1 Corinthians 13:4

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as a sounding brass and a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned and have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind. Love envies not, it vaunts not itself, it is not puffed up. It does not behave itself unseemly. It seeks not its own. It is not easily provoked. It thinks no evil. It rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

But whether there be prophecies, they shall fail. Whether there be tongues, they shall cease. Whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect is come, that which is in part shall be done away with. When I was a child, I spoke as a child. I understood as a child. I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then shall I know even as I am known. And now abide faith, hope, and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Father, you have demonstrated your love to us. While we were your enemies, while we were sinners, you died for us. This is the greatest expression of love that we can ever even imagine. Jesus, you said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man would lay down his life for his friends." But you laid down your life for those who are enemies.

Lord, we who were steadfastly stubborn and rebellious, You gave Your life for us. This kind of love the world does not know apart from Your grace. This kind of love the world does not know apart from the expression of it within Your body, the church here on earth today.

So God, we pray that as we study these things, it would become a part of our lives. Not just something we talk about or boast about, but something that is identifiably seen in each of us. Lord, minister Your grace and Your truth by Your Spirit now as we look into Your Word. We ask in Jesus' name, and all God's people agreed, saying, Amen. You can be seated.

We began our study in 1 Corinthians 13 last week, looking only at the first three verses, which speak of the emptiness of lovelessness. As we come to verses 4 through 7, we find the most comprehensive biblical description of the fullness of love.

Now, this description, and I call it a description, not a definition, is the most complete description in the New Testament, but it certainly is just a part of what love is and not the whole. As Paul writes in verses 4 through 7, which we're going to be looking at first this week and then finishing up next week, or at least that's the plan, we see 15 characteristics, 15 virtues or facets of love. If you count the first few words of verse 8, you could say that there are 16.

This is not the fullness of all that love is, but it is a very large description of what love is. It’s awesome and beautiful. It has been posted on t-shirts, bumper stickers, cards, and calendars. It’s spoken at weddings, even weddings of people who really don't care much for the Bible. It’s taught in public schools as being a great portion of literature, very poetic, as Paul describes what love looks like.

If you were to look at these 15 or 16 facets of love in the original language, you would find that each one of these is in the verbal form in Greek. They do not focus so much on what love is as much as on what love does. This is what love does. This is what love is like. This is agape love. The Greek word "agape" is translated as "charity" in the King James Version and "love" in most other English translations. It is not abstract; it is not passive. It is active.

Love does not simply feel patience; it practices patience. It does not simply have kind feelings; it does kind things. It does not simply recognize the truth; it rejoices in the truth and actively presents and sends forth the truth of God. In our culture, love is mostly about feelings. When you ask people to define or describe love, they are probably going to speak about their emotions, what is in their heart.

However, love, as a biblical concept and an attribute of God's character, is an action. It is something that is done. This passage, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, is not merely instructive about love; it provides instructions for how we ought to love. At the outset, before we even jump into this, we need to at least recognize or maybe even confess that none of us in this room today can put our names in place of "love" in this passage and say, "Josh suffers long and is kind," or "Scott does not behave rudely or think no evil."

I hope that is the case, but we recognize that none of us measure up to these standards. Notice I didn't put my name; I singled you guys out. I love you. We couldn't put our names in here, but we do recognize that Jesus is the fullness of the perfection of these qualities that we see in this passage. We who are in Christ have Christ in us, and He glorifies His love through us, which should be evident in our lives. This is the fruit, the evidence of the Spirit of God dwelling in us, not spiritual gifts.

Spiritual gifts are active things that God works through us to effectively do the work of the ministry, but they are not evidence of the life of the Spirit in the life of the Christian. The first three verses make that very clear because you can have spiritual gifts, sacrificial giving, tongues, prophecy, knowledge, wisdom, and faith. You can have those things and yet have not love, and therefore have not God. This is the evidence that we have God.

These fifteen facets are just a part of the description of what this agape love is like, and Paul selected these specific attributes. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is long-suffering. He selected these things specifically for the church he was writing to because the Corinthians were failing in these areas. They were not patient, they were not kind, and they were not loving.

Lest we point the finger of judgment at them and say, "Oh, you Corinthians, how terrible," we must take a step back and recognize that we aren't these things either. However, we should seek to be so. The longer we walk with the Lord Jesus Christ, these qualities ought to be evident. The fruit of the Spirit should be evident in our lives. If it's not, and if there is no conviction that it should be, then we should be concerned for ourselves or for others who do not exhibit these qualities.

