Genesis 1:1

Hey, Cross Connection Church! It is Father's Day, so welcome to church to you dads, moms, and everyone else. I'm just glad to see you all here today.

Today is Father's Day, and we're going to be talking about fathers and the roles and responsibilities that come with being a father. First of all, the office of father is not just about the biology of fatherhood. It's not merely the ability to create children that makes you a father. There are biblical principles and deeper meanings behind it. The office of father is a sacred duty of raising and training those we are entrusted with, so they have the opportunity to develop a lifelong, successful relationship with Jesus. In turn, they will do the same for the ones that God entrusts to them.

To simplify, fathers are called to raise Christians who raise Christians. As fathers, our outlook needs to be both eternal and temporal, meeting the temporal needs of our families with an eternal mindset. In Scripture, we see that marriage illustrates spiritual concepts and principles that are useful for everyone, even those who are not married. In the same way, fatherhood also serves this purpose. Just because you're not a dad, per se, doesn't mean you can't learn from what God teaches us about fatherhood. Mentors, big brothers or sisters, adoptive parents, and stepparents all swim in the same pool of fatherhood.

So when I say "father," yes, it is specific to dads, but it also applies to you as a follower of Jesus Christ. Moms, no sleeping on this, alright?

We're going to look primarily at three examples in Scripture. We'll examine God in the Garden of Eden, the prodigal son, and the father who came to Jesus with his demon-possessed son.

In the Garden, which you can find in Genesis chapters 1, 2, and 3, we see that God created a perfect, sin-free environment. He placed Adam and Eve in a structure with rules and limits. God provided them with what they needed, gave them a mission, and allowed them the opportunity to fail. He let them feel the consequences of their failure, but He also made a way for them to return to a right relationship with Him after they had failed.

So, with a perfect environment and under the instruction and direction of God Himself, how did this play out? Genesis chapter 3, verses 6 to 13 says, "The woman saw that the tree was good for food and delightful to look at, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom. So she took some of its fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked. So they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid from the Lord among the trees of the garden. So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, 'Where are you?' And he said, 'I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked.' And then He asked, 'Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?' The man replied, 'The woman you gave to me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.' So the Lord God asked the woman, 'What have you done?' And the woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'"

They had one rule in the garden, and they managed to break that one rule. So remember, when your kids, spouse, boss, employee, neighbor, or anyone else, including the guy on the freeway, fails, remember that failure is the default for humans. Ever since we had the opportunity to fail, we have failed. So don't be shocked when your kids fail. Adam and Eve failed, and they had God, the perfect Father, as their Father. Why would we expect a better track record than God?

Now, there are some definite consequences to the sin that happened there. These consequences are pretty dire. First of all, it changed their image of themselves. All of a sudden, they realized they were naked. They had been naked before, but it hadn't been a concept for them. So now we see that shame is introduced. It made them afraid of the one who loved them the most. All of a sudden, they were hiding from God. They learned to start trying to hide their behavior. It caused them to start blaming others for their actions. It resulted in them being separated emotionally, spiritually, and physically from their Heavenly Father.

Does this sound like modern family dynamics to anyone else? Hiding, shame, blaming others?

Why did this all come about? Because God allowed them to have free choice. Sometimes, as fathers, we try to eliminate all the poor or dangerous choices from our kids. The desire to protect and defend leads us to limit and remove certain choices from our kids' lives. This is done out of love and a desire to see them safe, and those are good things. However, we have to be careful that we don't eliminate the possibility of failure completely.

If we look at the story of Adam and Eve, it tells us one thing: even with a perfect father, kids are going to mess up. The greater task of a father is to make a way for repentance and restoration. We have a tendency to live in the role of lawgiver and judge sometimes, but we neglect the law of restorer.

This brings us to point one in your outline, if you're taking notes: God is in the business of restoration, and He is calling us to do that same work. We're going to look at this in two places in the New Testament. The first is the story of the prodigal son, which is found in Luke chapter 15, verses 11 to 32. I'm not going to read through the whole thing, but I will assume you are familiar with it. If you are not, feel free to pause and read that really quick.

