Through the Bible - Song of Solomon

The song of songs, which is Solomon's. (Song of Solomon 1:1)

A book many wonder why is even in the Bible turns out to be God's own instruction on love, marriage, and the longing of Christ for His bride.

A Book Many Wonder About

We are going through every book of the Bible on Saturday nights, taking one book a week. Sometimes we come to a book where, the first time you read it, you think, "Boy, I don't know about this one." Many of you read Song of Solomon this past week, and some of you have probably wondered, Why is this in the Bible? I can understand the question.

When you study the book and look at the commentaries, outlines, and Bible studies that exist, you find hundreds, probably thousands, of different views. Everybody understands it differently, and there are dozens of ways people try to outline it. Like most of the poetic books, it is difficult to outline because one thought progresses into the next.

Yet everyone agrees it is a beautiful, poetic love story—a powerful passage of Scripture. They differ on the application: why is it in our Bibles? In reality, the reason it found its way into the Bible is the allegorical context: it speaks to us of the love of Christ for His bride, the church. When the early church first compiled the books of Scripture, that was the main reason this book was included. The Talmudic rabbis in ancient Jewish times saw it the same way—God's love for His people—and held it dearly.

The Song of Songs

It really goes by the name the Song of Songs, which Solomon wrote, and there's a reason for that. In 1 Kings 4:32 we read that Solomon spoke 3,000 proverbs and his songs were 1,005. We looked at his Proverbs a couple of weeks ago and at Ecclesiastes last week. When you come to Song of Solomon 1:1, it says, "The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's." Of all 1,005 songs he wrote, this was the best one—in his own estimation, and in the estimation of the people of Israel, who loved it.

In his wisdom, he wrote this poetic song—eight chapters of beautiful, metaphorical poetry. It almost reads like a play. You have Solomon speaking, the Shulamite (his most beloved bride) speaking, and the Daughters of Jerusalem, a kind of choir, speaking out. It's a concert of voices, full of imagery, and a powerful passage.

God's Instruction Manual for Living

The Apostle Paul said in 2 Timothy 3:16 that all Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable. He names four things it is profitable for: doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness. In our layman's terms here in 2008, "instruction in righteousness" means it shows us the right way to live.

Peter agrees. In 2 Peter 1:3 he says that by God's divine power He has given us everything we need for life and godliness—everything we need to live a godly life. If God is the Creator—and that's the very first thing we learn about Him in Genesis 1—then we should hope He would give us an instruction manual on how to use the equipment He has given us.

Think of buying a VCR—we don't have VCRs anymore; I don't know why that popped into my mind—a DVD player. You plug it in, and it seems to make sense, so you just make it work. But when it doesn't work right, you go back to the manual. God created these bodies, and there is a right and a wrong way to use them. Paul tells us God has given us His Word as the manual to instruct us in right living.

God Created Marriage

In Genesis 2:24 God prescribed that a man should leave his father and mother, cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Why? Because there was a problem. Over and over in Genesis 1, God saw what He had made and "it was good." But in Genesis 2:18, God looks at man and says it is not good that man should be alone. So He made a helper comparable to him, and then prescribed this leaving and cleaving, and they were both naked and unashamed as husband and wife.

God is the One who created marriage. The science community may say it's merely a social contract people invented. But if that were so, why does every civilization and culture practice some form of it? The ceremonies differ, but the idea of marriage is everywhere—because God ordained it. It is the thing upon which all community and society is built.

Notice it says a man—not a boy—leaves his father and mother. Parents are to raise him to be a man so he can take a wife and the two become one flesh. The result of that union is procreation, an opportunity where man gets to do something only God has the power to do, because God gave him that power in marriage.

Repression and Expression

Would God give divine instruction on something so important? You would hope so—because when man is left to his own imagination regarding marriage and sexual relations, look around at what happens in the world.