These attributes are not instantly perfected in us. It begins at the new birth when we become Christians, marked by a conviction in our hearts given to us by the Holy Spirit. We ought to be patient, although we don't always measure up. We ought to be kind, but we often fail at that. In our own strength, trying to manufacture or drum up these qualities just doesn't happen. It has to be the expression of God living through us.

When we come to this realization, we might feel a little discouraged when we read about these qualities, but we shouldn't. Instead, we should come to the place where we say, "God, would you work in me so that I would function with your patience when I'm dealing with that person I don't like?" The reality is, it's just not possible, although we Christians like to say it.

It's just not possible for us to say, "I don't like you, but I love you because I have to." If we're seeking to live with godly character, that attitude is exemplary of our flesh. Saying, "I don't like you, but I love you because I have to. I'm a Christian. I have to love you," just doesn't work. We need to check that at the door and let it go.

Paul begins in verse 4 by saying, "Love suffers long," or, in most new English translations, "Love is patient." The Greek word translated as "patience" is used several times in the New Testament and primarily deals with patience towards people, not patience towards circumstances or events. It is concerned primarily with other people. This is important because we have an amazing propensity to be patient in difficult or trying circumstances.

It's far easier for us to be long-suffering or patient in the midst of a hard situation than it is with a hard person. Many of you right now are enduring difficult situations—losing your house, losing your job, losing your savings, having difficulty at work, or facing challenges in your marriage. Whatever it may be, you're in a difficult situation, and you're patiently enduring. That's good; those are good things.

However, when we speak of love being patient here, it's not specifically about those circumstances. It's about that person who just drives you crazy. You can spend an entire year in a difficult situation, but five minutes in their presence makes you want to lose your mind. You're laughing because it's true. And maybe that person is in this room today. The body of Christ is filled with difficult people. Do you realize God placed them there for that purpose? He placed them in your life and in my life.

To transform us more and more into the image of His Son, one early Christian writer, preacher, and pastor said that patience is the word used to describe a man who is wronged and has it easily in his power to avenge himself, but will never do it. Patience does not retaliate.

Now, this is just not part of our nature, is it? It's simply not who we are. This sort of love, manifested in active patience, is strictly a Christian concept. It was not considered a virtue in the Greek Hellenistic worldview of the first century. Aristotle stated that the great Greek virtue is the refusal to tolerate any insult or injury and the readiness to strike back at any hurt. That's the great Greek virtue: "I'm not going to put up with this any longer. I'm going to stand up for myself." The Greeks would have applauded such a stance.

Yet, Jesus said, "You have heard that it has been said of old time, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I say unto you that you resist not evil, but whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." Now, that's difficult, isn't it? It's difficult in our culture, and it's difficult for me.

The fastest growing sport in popularity in America today is mixed martial arts, ultimate fighting. It is the fastest growing in popularity because we make heroes of people who strike back. "Get him! Choke him out! Break his arm! Oh, get him!" We love it. Our flesh thrives on that. The first-century Roman world did as well. It was during this period that the games and gladiators started to rise.

to supremacy in Rome. The people loved it. They loved to watch that strike back because that was virtuous to them. However, we have to recognize that it is in our culture, but it's not virtuous in the kingdom of God. Something else is exalted in the kingdom of God that is almost completely opposite.

The Greek word translated as patience here literally means to be long-tempered or slow to anger. It reminds me of one of my favorite passages in the Bible, in the book of Exodus. In Exodus chapter 34, verse 6, God proclaims His name and defines, in one small sense, His character and nature to Moses. He says, "The Lord passed by and proclaimed to Moses, 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, slow to anger or long-suffering.'" This patience, this long-suffering, is an expression of mercy. It is not giving to that person who has wronged you what you believe they deserve. It is mercy. Therefore, patience is an expression of mercy, and God, in His nature, is merciful and slow to anger.

Paul speaks about this in Romans chapter 2, verse 4, where he says to the wicked person, "Do not despise the riches of God's goodness, His forbearance, and His long-suffering." Don't despise that God is long-suffering. How many of you are thankful today that God has been long-suffering in your life? The Old Testament is a testimony of God's patience and His long-suffering nature.