Welcome back! So, the story is about a father who has two sons. The younger son wants his inheritance, and he wants it right now. This is kind of an issue because generally, you receive your inheritance when someone dies. Nevertheless, he goes to his father and says, "I want what's coming to me right now." This is insulting and immature, filled with all kinds of ugliness, but the father gives it to him.

The younger son then runs off with the cash. He goes far away and parties like a rockstar until the money is gone. Once the money is out, he takes off.

Now, here’s a question: do you think this was out of character for this son? Or maybe this son has been a handful for a while? Another thought to consider is: when was this son actually lost?

Was he lost when he left, or was that just a symptom of where his heart was previously? Some things to think about there.

So, the money runs out, and the son goes out and hires himself out to feed pigs. This is not a kosher choice, considering the first-century Jewish family context. This is not the desire of any parent. We don't want to see our kids suffer. We don't want to see our kids make sinful choices. But here's the secret: they are going to make sinful choices, and they're going to make bad decisions, just like us. Our desire to keep them from making sinful choices can sometimes lead us to go from parenting into prison guarding. This is why being a father is so difficult. We want success so badly for our kids, but our nature is failure.

This is why we have to learn to teach repentance and reconciliation. Remember, the charge is to lead our kids to Jesus, and they won't find Him until they need Him. Life is so bad for son number two at this point. He now looks at what the pigs are eating. He looks at the slop and thinks that looks pretty good; that would be a step up for my life right now.

What do you suppose the father is doing during this time? I'm betting he's watching and praying. This is our role as parents of adult or soon-to-be adult children. A lot of it shifts into watching and praying. This is why the time and the training, especially the modeling when they're younger, is so important. What we do when kids are younger will frame how they see life when they're older.

In Luke 15, verse 17, we see this beautiful interaction where it says, "But when he came to himself," the younger son comes to himself. He wakes back up; he's an expression of hope. When he awoke, he remembered his father's house. He remembered his father's conduct, his father's witness, his father's example, and he had a heart change. He decides that he's going to go home and try to be a servant in his father's house. He thinks to himself, "I'm not worthy of being a son."

Now remember, this is the son's opinion, and we learned from all the way back in Genesis that sin changes our image of Him and of ourselves. The sinful nature that he has decides, "I'm not worthy to be a son because of what I've done. I'm going to go back and I'm going to be a servant." Why? Look at what he says: "My father treats his servants better than the world treats me."

This brings us to point number two. If you're taking notes, your conduct will speak louder than your words in the minds and the memory of your children. Let me say that again: your conduct will speak louder than your words in the minds and the memory of your children. I remember what my dad did; I don't remember a lot of what my dad said. I usually remember what my dad said when it comes out of my mouth to my kids, but I remember what my dad did. I remember that my dad was super generous. If anybody needed something, he would give them the shirt off his back. He was very generous. I remember that. He never told me that; I watched that. Our conduct as parents speaks louder than our words in the minds and the memories of our kids.

So the son heads home. He's like, "You know what? I'm done with the pigs. I'm going home." While he was still far off, his father saw him. Now, why do you suppose he saw him when he was far off? He was looking for him. He ran to him and kissed him. The father's compassion led him to treat his son with love and not judgment. The son tries to make his case about being a servant, but the father celebrates a son's return, not a servant's. There's no lingering judgment, no suspicion, and no speech on the evils of his past conduct—just joy at his repentance.

This father's love is our highest calling: to work towards reconciliation and repentance with those whom God entrusts to us. Romans chapter two, verse four says, "Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint, and patience, not recognizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance. The father says, "For my son was dead, and now he's alive again. He was lost, and now he's found." I submit to you that he wasn't lost when he went away; he was lost before that.

But now that he's come home, he's found. This is a great spot to end this story. If we could just park there, it seems like everything's good. They're having a party and killing the fattened calf.

However, now we see the older son enter the picture. Son number one, the one who hasn't run away, the one who hasn't blown his inheritance on riotous living, as the Scripture puts it. He is the responsible one, the solid one, the good son. His reaction to the return of his brother is anger and bitterness, and he separates himself from his father. While everyone else is enjoying the party, he hangs out off to the side. His attitude is, "My behavior was better. I was compliant. I was helpful. I was obedient."

