took her and lay with her—and the alarm is already going off. Exodus 20:14, "You shall not commit adultery." Exodus 20:17, "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife." We don't need a concordance for that. David didn't need it explained; he should already have known. Yet you and I can do the same on any given day.

A decision should never be in opposition to God's word—never. A life lived according to God's word isn't perfect, but it illuminates the potholes and keeps us from being our own worst enemy. Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." God meant that. It keeps you from unhealthy, unproductive places. And what's striking? David wrote much of the Psalms. David wrote Bible. Ouch.

The Cover-Up

Here's an overview of verses 6 through 26. The deed is done; David learns Bathsheba is pregnant. Now he's got to cover it up—no Channel 10 News, no Fox News. So he calls Uriah home, hoping he'll sleep with his wife and assume the child is his. But Uriah won't go home. He stays at the palace two nights, even after David tries to get him drunk.

This part isn't in the Bible, so don't take it as gospel, but I suspect servants talk—and Uriah likely knew the king had been with his wife. When confronted, Uriah says the troops and the Ark of the Covenant are out in the field—where you're supposed to be. That one sentence is a dagger to the man after God's own heart.

So David hatches a plan: he orders Joab to send Uriah to the hottest part of the battle and pull back so he'll die. Uriah is murdered by executive order. David marries Bathsheba, and everything looks covered. But when God loves us, He doesn't let us get away with it. If you're running in long-term sin and getting away with it, I'd worry—because whom God loves, He chastises.

Nathan and the Question of Compassion

In 2 Samuel 12, the Lord sends Nathan—an upstanding man who goes straight to one of the most powerful men in the world, not to gossip or write a blog, but face to face. He tells the parable of the rich man with many flocks who took the poor man's one beloved ewe lamb to feed a traveler.

So David's anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, "As the Lord lives, the man who has done this shall surely die! And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity." (2 Samuel 12:5–6)

The word for compassion is the Hebrew hamal—gentleness, long-suffering, but with action. It's the attitude of bringing in a starving child to feed him, or the Good Samaritan saying, I want to take care of you. It's not weepy emotion; it's a heart that helps. And notice how harsh we are about sin when it's someone else's. Nathan turns and says, "You are the man," and the man after God's own heart is crushed.

The fourth question: Am I being compassionate? David had no compassion for Bathsheba, for Uriah, for the servants forced to witness this, for Joab, or for Israel. Compassion cannot coexist with selfishness, greed, and self-centeredness—they don't share the same building. It's no respecter of rank or class; anyone can be compassionate.

One of the greatest joys for a pastor is hearing that someone in the congregation went out and showed compassion—with no expectation of thanks or gain—just to serve and represent Jesus. Matthew 9:36 says, "When He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd." Obedience took Jesus to the cross, but it was compassion—God's heart of compassion for you and me—that held Him there.

Am I Displaying Thankfulness?

The fifth question: Am I displaying thankfulness? In 2 Samuel 12:8 God says, I gave you your master's house and your master's wives... and if that had been too little, I would have given you much more. David wasn't about thankfulness in that moment; he was about what he wanted.

Thankfulness gives perspective. It reminds us how far God has taken us. Be honest—when a child is thankful, you're in a bigger hurry to bless them. I'd encourage you to find a quiet place at home or work where you can be alone with the Lord and go down the list of things you're thankful for. I get about halfway down and I'm in tears, and we should be.

I once attended a pre-screening of The Passion of the Christ, with Mel Gibson there and rooms full of pastors I deeply respect. When they whipped Jesus on screen—and He hadn't even reached the cross—I looked up and saw these heroes of the faith bawling their eyes out, because they were thankful. Every man left there changed, united by His Holy Spirit in a spirit of thankfulness.

Decisions That Affect Others

The sixth question: Is this decision going to affect other people? In 2 Samuel 12, God pronounces judgment: the sword shall never depart from your house... I will raise up adversity against you from your own house... For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel. David confesses, "I have sinned against the Lord." Nathan says the Lord has put away his sin and he will not die, but because of the deed he has given great occasion for the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, and the child will die.

David's bad choice affected many. His family tree is twisted—two chapters over there's the rape of a half-sister and one brother killing another, and it doesn't get better. My decisions as a dad, a husband, and a pastor affect many people, so we must take them captive and take them seriously.

I've had too many counseling meetings with men who have fallen and wives who are basket cases, and with women who have fallen and husbands who are ruined. There is restoration and goodness when God uses it as a starting point, but the shrapnel is real. Pray for your pastors. If I fall, what does it do to my kids, my wife, to you, to a church I've spent twenty years at? Everything I've said becomes null, a bad reflection on God. We never want people to blaspheme the name of God because of something we have done. And that counts for you too.

Am I Committing This to Prayer?

The last question: Am I committing this decision to prayer? Imagine if David had begun this chapter, Dear Lord, I want to take another man's wife, and if I have to kill him to get her, I'm going to—can You bless that? It never would have happened.

What does it mean to commit something to prayer? "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." Fervent prayer doesn't mean praying once; it means praying every day until God gives an answer.

Closing Prayer

Father, it's a sobering word this morning, Lord. If the anointed, a man after God's own heart, can fail, then so can we. Take heed lest we fall, we know, Lord. As we leave and consider these things, may Your word do a work in our hearts. May we have joy if we are walking in obedience, and may we be repentant if we are clearly not where You want us. And may we know we are forgiven. Nobody has to die—You already took care of it on the cross. We only need to repent and walk in righteousness. Lord, bless Your people. In Jesus' name, amen.