You may say, "Well, how is that possible?" We see Him throwing flaming road tar from heaven down on cities and destroying the Amalekites. How is it possible that He is long-suffering? What we read in three or four pages actually spans hundreds, if not thousands, of years sometimes of God's patience. He patiently sent righteous, godly prophets to come and say, "Turn to God, and He'll be merciful to you. But if you don't discipline, it will come. Chastening will come." Over the course of generations, there would finally come a time...

When God would come and bring judgment, there is an appointed day of wrath, but God is patient. Thank you, Lord.

2 Peter 3, verse 9 states, "The Lord is not slack concerning His promises, as some men count slackness, but He is long-suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all would come to repentance." He is long-suffering. Jesus is a picture of patience. There on the cross, He had all power and authority to call twelve legions of angels to come and defend Him in that moment. People were mocking Him, saying, "If you're the Christ, get yourself down off the cross." He could have done that. Those nails weren't holding Him; He held Himself up there upon the cross. In a second, He could have come down and obliterated everything. Yet, in the midst of that, we see His patience and long-suffering. What are His near last words? Luke chapter 23 records, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

You might say, "Well, okay, that's Jesus. Come on, that's God. Of course, He's that way. I'm just human." However, I think of Stephen in Acts chapter 7, verse 60. He was in the midst of being killed for his testimony of Christ. While he was being stoned to death, people were hurling stones at him. He kneeled down and cried with a loud voice, saying, "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge."

Paul begs us in Ephesians chapter 4 to be long-suffering. Ephesians 4, verse 1 states, "I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that you would walk worthy of the calling wherewith you are called, with all lowliness, meekness, and long-suffering." We are called to be patient and long-suffering, knowing that, in Christ, we can do just that.

A story is told of Abraham Lincoln. As he was moving along in his life toward the presidency, Lincoln made a lot of friends and certainly some enemies. One man who became a rather outspoken enemy of Lincoln's was a man by the name of Stanton.

Stanton despised Abraham Lincoln, it is said. He called him the low, cunning clown. During that time, some adventurers were seeking to go to Africa to capture a gorilla and bring it back to America. Stanton was known for telling some of them, "You don't need to go to Africa; just go to Springfield, Illinois. You'll find the original gorilla." That's what he called Abraham Lincoln.

When it came time for Abraham Lincoln to choose his cabinet, he selected Stanton as his war minister. Someone questioned Lincoln, asking why he would choose him since he hated Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln replied, "Because he's the best man for the job." The night that the assassin's bullet took Lincoln's life, it is said that Stanton was found weeping over the lifeless body of Abraham Lincoln, saying, "There lies the greatest ruler man has ever known." He may not have accepted the politics of Lincoln, but he could not resist the patience of Lincoln.

Well, love is patient. Love is also kind. If patience is the expression of mercy, then kindness is the expression of grace. Patience does not give an individual what they deserve. Grace, or kindness, gives them what they certainly do not deserve. It's perhaps described best by Jesus in Matthew chapter 5, in the Sermon on the Mount, specifically verse 43, when Jesus says, "You have heard that it has been said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy,' but I say to you, love your enemies."

When Jesus says to love your enemies in Matthew chapter 5, verse 44, he is not saying to have a nice, warm-hearted affection towards your enemies. This is not a feeling. When you ask people, "Do you love your enemy?" they often respond, "Well, I don't feel love for them." However, that's not what Jesus is talking about. He goes on to say, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you." This word "bless" is not just a casual expression like "God bless you." We often say "God bless you" on one side of our mouths while harboring ill feelings on the other. This word "bless" means something much deeper.

It rather is speaking of blessing them in a very practical way, giving them those things that they have need of. So, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use and persecute you.

This word translated as "kind" in 1 Corinthians 13:4 is used only this once in the New Testament, but the root of this word is used several times. Jesus uses it to describe Himself in Matthew 11:30, where we read, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." That word "easy" is the same root word. My yoke is kind; it's good.

It is also used to speak of God the Father. In Luke 6:35, Jesus says, "But love your enemies and do good and lend, hoping for nothing again. And your reward shall be great, and you shall be the children of the highest, for He is kind." This is the same Greek root word. He is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

We already looked at Romans 2:4, where Paul says to the wicked, "Do you despise the riches of the goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering of God, not knowing that the goodness"—the same Greek word—"of God leads to repentance." The kindness of God draws us to repentance.