After the first-century church and the apostles died off, a new group of leaders came in, and the enemy began getting his grip into the church. One of the first heresies was dualism—the view that everything spiritual is good but all the physical is evil. When that idea entered the church, men began to look upon sex as wicked, and the church started to repress it: a necessary evil for procreation, but nothing more.

Interestingly, when the Song of Solomon speaks of intimacy within marriage, it says nothing about bearing children. God created it not only for procreation but for a husband and wife to become one flesh. As the Catholic church developed in the third century, it taught that the truly holy would live a monastic, celibate life—and we are seeing in our own day what comes from that.

But the pendulum swings to the other side. Those who reject the church's repression go back into the world and openly express it: "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die." You see hedonism throughout history—not something new from the 1960s. In the Renaissance there was free sex with any partner at any time. At the end of the Renaissance, the Victorian period in England was so staunch and repressive that intimacy was something women merely put up with—and the result was rampant prostitution in London.

When man removes God from the equation, you get either repression—it's wicked, sick, disgusting—or open expression—whoever, whenever, wherever, however. And from there it progresses to man with man, woman with woman, even men with animals, which God calls an abomination. Did God have something to say about this important act He gave to husband and wife? Yes—and it's the book of Song of Solomon.

A Necessary Exhortation to the Single

This book speaks openly and frankly about sex within the context of marriage only, in beautiful, poetic, metaphorical language. It is not pornographic or disgusting. A child under twelve reading it would probably have no clue what is being spoken of—except occasionally the word "breasts" comes up and they might think, "Oh my goodness, I don't want to read this!" But there's an interesting explanation for that verse, too.

The first thing to consider is that this is a necessary exhortation to those who are single. Three times in the book the Shulamite charges the daughters of Jerusalem not to "stir up nor awake love until it pleases"—until the right time (2:7; 3:5; 8:4). Significantly, each charge comes right after a description of intimacy ("His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me"). The message is clear: there is a right time and place for intimacy, and it is in marriage.

I don't know if you saw the news a couple of weeks ago, but the data shows abortions are on the downturn in 2006 and 2007. Both camps claim credit. One side says it's contraceptives and training; the other says that since the push to teach abstinence until marriage, we've seen this decline—a blessing to see.

Sadly, many don't receive this counsel. Seventy percent of college juniors have already had sex outside of marriage. The world looks at the church and says, "You're just a bunch of prudes who want to repress everything." But that is not what Scripture says. When the church embraced dualism and pushed it aside, the world swung the other way to open expression. The Word of God gives the true, right counsel.

Parents, when your children are young and under eighteen, this is the time to teach them: do not stir up love until it pleases. Why? Because if you do, dark days can come. People have made quick decisions that affected the rest of their lives—through pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and even more, through emotional scars. God says, "I want to protect you." When He commands, "Be holy, for I am holy," it is not so you can flaunt how spiritual you are; if you are holy, you will be whole. As Ecclesiastes concludes, "Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man." Many people I and other pastors have counseled went into marriage having not saved themselves, and they didn't feel whole, as if they'd given part of themselves to others.

Important Counsel for Couples

It is also important counsel for couples—and for those courting toward marriage, since the book contains practical principles about not being alone together before marriage if you study it verse by verse. There are hundreds, even hundreds of thousands, of books on intimacy in marriage. Some may help, but it is most important to go to the Word of God first, because God has important things to say.

Here's a brief outline. Chapter 1 through 2:7 is a time of love celebration—the wedding night. Solomon brings her into his banqueting house (2:4); "The king hath brought me into his chambers" (1:4). Some commentators get confused, thinking it starts with the wedding night and then moves to courtship, as though backwards. It isn't—it's a flashback. The wedding night is experienced first, then in 2:8 she flashes back to the courtship.

Notice that as the king and his bride come together, she has a low self-image. In 1:6 she speaks of being dark of complexion—she was a worker in the field, and culturally a fair complexion was more desirable. Guys, you understand that sometimes your wife goes through a place of poor self-image. But watch Solomon. He speaks to her, encourages her, builds her up.

