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1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Sorrow Not as Those That Have No Hope

July 8, 2007 · Pastor Miles DeBenedictis

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Preaching in the wake of the death of Joyce, a beloved member, Pastor Miles turns from his scheduled passage to 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 to answer whether believers may grieve. He teaches that Christians do sorrow, but not as those without hope, because the resurrection of Christ guarantees that death is a passage into the Lord's presence and a new thing God is doing.

  • It is right to sorrow at death, but believers grieve differently because they have hope grounded in Christ's resurrection.
  • Biblical hope is not wishful thinking but "absolute certainty of coming good," resting on faith—"if we believe."
  • Our flesh naturally hates and resists death, yet to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.
  • Scripture and the Holy Spirit (the Comforter) bring comfort and understanding that the world lacks, which is why the believer's joy in sorrow looks strange to others.
  • Old Testament saints like Abraham and David believed in a coming resurrection; Jesus brings life and immortality fully to light in the gospel.
  • Suffering and pruning can be the context in which God does a new thing, giving beauty for ashes and joy for mourning so He is glorified.

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But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him... For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. —

When death comes to our doorstep, Scripture does not forbid our tears—it forbids our hopelessness.

Is It All Right to Sorrow?

In light of what has happened this week, and the announcement this morning that Joyce has gone to be with the Lord, I spent Thursday and Friday in asking the Lord what He wanted me to say. By Friday afternoon I still had nothing, and sensed He had something else for us. So open your Bibles to .

It is never an easy thing when a family member or friend goes to be with the Lord, whether sudden or prolonged. I've talked with people who lost someone suddenly and say that's easier, and others who lost someone slowly and say that's easier because there's more time for closure. The truth is, death is never easy or painless. As a church we've experienced both this year—Pastor Richard's son going suddenly earlier in the year, and now Joyce this last week.

So the question comes: is it all right to sorrow? I think a resounding yes needs to be given. Paul writes, "I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep"—a gentle way of saying, concerning those who have died—"that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope."

Hope the World Does Not Have

The implication of this verse is that there are those in the world who have no hope. Especially in the context of a loved one dying, that is a miserable place to be—someone goes, and you have no hope of where they may be.

The hope of the world is different from the hope described in Scripture. If you go down to the street fair with Josh and the guys and ask people, "If you died tonight, would you go to heaven?" many say, "Well, I hope so." But that is blind, wishful thinking. The Wycliffe Bible Commentary defines the biblical term hope as "absolute certainty of coming good." We as believers have an absolute certainty of coming good.

Notice the basis of this hope in verse 14: "For if we believe." Underline that. Without faith there is no hope. If we believe that Jesus died and rose again—what are we believing in? The resurrection, the hinge pin of our faith. In the light of Christ's resurrection, we can know with certainty that He will also raise us to newness of life. That is why verse 18 says, "Wherefore comfort one another with these words." The Word of God brings this hope to light.

The Comforter Within

The word "comfort" in verse 18 is the Greek parakaleo. Its root appears in parakletos in , where Jesus says, "I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive." We have the comfort of the Scriptures and the comfort of the Spirit poured out upon us.

Why do we need such a Helper? Because, as Jesus says at the end of , "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." That word "trouble" means to be restless, tossed to and fro, shaken to the core. It is not stepping on a Lego in the morning; it is being shaken to the core. Every one of us, believer or unbeliever, will experience this trouble in this life.

Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled

That same word appears in : "Let not your heart be troubled." How can I possibly keep that command in a world full of trouble? We have to see the context. In , Jesus had told His disciples, "Yet a little while I am with you... whither I go, ye cannot come." These men had followed Him everywhere for three years, and now He says He is going where they cannot follow. Peter protested, "Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay down my life for thy sake." They were troubled.

So Jesus says, "Let not your heart be troubled." On what basis? Read on: "ye believe in God, believe also in me." Pause there. If it stopped at "believe in God," you might have cause for trouble—even the demons believe in God, and tremble. To believe in God without the Lord Jesus Christ is a problem. "Believe also in me," Jesus says.