We think that the best way to get someone to repent is just to constantly berate them with the judgment and the wrath of God. For some, maybe that might help, but the reality is that it is His kindness that leads us to repentance. When His wrath is exalted, we recognize that we deserve all of God's wrath, punishment, and judgment. However, it is His kindness that says, "Yes, you deserve it, but I placed that upon Jesus so that you could be saved." Kindness.

Paul uses this word for kindness to exhort us, the church. In Ephesians 4:32, he says, "And you, church, be you kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you." Longsuffering endures the injuries of others, but kindness pays them back only with good deeds.

Matthew chapter 5, verse 43, states, "You have heard that it has been said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use and persecute you." In verse 45, it continues, "That you may be the children of your Father, which is in heaven, for He makes the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends the rain on the just and the unjust." God is kind, even to those who are enemies. Since God is kind, we ought also to be kind.

Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy. The Greek word "zolo" means to burn with zeal. It can be used in a good context, but most of the time in the New Testament, it is used with a negative connotation. It burns with zeal, meaning to be heated to a boil with envy, which leads to hatred and anger. To be heated to a boil with envy is dangerous.

Another word for envy is that great "J" word: jealousy. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that there are really two kinds of jealousy. The first is a surface jealousy, which looks around and sees things that other people have and says, "I want that." They have that house, that car, that job, or whatever it is. They have those good looks, those muscles; I want that.

The second kind of jealousy, referred to in Proverbs 14, verse 30, is described as the rottenness of the bones. This is a deep, wicked, vile jealousy that looks at something someone else has and says, "I don't necessarily want that; I just don't want them to have it." It is a hatred for their possession. William Barclay called this the meanness of the soul.

This type of jealousy is perfectly illustrated in 1 Kings chapter 3, when two women are brought before Solomon. They have one child and are arguing over which one owns the child. Whose child is it? No one can figure it out; they didn't have DNA tests to determine the truth.

This is her child. In 1 Kings chapter 3, Solomon says, "Bring me a sword." They bring him a sword, and he says, "Cut the baby in half, and give half to her and half to her." Then the woman whose living child it was spoke to the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son. She said, "O my Lord, give her the child, and in no way slay it." The real mother stood up and said, "Please, king, don't kill the baby; give the baby to her."

The other woman responded, "Let it be neither mine nor hers; divide it." This reveals the rottenness of her heart. She didn't want the child, but she didn't want the other woman to have it either. Solomon knew instantly whose child it was and gave it to the rightful mother. Jealousy and envy are at the heart of so much sin. It's not a fun study, but if you want to study sin, you'll find that much of it has its root in jealousy.

Consider the sin of Eve in the garden, the sin of Cain against Abel, the sin of Joseph's brothers when they sold him into slavery, and the sin of the religious leaders in their conspiracy against Jesus.

Turn in your Bibles to the book of James, right after the book of Hebrews. James chapter 3, verse 14 says, "But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, do not boast and lie not against the truth. This wisdom comes not from above; it's not from God, but it is earthly, fleshly, sensual, and devilish." Envy and strife in your heart are wicked, as he says.

In verse 16, he continues, "For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work." Every evil work finds its root in some way in these feelings.

In envy and strife, you might wonder, if that's the case, how can God be called a jealous God? In Exodus chapter 20, verse 5; chapter 34, verse 14; Deuteronomy 4:24; 5:9; 6:15; and dozens of other places throughout the Scriptures, God is referred to as a jealous God. If every evil work stems from jealousy, how can we possibly call God a jealous God?

This very reality pushed Oprah Winfrey, by her own confession, away from the church. When she was 25 years old, sitting in a Baptist church, she heard the preacher speaking about the jealousy of God. She thought to herself, "If God is jealous of me, there's a problem." And you know what? She's right. God is not up in heaven saying, "Gosh, that Oprah Winfrey has so much. I just wish I had that place in Santa Barbara." That's not it.

So, what does it mean that God is a jealous God? It does not mean that God is jealous of us; rather, He is jealous for us. He yearns jealously for our affection. You might say, "Well, that's rather pompous." But let me tell you, God is not up in heaven just saying, "Oh, I wish you would love me for me." No. He recognizes that you and I, humanity, are at our best and most satisfied when we find our satisfaction in Him.

