Happy & You Know It 4 | Happiness by Humility

We’re continuing our series here at Cross Connection in the book of Philippians called "Happy." Today, we’re considering that humility leads to happiness. So, open your Bibles and follow along with us in Philippians chapter 2.

Everything was perfect. Sometimes we say those same sort of words, but we realize that even in saying that, there are certain things around us or in our lives that make every situation not exactly and totally perfect. However, in this case, it was literally true. Everything was absolutely perfect. There was total peace and complete harmony. The weather was ideal, and there was always a sufficient amount of food, which makes things even more perfect. There was total joy and absolute abundance. There was no pain, no shame, no fear, and no regret. Sounds good, doesn’t it? It sounds like the place we’d all like to be.

She had been gazing at it for a while. In many ways, it just consumed her attention. She couldn’t move her eyes from it. She looked at the way it just sat there in the light. Her husband was just off to the side tending the garden. She said, "Don’t you just wonder what it tastes like? I mean, it looks so good. It can’t really be that bad; it probably tastes really good."

He casually replied as he was working, saying that they weren’t supposed to eat it and that it would kill them. "If I were you, I wouldn’t even touch it. Stay away from it," he cautioned as he walked over to a stream to wash his hands. Then, from the side, she heard a voice.

You will not die. She moved her attention over to see a snake. For you and I, that would be strangely odd; it would probably startle us a little bit. But surprisingly, it didn't startle her at all. "You will not die. He knows that the day you eat of it, you will be like him. You'll be like God, knowing good and evil."

She turned back to gaze at the fruit once again. It looked so good; it probably tasted good. And now, that last little bit of information—when you eat of it, you shall be like God—compelled her. So she took and she ate. Something did, in fact, change. It tasted so delicious; it had the perfect consistency and the right amount of sweetness in every possible way. It was so good that she couldn't help but give it also to her husband, and he ate as well.

It was true; their eyes were opened in that moment. New experiences flooded in, but it was not the experience they anticipated. It was a foreign experience, something they had never had before, and it was uncomfortable. All of a sudden, there was a sudden coldness on their faces but a heat around their necks. Their hearts began to beat a little faster, and there was a feeling of vulnerability, a feeling of nakedness, an entering end of shame, fear, and regret.

Just then, their eyes met as they heard another voice in the garden. Without saying a word, they knew what they needed to do: hide. By the end of that day, all that was perfect, formerly all that was just right—all the joy, all the liberty, all the guiltlessness—was gone. It was replaced with fear, regret, shame, and pain. All was lost as the result of something so very simple: pride.

Pride had entered in. "Eat of it, and you will be like God." When she saw that it was beautiful to look upon, and when she understood that it was delicious, and when she found that she could receive wisdom from it, she took and ate of the fruit. She also gave it to her husband.

Point number one on your outline, if you have your sermon guide handy: Pride is the fastest path to peril. Pride is the fastest path to peril in every aspect of life. This is proven over and over again to be true. The Proverbs are so clear. Proverbs chapter 13, verse 10 says, "Through pride always is contention." Pride leads to conflict. How many of you know that this is the case? You've experienced that. Pride leads to conflict.

Throughout the Bible, we find this truth driven home time and time again. God hates pride. It's almost surprising to hear that, but the Bible declares that God hates pride. It is detestable to God. The words that are used are things like "abomination." Pride leads to conflict, and pride also leads to the loss of joy and the loss of happiness.

In thinking about that, it's interesting to consider: If pride leads to the loss of happiness, is it possible that the opposite of pride, humility, can bring about restoration? Would you open your Bibles to the book of Philippians in the New Testament? If you don't have your Bible this morning, raise your hand, and one of the ushers will bring you one. Philippians is in the back of your Bible, right after the books of Galatians and Ephesians.

Would you stand with me? We're going to read from Philippians chapter 2 this morning, beginning at verse 1. The author of this book, Saint Paul, writes this: "Therefore, if there is any consolation in Christ..."

Any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, and being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Let this mind

I would say that at the root of just about every conflict, there is ultimately pride. As Paul continues to write to the Christians in the city of Philippi, he encourages and strengthens them with words that are also an encouragement and strength to us 2,000 years later. He tells them that he wants them to work toward the opposite of the things that those who sow discord and contention work toward. He urges them to step away from selfish ambition and pride.