This is something I have to learn, and maybe you can agree with me—we've got to learn how to use our words. Guys are visually stimulated; women are stimulated by communication. He speaks to her in a poetic way—"Your teeth are like well-shorn sheep"—which sounds strange to us, but it was a different time and culture. The result: in 2:1 her image is built up. She says, "I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys"—still humble. And he replies, "As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters." If she is a lily, every other woman is a thorn.

She speaks back to him in chapter 2, comparing him to a tree among the trees of the wood, resting under his shadow in safety and security. She rests in that security because of how he speaks to her. "He brought me into his banqueting house, and his banner over me was love." Then comes the intimacy of 2:6 and the charge not to stir up love before its time.

Flashback to Courtship and the Wedding

From 2:8 through 5:1 she flashes back to the courtship, the time she met Solomon. It appears he had gone to the northern part of Israel like an ordinary shepherd—remember his father David was a shepherd. She inquires about him and finds he is of good report. Teach your children that when they look for a spouse, look for someone of good report, because we can be blinded by love. Receive the counsel of others who can look objectively and say, "I don't know if this is the right fit for you."

In 3:6 the wedding procession begins: "Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke?" Solomon comes with sixty valiant men, experts in war, swords on their thighs, and his chariot of the wood of Lebanon. The king is coming to receive her.

Chapter 4 returns to the wedding night. Solomon is the initiator here, and he uses his words—important to take note of. He speaks of her eyes, hair, teeth, lips, speech, face, and neck, and other parts as well. "Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee." He says she has ravished his heart with one look of her eyes. This carries into chapter 5, where the marriage is consummated.

Problem-Solving in Marriage

Chapter 5:2 begins the next section, which we might call problem-solving in marriage, because this book is honest. It doesn't simply say "they lived happily ever after." Difficulties come—of course, in none of your marriages, right?

It seems she has a nightmare. Psychologists note that nightmares often spring from what we're going through. Just as the body rebuilds itself in sleep, the mind releases stress, which is why dream sleep is important. In the dream, her beloved comes to the door, but she rejects him with excuses: "I have put off my coat... I have washed my feet" (5:3). He lovingly leaves without pressuring her. When she finally rises and goes to the door, he is gone. She searches, cannot find him, and is fearful—then wakes.

What does she do the next day? She goes and looks for Solomon. When she finds him (5:2–6:12), he is not rude. He speaks to her lovingly, just as before. As Proverbs says, "A soft answer turns away wrath"—boy, do I constantly have to learn that.

I'll be honest: I might have skipped this book if it weren't for Dr. T.V. I've met with him a long time, and he taught through Song of Solomon here on Wednesday nights. Coming from India, he understands the Eastern and Middle Eastern view of this poetry and explained much of it to me. One thing he said about this passage: love cannot be restored by anger or by forcing one's will. It needs to be love that is reciprocated.

Reaching New Heights of Intimacy

Chapter 6:13 through 7:10 takes us to reaching new heights of intimacy. In 7:1, Solomon says, "How beautiful are thy feet with shoes." In the original language, "thy feet" speaks of a dance. Now Solomon is not the initiator—she is. Within marriage, intimacy is initiated on both sides at different times. She comes dancing for him—privately, not secretly. Intimacy within marriage is private but not secret.

He speaks to her about what he loves about her body. On the wedding night he started from the head down; now he starts from the feet up—her feet, thighs, navel, belly, neck, and more—describing what is lovely to him. This builds her up; it stimulates her through communication.

Let's be honest: the world projects intimacy as something on-again, off-again—and for guys that's true, since they tend to write the movies. Before I got married, my best man Mark made a PowerPoint for my bachelor party. One slide showed a single switch labeled "Men: on, off," and then a whole panel of dials, buttons, and flashing lights labeled "Women." Dr. T.V. says a guy is like a light bulb; a woman is like an iron—it takes a while to heat up. Knowing that, Solomon uses his words.