He knows that we have our fullest when we find our fulfillment in Him. That's why, when He looks at humanity trying to find satisfaction in all the things of this world, He says, "That's just not going to be it. It's only found in me." He yearns jealously for us because it's ultimately for our benefit. Therefore, we can rightly say He is a jealous God.

Love suffers long and is kind; it does not envy. Number four, love does not vaunt itself, as the King James Version says. That's a tough word; we don't use that today. "Don't vaunt yourself" sounds like something from Germany: "Vaunt not thyself."

It is, in reality, a good word, although we don't use it very much anymore. It's defined in English dictionaries that "vaunt" means to boast or praise excessively. Love does not boast itself.

Now, this is immediately followed by the statement that love is not puffed up or love is not arrogant. We might think that Paul is just restating this when he says love does not boast itself and that it is not puffed up, but they are actually two different things. When we read that love does not boast itself here, the boasting refers to the verbal declaration of pride. It's the hot air that comes out of the boaster's mouth continually.

On the other hand, when he says love is not puffed up or love is not arrogant, we can imagine that arrogance is the inner oven that heats the hot air coming out of the boaster's mouth. The arrogance is the internal conceit, the internal arrogance, and the boasting is that which comes from the internal conceit. Does that make sense?

So, Paul says love does not boast itself. It's not verbalizing constantly; it's pride, it's hot air. C.S. Lewis called boasting the utmost evil. He says this is the greatest sin; it is the essential vice, the vice that is at the very essence of man. Those are pretty heavy words: the utmost evil, a great sin, the essential vice.

These are heavy words because, if we're honest, in our culture, boasting is a virtue. We Americans are known the world over for our boasting. What do we call our nation? The greatest nation on God's green earth. We boast about our achievements, our possessions, our abilities, and our way of life. Please don't misunderstand me; I love the fact that God has blessed us. I'm thankful that God has allowed me.

To live in such a nation as this, we should at least recognize that we're a nation of boasters. We are also a culture that sees this as a very important aspect of rearing children. We are told by those who instruct us that we should do everything we can to uplift our children's self-esteem so that they have confidence. They are encouraged to go out into this world and profess to everybody how great they are. In essence, our children are to become good boasters.

We have to constantly blow hot air into them, like hot air balloons, so that they will rise and excel. We are told that if we really want our children to soar, that is just what we need to do: blow that hot air into them, fill them up nice and big, give them big fat heads, and then they will soar a real long way and climb to great heights. Isn't that really the nature of what we're being told as a nation, as a people, especially for the last generation and a half?

Now, let me tell you, if you buy into this self-esteem teaching of our day and puff your children up like hot air balloons, expect to always have to continue blowing more hot air in. If you're not constantly blowing hot air into them, what happens to that hot air balloon when it gets way up high? It will fall fast. You have to keep them afloat; you have to constantly blow hot air into them. The second you fail to do it, they will come crashing down.

We are seeing this in our day, particularly in the generation that we call the millennials—those born from 1980 until about the year 2000. Many of them are in colleges right now, and some are just beginning to step into the work-a-day world. They are confronted with this bitter cold reality: there is not a lot of hot air being blown into them anymore. A lot of them are coming crashing down and feeling very depressed because things are hard in our nation today, aren't they? For those who have just been educated and educated, they have been told they are going to change the world.

We just came through a graduation cycle. If you listen to any of these graduation speeches that are going on, everybody is being told, "You are going to change the world." Then they go out and realize, "I'm not changing the world; I can't even get a job."

It is much better to teach our children to fly high on the wings of godly character and an honest estimation of who they are in Christ. Because then they will fly higher and travel further, unaffected by the loss of hot air or the shifting of winds, which is so prevalent in our day.

Now, boasting, whether we realize it or not, is actually geared to hurt other people. It is focused on making the boaster stand out while making others look inferior, and our flesh loves it. John MacArthur said it is the desire to make somebody else envious. It is a sin because it is the wrong thing to do. It is a double sin because it makes somebody else jealous, and that is sin. Therefore, you have made your brother stumble.

Paul says in Galatians chapter 6, verse 3, "If any man thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself." This does not mean that we should have an inferiority complex, walking around saying, "Well, I'm just nothing." We need to find our value and our worth in Christ. A proper view of ourselves is exceedingly helpful.

