2 Corinthians 7:8

For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent; for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season. Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner... For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. — 2 Corinthians 7:8-10

Two sorrows look alike on the surface—one leads to life, the other to death.

A Scandal and Two Kinds of Sorrow

It was the defining news story of 1998—not my graduation from high school, but a scandal in the White House. On January 17th, a then little-known site called the Drudge Report broke a story that Newsweek had killed: allegations of an improper relationship between President Bill Clinton and a 23-year-old intern. Twelve months later, the 42nd President was impeached on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice.

In August of 1998, a shamed president appeared on primetime television admitting, "I misled people." Some considered that four-minute message genuine penance; others called it political expediency. Every time I think of that scandal, I'm reminded of what Paul teaches in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10, where he contrasts two different kinds of sorrow—one that works repentance unto salvation, and one, the sorrow of the world, that produces death.

The Backstory of Paul and Corinth

Some context is essential here. Paul had planted the church at Corinth and pastored there for eighteen months. After he left, opposition to his ministry arose. Questions about Christian conduct surfaced, divisions developed, and personality cults formed—some saying "I am of Paul," others "of Apollos," "of Cephas," while the steadfast ones said "we are of Christ." Beyond these divisions, sin had crept into the church: divorces and immorality were in the body.

During his third missionary journey, while staying nearly three years in Ephesus, Paul made a special visit to Corinth because of these problems. It was a heavy, sorrowful visit. He had to rebuke people and set things in order, and when he left he resolved, "I'm not doing this again." Can you relate? You've had a visit with family and left saying, "Never again." Paul determined he would not come to them again in sorrow.

The Sorrowful Letter

Returning to Ephesus with a heavy heart, Paul wrote a challenging letter—one we no longer possess. We don't know why God willed that we wouldn't have it, but I believe it was because of the severity of the rebuke. He tells us he wrote it with a heavy heart, and he sent it to Corinth by the hand of Titus, with the plan of visiting again himself once the letter had its effect.

In chapter 2, Paul says, "I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness." Notice how many times he uses the word "sorrowful" or "sorry." He continues: "Out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you." Then he tells us that when he came to Troas, "I had no rest in my spirit, because I found not Titus my brother."

Comforted by the Coming of Titus

Back in chapter 7, verse 5: "When we were come into Macedonia, our flesh had no rest, but we were troubled on every side; without were fightings, within were fears. Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us by the coming of Titus." In twelve verses, Paul uses the noun "sorrow" or the verb "to make sorrowful" twelve times.

Paul had made a decision not to bring them a heavy heart—it gave him no joy to make them depressed. It would be a twisted thing if he enjoyed making them sad. But because of their sin, he wrote a sorrowful letter that caused them sorrow, and he wrote it with many tears. One commentator said it was written not with ink but with tears.

For a time, Paul actually regretted writing it. Have you ever had to rebuke or discipline someone, and afterward questioned yourself—was I too hard? Was it too much? They had no text messages then; Titus couldn't message from Corinth, "Everything's okay." For weeks or months Paul went back and forth, depressed, wondering if he'd been too heavy-handed. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted him by the coming of Titus.

No Joy in Rebuke—the Heart of a Parent

Paul found no pleasure in having to rebuke sinful behavior. In fact, it depressed him. I note this because some in the world take a weird, morbid pleasure in causing or watching the pain of others. Apart from Christ, every one of us is capable of that. There are tyrannical authoritarians who enjoy crushing others by rebuke—compassionless megalomaniacs.

But it is the heart of a loving parent to be pained when they must cause pain for the sake of discipline. The reluctant disciplinarian is the one who disciplines with a compassionate heart. Every loving parent has uttered those paradoxical words a child balks at: "This hurts me more than it hurts you." As a child you didn't believe it—is your hand hurt? Then you become a parent and find yourself saying it, realizing, "I've become my dad." You only understand it when you must discipline your own child, because God builds in a heart of love. Discipline out of anger, enjoyed in some way, is abuse. But for a loving parent, it truly hurts at the core. Paul considered himself a parent to these churches, and rebuking them was not something he enjoyed.

God Is Pained by the Need to Judge

This reveals the heart of God. Ezekiel lived 2,500 years ago as an exile in Babylon, where Israel was under judgment for their sin—prisoners of war, slaves, hundreds of miles from home. Like every child under discipline, they despised it and likely thought, "If God loved us, we wouldn't be here."

God's word to them, Ezekiel 18:23: "Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die, saith the Lord God; and not that he should return from his ways, and live?" And verse 32: "For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord: wherefore turn yourselves, and live." Hebrews 12:6 adds, "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." Discipline is evidence of God's love—though we don't feel it in the moment.

Hebrews 12:11 says, "No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." The desire of chastening is always good fruit—a sorrow according to the will of God. Paul rejoiced not because he enjoyed their sorrow, but because of its fruit. There is no joy in sin and no joy in sorrow, but there is rejoicing in sorrow over sin that produces repentance.

Two Sorrows Contrasted

Paul wrote that letter sowing in tears. I'm reminded of Psalm 126:5: "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him."