This brings us to point number three in our outline: ultimately, obedience is not the goal; repentance and restoration are. Let me say that again: ultimately, obedience is not the goal; repentance and restoration are. From his own words and behavior, we see that the good son doesn't understand this. Even though his actions are good, his heart is not. Despite having done everything right and followed the rules, his heart was still not right. He had confused doing the right things with truly being right in his heart. Goodness only comes from a right relationship with Jesus Christ; it doesn't come from obeying rules.

So, who is more lost? The son who went out, screwed everything up, and came home, or the son who is angry and bitter because he didn't screw anything up and yet now has this separation from his father? The law makes us aware of our shortcomings, but grace makes repentance accessible.

Like Miles said last week when he was teaching, if you didn't see it, go back; last week was fantastic, and I highly recommend it. Miles was talking about how Moses could only bring you as far as the Jordan, representing the law. It took Joshua, the picture of Jesus, to bring us into the promised land. The father never stopped believing that his son would return.

He never stopped watching. He celebrated the return, but he did not go out and rescue his son. He allowed his son the freedom to come to himself. An early rescue in that situation would short-circuit the process of reconciliation. It makes it easy for people to repent and return.

If we look at God's plan for saving His children, who does the heavy lifting? God does. God does the heavy lifting. He is the one who sent His Son to die on the cross so that our children could learn repentance and reconciliation, making that a part of who they are and becoming part of the family of God.

Now we're going to switch over to Mark chapter 9, starting in verse 17. A little bit of context for where this all happens: this is right after the Transfiguration. The Transfiguration is when Jesus goes up to the mountaintop and meets with Moses and Elijah, and a couple of the disciples are there. Jesus turns all shiny white, and the disciples are amazed, saying, "Wow, this is awesome." Peter suggests building some tabernacles to capture the moment. This occurs right after that awesome transformative moment where the disciples see Jesus glorified and are in awe.

They come down the hill and run into a big crowd. The crowd is a little angry, and there is an afraid father with a disturbed child. We pick up in verse 17 of Mark chapter 9, where someone from the crowd answers Him, saying, "Teacher, I brought my son to You, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams, grinds his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I asked Your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able."

Jesus answered them, "Oh, faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to Me." They brought the child to Jesus, and as soon as Jesus saw the child, he went into full crisis mode. He was rolling around, foaming at the mouth, convulsing. Verse 20 says, "They brought the boy to Him, and when the spirit saw Him, it immediately convulsed the boy. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth."

Jesus asked the father, "How long has this been happening to him?" The father replied, "From childhood. It has often cast him into the fire and the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."

This is a serious moment here. This kid needs help, and that's why they're there: so Jesus can heal the boy. But what does Jesus do? He asks questions of the father. "How long has this been happening?" The father responds, probably in desperation, "It throws him into the fire and the water. You gotta help us." He says, "If you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."

Jesus responds by repeating the father's words, saying, "If you can." Then he adds, "All things are possible to one who believes."

Point number four in your outline is that God will use issues with our families to show us issues in ourselves. I don't know if you have ever experienced this, where something happens in your family and God is saying, "Hey, that's an issue in you." It's not super comfortable, but it's good. God will use issues with our families to reveal issues in ourselves.

Jesus uses the situation with the child to highlight an issue with the father. The issue Jesus chooses to deal with first is the father's, not the son's. We might tend to look at the son's acute condition and see that as the greatest need. He's on the ground, foaming at the mouth, rolling around, and convulsing. But Jesus instead chooses to address an issue with the father.

The father is lacking faith and needs to acknowledge his need to Jesus. This brings us to one of my favorite interactions in the whole Bible. The father looks to Jesus and says, "I believe; help my unbelief." He acknowledges, "I believe, but I know I don't believe enough." This is the issue that Jesus addresses first.

Without Jesus, you can do all the right things, have all the right motivations, and even be a pretty good father as far as the world is concerned. However, the most pressing needs we have—though not always the ones we notice or see as most pressing—are spiritual. Without Jesus, we have no way of solving those.