Why? "In my Father's house are many mansions... I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself." This is the great promise of eternal life—a city whose builder and maker is God. And when Thomas said, "Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." Put your faith in Christ, and everything changes.

Why Our Flesh Clings to This World

This life is not all there is. That understanding is so foundational to our faith, yet we get distracted and focused on this life. Why? Because we have this earthly tent, and this body exists only here. For the flesh, this is all there is.

Our flesh is strong. Its desire to live is impressive. Some of you have sat beside a dying family member and seen in their last breaths how the body fights to hold on. This flesh hates death. In the Garden, God told Adam, "In the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." I do not believe it was God's intention that man would die, but when Adam sinned he immediately died spiritually—notice God's first words were, "Adam, where art thou?" A separation had taken place, and physical death began at that moment.

That is why many people, in and out of the church, won't go to funerals. The flesh does not like death, though it is an inescapable reality. Billions are spent every year trying to cheat death—some even paying to have their bodies cryogenically frozen. Why? They love this world. We experience this same resistance daily as Christians, for we are called to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and die to self. Paul said, "I die daily." None of us find that easy, because our flesh hates to die.

Absent From the Body, Present With the Lord

For the believer, we have this hope: this world is not all there is. As says, "to be absent from the body... to be present with the Lord." Physical death is the separation of your soul from this tent, and to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord. Peter tells us that when we see Him, we shall be like Him. A transformation takes place. Joyce experienced that this week—she is with the Lord in glory, where there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.

was an encouragement to believers in Thessalonica who worried their loved ones had missed the day of the Lord. Paul assured them they had not—in fact, they have preceded us. "We shall not all sleep, but we shall be changed," says , "in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye... this corruptible shall put on incorruption, and this mortal shall put on immortality." And so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Joy That Looks Strange to the World

This hope brings joy in the midst of sorrow—a joy grounded on the sure promise of God. And this comfort comes as we study the Scriptures, because tells us Jesus brings "life and immortality to light through the gospel." Before Jesus came, man had no clear understanding of the afterlife.

We see this in . The prophet told King Hezekiah his sickness was unto death, and Hezekiah turned to the wall, wept, and begged for more life. God gave him fifteen more years. Yet in his following song of praise, Hezekiah expresses the darkness that surrounded death—even believing in a resurrection, he did not fully understand it. Jesus brings that mystery to light, so that now we have hope, comfort, and joy, even in sorrow. The world looks at that and says, "You're nuts." It looks strange to those who have no hope.

David and the Death of His Child

We see this clearly in . David's child by Bathsheba became sick unto death. David fasted, lay all night upon the earth, and sought God. For the last three and a half years many in this church fasted and prayed that God would heal Joyce. In the same way, David's child died, and his servants were afraid to tell him—"while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken... how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?"

But when David perceived the child was dead, he arose, washed, anointed himself, changed his clothes, went to the house of the Lord and worshiped, then ate. His servants were baffled: "What thing is this that thou hast done?" David answered, "While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept... But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." David had faith in the resurrection, and it changed his whole attitude.

When the unbeliever sees joy in a believer's sorrow, it gives us an opportunity to share the testimony of the hope we have in Christ. It looks strange, but it is more real than death itself. "O death, where is thy sting?" For the believer, death is truly a passing from this life to that.

The Earnest Expectation of the Spirit

says, "Ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father... and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ." And then this beautiful verse: "I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

I think of Mike Callahan, for years a faithful usher and a fixture at the high schools in town, sharing the Lord. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor the size of a bar of soap and given four to six months. He lived seven years, saying, "I'm living on borrowed time." He reminded me often of that verse—the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to be revealed. He would tell complete strangers about his tumor within thirty seconds, pull out the MRIs, and use it as an opportunity to show people the Lord and the resurrection.

goes on: "the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God." In our spirit we groan for the day we are with the Lord. Joyce's flesh didn't want to go, but her spirit was ready. In heaven none of us will stand around recounting how hard it was down here; I believe based on Scripture that it will all be wiped clean. Yet shows the man in torment in hell retained full memory of his earthly life—how tormenting that would be.