Men are stimulated by sight; women by speech and communication. A wife would do well to understand the one, and men would do well to understand the other—and this book explains it. It is a sad fact that the church has pushed this away and said, "We don't talk about that." But the Bible talks about it. Of course, use wisdom in where and how you teach it. I would not have taught this as a junior high pastor or before I was married. There are parts you can teach a young child—do not stir up love until it pleases—but use discernment.

In this seductive, intimate dance, Solomon says, "The king is held in the galleries" (7:5)—you have captivated me; you have all my attention. And she responds, "I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me" (7:10). She recognizes his desire is toward her, and once again they are joined as one.

Forever My Love

Chapter 7:11 through chapter 8 we might call "forever my love." She dedicates herself completely to him and asks to be the number one in his life. They go on a journey, and she takes him to her home in the north of Israel.

Here is that unique passage my mom mentioned earlier—the one my friend Charles and I puzzled over in high school. In 8:8–9 the Shulamite's brothers speak about their sister, who has not yet come of age: "What shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver; and if she be a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar."

"If she be a wall" means if she sets herself apart as chaste, not loose for just anybody, then we will lift her up as a prized possession, adorned with silver and gold. "If she be a door"—use your imagination—anybody can come and go, and then we will lock her up with cedar. But notice what she says: "I am a wall" (8:10). She made the choice to remain chaste, and chastity was a good thing. Why? Because when Solomon came calling, she was ready to go, with nothing hindering, nothing holding her to other parts of this world.

A Comfort to Believers

So the book is a necessary exhortation to singles and important counsel for couples—but it is also a comfort and encouragement to believers throughout the ages, because it speaks of the love God has for us.

Look at the very last verse, 8:14: "Make haste, my beloved... come quickly." What do the last verses of Revelation say? "The Spirit and the bride say, Come... Even so, come, Lord Jesus." In difficult times the church has looked to this book as a great comfort, because it speaks of the great love with which God loves us. We are His prized possession, His jewel, looked upon longingly.

Consider Genesis 2: God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and took from his side, and from his side He made a bride. That's the first Adam. There is a second Adam. God the Father caused a deep sleep to fall upon Him, and from His side blood and water flowed, and from it came a bride—you and I. We have never seen Him, yet we cry, "Come, Lord Jesus, quickly. The Spirit and the bride say, Come."

We look forward to the day the wedding procession begins, when the King comes for His bride. The Jewish wedding was different from ours. After the betrothal, the groom returned to his father's house to prepare a place, building his own house. When it was ready, the father would tell the son, "Go get your bride." Often in the middle of the night, with a great procession and joyful racket, he would come, receive the bride and her ladies-in-waiting, and return to the groom's house for a seven-day feast, after which the marriage was consummated.

In John 14, Jesus told us He goes to prepare a place for us. It took only six days to create the world; He has been preparing this place a long time—I can't imagine how wonderful it will be. There is coming a day when the Father will say, "Go get your bride," and He will come like a thief in the night to take the bride for the marriage feast we believe will be with the Lord.

And so, like the Shulamite in 8:14—"Make haste, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of spices"—we, the bride of Christ, look to the heavens, and the Spirit and the bride say, Come. Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly. It is a powerful passage. You do well to read it and study it, especially those who are married and those who are young and single, because God will honor you if you honor Him in these things.

Closing Prayer

Lord, we do cry out tonight: come quickly. We look forward to that day when You shall come and take us away. But until that time, I pray You would help us to be bright, shining examples in our marriages and in our lives, that people would see a difference. It is a sad thing that even within the church the divorce rate is like the world's. Lord, we pray You would change that as we take careful heed to Your Word—at least in this small fellowship, and here as a whole at Calvary Chapel. May we see our lives and our marriages transformed. We thank You that You have given us instruction about how to rightly use our lives, even in the context of marriage. You've left nothing out, and we praise You for that. Continue to teach us these things as we go from here. In Jesus' name, amen.