Like some of you, probably during this extended social distancing and stay-at-home period, we took up gardening. One thing I can tell you about gardening is that I hate gophers. I unashamedly hate gophers. The thing I hate the most about gophers is that you can have plants that look beautiful until you start noticing the leaves are beginning to look a little dead around the edges. You go to check on the plant, pick it up, and find there’s no bottom to it; the roots are completely gone.

Without Jesus, you are, in effect, that plant. You can look good for a while, but there are no roots. There’s nothing down, nothing deep. If we don’t maintain a vital and growing relationship with Jesus, we won’t be equipped to deal with the problems that life throws at us. God may even engineer circumstances to bring us to a place where we have to admit, "I believe, but help my unbelief." Sometimes, it may even highlight areas in our lives where we need to repent and get right with Jesus. How can we lead people to a place that we won’t go? God will often use our children to show us ourselves and our shortcomings.

Getting back into the story, in verse 25, when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit and said to it, "You mutant deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." After crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse. Most of them said he is dead. So, Jesus casts out the evil spirit, and the child is on the ground, appearing dead.

Another thing we planted in our garden was potatoes. I will tell you this about growing potatoes: you don’t see any growth on the surface until there’s significant growth underneath. Sometimes, situations that seem dead and hopeless have something going on beneath the surface.

There are going to be times when life seems kind of hopeless. Notice this happens in this situation right after the father acknowledged his need for faith. Now the boy looks dead, but in verse 27, Jesus took him by the hand, lifted him up, and he arose. You see, the love of Jesus did what the father could not. This should bring us comfort and hope. Jesus is the one who works the miracle of restoration.

You cannot do the work of salvation for your kids any more than you could do the work of salvation for yourself. This is Jesus's job. If we recognize this, if we truly recognize this and keep it in the forefront of our minds as we raise our kids, it will help us to correctly point them to Jesus, the same Jesus that we so desperately need. Hebrews 12:2 says, "Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith."

The call to fathers is to raise disciples of Jesus, not just obedient children. The two are not necessarily exclusive of each other, but it is easy to confuse compliance with repentance. We need to focus on the need for a Savior because well-behaved does not necessarily mean saved.

From Genesis, we saw that God allowed the opportunity for failure and the need for repentance and restoration. From the Prodigal Son, we learned the importance of our conduct as parents in the lives of our children and how we need to make it easy for our kids to repent. From Mark 9, we learned that there will be issues that we cannot solve. Only Jesus can bring true healing and restoration. Notice the focus of all of these is repentance and restoration in Christ.

Let's pray. Heavenly Father, raising kids is difficult. So often we have no idea what we're doing, and yet at the same time, Jesus, if we look to you, you meet those needs. You meet those needs for us, Father, and you're going to meet those needs for our kids. Help us to do a good job of directing our children to you. Father, if we're in a place where we haven't directed ourselves to you, if we haven't reached out to you, Jesus, I pray that we would do that right now, even in the comfort of...

Our homes should be places where we can look to the Lord Jesus and say, "Help my unbelief." Most of all, Jesus, thank you. Thank you for doing the work of salvation that we could never do. Thank you for dying the death that we could never die so that we can live for you, Jesus. What a blessing and what an opportunity we have to make your fame known to future generations through how we live with our kids.

So, Father God, give us grace and give us opportunities. Forgive us where we fall short. Inspire us, Lord Jesus, as we raise our kids. Inspire us, Father God, especially for those of us who are grandparents raising kids, or for those who are aunts and uncles, adoptive parents, or big brothers and sisters. Whatever situation we find ourselves in, Lord, where we have people looking to us, give us inspiration and wisdom. Most of all, Jesus, help us to see and sense your presence as we do this. Thank you so much, Lord, for what you do for us. We pray these things in your name. Amen.

All right, Cross Connection. We, as a church, believe so much in the importance of raising kids to know Jesus that we are putting together tools to help parents disciple their kids and point them toward Jesus. Starting on July 5th, we will be launching our Family Discipleship Plan. This offers simple and easy ways to communicate the truths of what we believe as followers of Jesus.

You can register your family today for free at GetDiscipled.com. That's GetDiscipled.com. Sign up! We would love to get these resources into your hands. Parents, this is a great way to teach your kids about what we believe as Christians and why that is important.

All right. God bless you guys. Have a great Father's Day.