I Am the Resurrection and the Life

In , Lazarus died in Bethany, and nearly the whole town wept. When Jesus came, four days later, He was "troubled in spirit"—the same word from . "Jesus wept," the shortest verse in the Bible. But not because Lazarus had died—He knew He would raise him. He wept over the unbelief of the people, who mourned with no anticipation of resurrection.

Martha came and said, "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Some may even think that of Joyce. Yet the Lord was and still is at work. Jesus said, "Thy brother shall rise again." Martha replied, "I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Then Jesus said, "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live." And He asked the question that must be asked of everyone: "Believest thou this?"

Without this faith you will not have hope, and without hope you will not have comfort and joy in sorrow. Some of you here this morning do not have this hope, and the reason is that you do not have this faith. But you can, and it is my prayer that you would.

Faith in the Resurrection, Then and Now

Before Christ came, the resurrection was a dimly lit thing, though Old Testament saints believed in it. Abraham, the father of faith—why did he go to offer Isaac? tells us he counted God able to raise Isaac from the dead. He believed in the resurrection. David, as we saw, believed in it too. Though they did not fully understand the mystery, they trusted the coming resurrection.

We are saved by faith just as Abraham was: "Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness." He counted God able to raise the deadness of Sarah's womb. They had faith in a resurrection yet to come; we have faith in the resurrection that has come in Jesus Christ. He reveals the mystery—"Christ in you, the hope of glory." Barring the rapture, our bodies will pass through physical death, our spirit separated from this tent, but it will be sweet liberty to be with the Lord.

He Will Make All Things New

declares, "I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away... And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away... Behold, I make all things new."

This is our hope—eternity with God, in His presence, where things are set right and every tear is wiped away. In light of this we have joy in suffering. says, "whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope." That word patience can be rendered long-suffering, because in this world the times of suffering can seem long.

A New Thing in the Midst of Pruning

This church has gone through ups and downs, many of them over the last eight or nine years. Those of you here when Pastor Tony had his mountain bike accident know how dramatically it changed his life, his family, and this church. At that time there was a confirmation among many that our church would go through a season of pruning, dryness, and difficulty. This year has been heavy—the death of Pastor Richard's son and now Joyce's death.

But there has been another confirmation lately, echoing and : "Remember ye not the former things... Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth... I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." Don't misunderstand—I am not saying Joyce was holding God back. But God uses suffering to prune a church so it will be more fruitful. Even Jesus spoke of the grain of wheat that falls into the ground and dies, bringing forth new life.

The ministry of the Messiah is outlined in , which Jesus read in Luke 4: "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me... to comfort all that mourn... to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness... that he might be glorified." God can give beauty from ashes, joy for mourning, and all of it so that He is glorified. When people see our joy, it is a testimony to those who have no hope.

My mom told me years ago that at her funeral she wants everyone in bright clothing, singing, "When I die, don't cry for me, in my Father's house I'll be"—because she won't be there.

Sow in Tears, Reap in Joy

says, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." There has been difficult planting here over the years—sometimes it felt like plowing gravel. But says, "let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." The harvest comes through sowing in tears.

It is not right to tell people that coming to Jesus means immediate happiness, a bed of roses, a highway to holiness. Jesus promised trial, tribulation, and suffering—but also, "be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." And this ain't it. This is not all there is. We will meet the same sufferings as the world, but in the midst of suffering we have hope.

Will Believest Thou This?

My prayer this morning is that your eyes have been opened to the hope Scripture gives, that you can connect the dots, because we are not going to be here eternally. "If we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him." David said the child could not come back, but he would go to be with him. Joyce will not come back—she'd probably be upset if we tried to bring her back—but we will see her again, and we will see the Lord, gathered together in His presence. That is our joy.

Paul asks in , "What is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Are not even ye in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at his coming? For ye are our glory and joy." Our hope is to stand in the presence of the Lord at His coming—Christ in you, the hope of glory. Not wishful thinking, but absolute certainty, absolute expectation of coming good. If that wishful kind of hope is your only place today, you'd better high-tail it up here when the pastors and elders come forward, because that is no kind of hope to stand on. The hope of Scripture is absolute certainty. Amen.

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