But love does not boast itself because love is not arrogant. Love is not puffed up or conceited. Arrogance is, again, the oven that heats the hot air flowing out of the boaster's throat. It is that internal conceit, and the Corinthians were puffed up. Paul has been addressing their arrogant nature throughout the book so far.

Pride is seen in our culture as a supreme value. When I was in junior high, in sixth, seventh, and eighth grade, I was in the marching band at Hidden Valley Middle School. That's my mom.

Coming up on almost 20 years ago, I don't remember any of the songs we played. I remember very little, but I remember that we were required, every one of us, to memorize the definition of pride. Pride is a justifiable appreciation of one's worth, abilities, and high ideals. Twenty years later, I remember that. I remember nothing else, but I remember that.

Pride is exalted as a very important virtue, and it is manifested in boasting. It was once said that an empty truck makes the most noise. Pride is exalted as a virtue in America, yet it is laid down as an abominable sin before God. In fact, the Scriptures say He hates it. The Proverbs speak much about pride. Proverbs chapter 6, verses 16 and 17 state, "These six things does the Lord hate, yes, seven are an abomination to Him." What's the first one? A proud look.

Proverbs 11, verse 2 says, "When pride comes, then comes shame." Proverbs 13, verse 10 states, "Only by pride comes contention." Proverbs 14, verse 3 notes, "In the mouth of the foolish is the rod of pride." Proverbs 16, verse 18 warns, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 29, verse 23 declares, "A man's pride shall bring him low."

Now, our culture says that if you have pride, you will go to great heights. The Scriptures say a man's pride shall bring him low. What do the Scriptures exalt over pride? Humility and meekness. Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up. If you want to be chief among men, make yourself a servant of all.

Such a different reality, isn't it? Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy; it does not boast itself; it is not puffed up. Love does not behave itself...

Unseemly, the King James Version states that love is not rude; it does not behave itself in an unbecoming manner. In other words, love has good manners. Poor manners and rudeness are manifested when we say, "I don't love you because I could care less what affects you. I will do what I want, whether you like it or not." Love is never rude, says John MacArthur, because love always considers how what it does affects somebody else.

William Barclay said there is a graciousness in Christian love that never forgets that courtesy, tact, and politeness are lovely things. Love does not behave gracelessly. Barclay emphasizes that you can have great doctrine and all the answers to tough theological questions, yet still be a pharisaical fathead. Without grace, tact, courtesy, and love, you are therefore nothing; your answers are meaningless.

I have experienced this firsthand. While discussing something with someone who disagrees with me, they often tell me, "You're wrong. You don't understand the Scriptures. You don't understand doctrine." This happens regularly. They say to me, "I love you, brother," but then proceed to tell me how much of a heretic I am. I have had it twice in the last six months, with someone telling me, "I'm a heretic. I love you, brother." These are mere, empty, vain words when rudeness is attached.

Now, I have to confess that we need to watch ourselves in this area as it relates to non-believers. We have a tendency to justify our rudeness toward people who are not Christians, and we do it in very sly ways. We think, "Well, they're not a Christian; I can be rude to them." I don't know how we justify this behavior, but we do, and we have to be very careful. We might think, "Well, they're just sinners," but this attitude manifests itself in our actions.

In what I might call thoughtless unkindness, we don't even realize we're being unkind; we're just rude. It's plain rudeness and lovelessness. Jesus loved at all times, and Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times." I want to be known, as Jesus was, as a friend of sinners. This doesn't mean I indulge in their sin or am pleased with their sin, but that they recognize they can actually come and talk with me.

Over the years, as we've been working in chaplaincy, we've had people who want to be chaplains—Eric, myself, and many others in the area. When you get around worldly people, they might drop the F-bomb or talk about things you probably wouldn't discuss. They laugh at things you might never even find funny. In those situations, we can be exceedingly rude and think, "How dare you? I can't hang around with that sinner."

While we don't indulge in their sin, we want to be light in darkness. Light in darkness is not always like a laser beam saying, "How dare you, wicked wretch! You're never supposed to think such things." That's how we often react, saying, "I can't believe you'd say such a thing, you wicked person." It's rudeness.

There is a time for good, right doctrine in discussion, but when someone has just lost a loved one, it's not the time to say, "Well, you know, it's because of sin."