Verse 10 identifies the two sorrows: "Godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death." One results in repentance leading to salvation; the other results in separation and death. Godly sorrow is produced by words bathed in compassion and received by a heart prepared by the Holy Spirit. It requires both: the one speaking must bring it from a heart of love, and the one receiving must have a heart prepared by the Spirit's conviction.

So if God ever calls you to bring a rebuke to someone in the body, pray two things: that God would give you, the rebuker, a heart of compassion; and that God by His Spirit would work in the heart of the one receiving it. Unless God works in that heart, they'll harden it and reject both you and your words. Because of my calling and that of the other pastors and elders, there are times we must rebuke people—and I get no joy from it. There's turmoil in our hearts. Many pastors pray, "God, just do this by Your Spirit; right the wrong." But when a rebuke is needed, we pray for compassion and for a receptive heart.

Seven Marks of Godly Sorrow

Verse 11 defines what godly sorrow looks like, giving us seven demonstrations.

First, carefulness or diligence. Godly sorrow is careful and diligent to repent—to turn around. You've been going one direction; to repent is to go another, and to maintain rightness.

Second, clearing of yourselves. The Greek word is apologia—an apology, a defense (2 Peter 3:15). Godly sorrow gives a reasoned answer that acknowledges the specific wrong. We've all experienced the inadequate apology: "I'm sorry." "For what?" "For whatever made you mad." That clears nothing. Godly sorrow says, "I am sorry for this—I forgot your birthday, I did that." It names the wrong.

Third, indignation. Godly sorrow is angered, irritated, and vexed by one's own sin—not merely by its consequences. Every time a politician gets caught, it often seems they're more upset they were caught than that they offended; given the chance, they'd do it again. David in Psalm 51 shows the opposite. He had committed adultery with Bathsheba, made her husband Uriah complicit in his own murder, and covered it up for a year. When the prophet Nathan told him the parable of the rich man stealing the poor man's lamb, David declared, "This man shall die"—he knew justice. Then Nathan said, "Thou art the man." David was broken, and his repentance is why this guilt-ridden sinner is called a man after God's own heart.

Fourth, fear. Godly sorrow produces a reverence for God. David knew justice demanded his death; when extended mercy, he was brought into proper reverence for God.

Fifth, vehement desire. It produces a deep longing for restoration and righteousness. David prayed, "Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation."

Sixth, zeal. Godly sorrow restores passion for God's glory. David ended Psalm 51 vowing, "Then will I teach transgressors thy ways."

Seventh, vindication or revenge. Godly sorrow does not tolerate the continuance of sin; it is exacting and severe in dealing with it. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:29, "If thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out... it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."

Worldly Sorrow

By contrast, worldly sorrow may initially appear as indignation toward sin. A person may look outwardly broken. We see this in Esau, who wept bitterly over losing the blessing, yet Hebrews says "he found no place of repentance." Worldly sorrow appears grieved, but it is not zealously oriented toward God's glory, nor does it long for rightness with God and man.

Worldly sorrow is sorry only that it has been exposed. It cares little for the hurt it caused others; it is pained only by the inconvenience of being found out. Given the chance to sin again with hope of escaping consequences, it would strike fast. Worldly sorrow grieves not the sinfulness of the act, but the consequence suffered for its disclosure.

Comfort in the Rebuke

"Though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not regret it... I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance." Salvation is restoration from sin and death. Paul says their actions proved their sorrow was godly: "In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter."

In verse 12 Paul explains he wrote not merely because of the one who did wrong, nor only for the one wronged, but "that our care for you in the sight of God might appear unto you." He wrote so they would see his heart of love, even when it didn't feel loving. As he says in 2 Corinthians 12:15, "Though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved." They might have thought, "There he goes again, always such a hard nose"—yet Paul wrote from compassion.

He adds, "We were comforted in your comfort." That letter of rebuke became a comfort. It's like Psalm 23: "Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." A rod seems an odd comfort, yet God's chastening, an indication of His love, is a comfort.

Confidence in a Problem Church

Paul boasted of the Corinthians to Titus and was proved truthful. Had Paul not written this, all we would ever think of Corinth was, "What a bunch of problem children." Yet he says, "I rejoice therefore that I have confidence in you in all things." This church with many problems ends with a great testimony.

We would be foolish to say we're not a problem church. Yet by His love God disciplines and chastens us, sometimes in ways we don't like, but always for a good purpose. The confidence Paul had is the same he expressed in Philippians 1:6: "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." I lean heavily on that verse—for myself, for our church, for my children. How we need the chastening hand of the Lord, by His Spirit and His Word, to perfect in us that good work well-pleasing to Him.

Closing Prayer

Father, I thank You for Your good word to us, and for Your great love. There's not a single person in this room without sin, none perfect. But God, You see us holy and blameless in Christ. You see the finished product. You know that You will be faithful to complete the work You began in us. We look forward to the day we stand before You and hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." God, work in us. If in any way we've strayed or been estranged from You because of sin, Lord, produce godly sorrow in our hearts today that results in repentance ending in salvation. Draw us by Your lovingkindness. We praise You and thank You. In Jesus' name, amen.