Now, moving on to the next point: love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy; it does not boast; it is not puffed up. It does not behave itself unseemly; it seeks not its own; it is not self-seeking. This is key to all the previous points we've just looked at. If you're going to be patient and kind, and live without jealousy, boasting, arrogance, or rudeness, then quite frankly, you're going to have to die to yourself and not seek your own.

Paul petitioned the Philippians, saying, "Fulfill my joy, that you be like-minded."

Having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind, let nothing be done through strife or vain glory. In lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others.

Paul has already hit on this a number of times. In 1 Corinthians, chapter 10, verse 23, he says, "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient. All things are lawful for me, but all things do not edify." Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth, another's well-being. Paul is saying that he will willingly lay down his rights to seek another's well-being.

In chapter 10, verse 31 of 1 Corinthians, he writes, "Whether therefore you eat or drink, whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God." He advises to give no offense, neither to Jews nor Gentiles, nor to the church of God. Even as I please all men in all things, I am not seeking my own profit or well-being, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.

He exhorts the church in 1 Corinthians 12:25, saying that there should be no division, no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care one for another. We should also remember the words of our Lord Jesus in Mark, chapter 10, verse 44: "Whosoever of you will be chief shall be servant of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give his life a ransom for many."

Love does not seek its own. One more point: love is not easily angered or provoked; it does not suddenly outburst. Here’s the heavy one: I believe it was William Barclay who said it never gets upset or irritated. Wow, that's me all the time! I’ve got that one down, but for the last second and a half, now I'm irritated again.

There are things that should anger us. Those things that anger God should anger us. We should be angry for the right reasons and respond in the right way. You can't really live the Christian life without a little bit of anger.

In reality, you've got to be mad at what Satan does. You've got to be mad at your own flesh. You've got to be angry with that which defiles God's Word and God's truth. That is what we might call righteous indignation, but it responds in the right way.

What would be the right way? If I'm angry about the things that anger God, the right way is to bring that to God in prayer and say, "You are the one who says, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay.' It is not my place." Be angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give place to the devil, as Ephesians chapter 4, verse 26 says. Be angry at those things that anger God, but remember, vengeance and wrath are His.

One woman once said, "I lose my temper, but it's all over in a minute." To wit, her pastor responded, "So is an atomic bomb." Love is patient, love is kind. Love envies not, it boasts not itself, it is not puffed up, it does not behave rudely, it seeks not its own, and it is not easily provoked. These are all descriptions of Jesus. As we are in Christ and He dwells in us, these things should be evident through us to this world and to one another.

Let me tell you, His kindness, His patience, His love—it's winsome. It draws people to Him, and we are the body of Christ, so people should be drawn to us. Yet, so many people are repelled by the church. Why? Because the church is very good at doing what? You're all this, you're all that, you're all going to go to hell.

I can't tell you how many people I saw with my own eyes within a week after September 11th, 2001. Eric, Rick Kiersted, myself, and Mark Cato were on the ground in New York City, and we saw so many people.

Standing on ladders and buckets, yelling "turn or burn," you're all going to die, judgment is coming. All truth is presented with rudeness, without love, like a clanging symbol. People would cross to the other side of the road, wanting nothing to do with them. This approach is ineffective, very effective at starting a fight.

You tell hurting people, who watched their friends jump out of buildings as they collapsed, "How do you think they're going to respond to you?" They won't say, "Oh, I need to repent. You're right, I forgot about that." Instead, they will likely feel anger and rejection.

New Yorkers, I thank you for your patience and your kindness. You're very loving. Let's stand and pray together.

Father, I am so struck by those words: love never fails. I am convicted by the fact that I fail. I fail to be kind and patient. I fail when I envy and when I boast. I fail when I'm rude, when I seek my own, and when I'm easily provoked. God, I fail, and I come to you asking that you would forgive me. Thank you for your forgiveness and your long-suffering kindness.

Would you work in me by your Spirit and by your Word to fulfill these things, that you would be honored and glorified? We thank you for your Word, God. It is so convicting; it is living and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword. But God, it's good because it cuts out of us those things that are disgraceful and dishonoring to you. Work this into us, your church. Lord, we pray this in Jesus' name.

Amen. Latino, y'all on Him, in Jesus' name. Thank you for your $3 offering. It is an offering of mercy, harmony, and peace. It is such a resource for love, about how you have learned with us. We are all like kings, and some people are in awe of this.