In Philippians chapter two, we just read together, verse one states, "Therefore, if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy." Paul says that if you have experienced, as a Christian, the benefits of the gospel of Jesus—if your life has experienced encouragement and comfort, and if you have felt the joining together and community that exists in Christ because of the Spirit of God working in your life—then you should reflect on these things.

If we were to update it in our language, we might say, "If your overall well-being has been better since you became a Christian, how many of you would say yes, that's true?" If that's you, if your overall well-being has improved since you became a follower of Jesus, then Paul says, "Here's what you are to do." In verse two, he writes, "Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind."

He says that if your life in Christ has been changed for the better, then here's how you should respond. As a declaration of your changed life in Christ, he says to work for his joy. That's literally what he says. The New Living Translation puts it as, "Make me truly happy." If you've experienced an overall increase or betterment of your well-being as a Christian, then he says, "Make me truly happy."

How? By being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind. It's a simple request, but it seems kind of odd. Paul is saying that because you are a Christian and because the gospel of Jesus Christ has transformed your life for the better, you should make him happy. You might wonder why he would say that, as it seems almost self-focused and selfish. However, the reality is, as we will see as we continue through this passage today and other passages over the next several weeks, there is a deeper understanding behind his request.

In doing the things that Paul says to do in this passage and applying the very clear truths that he teaches, not only does it increase his joy, but it also increases the overall joy of all those within the body of Christ. As we considered a verse last week from the Apostle John in his third letter in the New Testament, Third John, verse 4, he says, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in the truth." Paul says here, "I want you to walk in the truth," and that is going to make me happy. However, it's also going to increase your joy. Your experience of happiness is going to increase if you do the things mentioned in this passage.

So, point number two on your outline is a very simple point: we as Christians ought to work for the joy of others. We all recognize that we live in a wonderful nation, a nation that has experienced incredible and unprecedented abundance. One of the values of our nation is the pursuit of happiness. We've talked about this many times before, but we highly value this idea, this concept of the pursuit of happiness, which in our day comes across in this way: you need to do whatever makes you happy.

I felt compelled to watch Diane Sawyer's interview with Bruce Jenner on Hulu this past week. Some of you may know about the whole scenario and the things happening with this individual. It was a very interesting interview, to be quite honest with you. What stood out was that every one of Bruce Jenner's family members or friends interviewed basically said the same thing: "We just want Bruce to be happy. He should follow whatever makes him happy."

That's the world and the culture we live in today. We are told to follow whatever makes us happy at every level of our society here in the United States of America in the 21st century. Individually, all 330 million plus of us in this nation are encouraged to pursue whatever makes us happy. However, I am here to tell you today that biblically, that's a different perspective.

Bad philosophy and a rule to live by that is biblically unsound is indeed a bad philosophy or rule to live by. Even in saying that, there may be some of you now who are questioning how I could say such a thing. I mean, we all should be pursuing our own happiness, right? But have you ever noticed that most pursuits for your own happiness often come at the expense of other people's happiness?

You see, for me to lay hold of, or to win, or to gain happiness, it means that somebody else needs to lose. Let me put it to you this way: this week, another very interesting spectacle occurred in our nation, one that happens every single year around this time—the NFL Draft. There are hundreds of eligible college football players ready to step into the limelight of the NFL. A very small percentage of those who play Pop Warner and then play high school football will ever get the chance to play at the college level, especially at the Division One level, perhaps in the SEC, the Southeastern Conference, or the Pac-10, or one of these big conferences within college football.

All of these players are looking forward to one thing, and it comes down to this at the end of April every year: the NFL Draft. They are all hoping to be selected in the first round, and hopefully even as the first pick of the first round. People are talking about who will take that position. No one wants to go in the sixth or seventh round. For that person looking to become the quarterback, the next big star, who has won the Heisman and seems to have everything going for them, they want to win that spot. But they know that for them to be happy, other people need to lose.

In so many pursuits for happiness in our nation, that is the reality. Pursuing my happiness often means that someone else needs to experience a loss. Ultimately, that is not a happy world to live in. However, the Bible prescribes something totally different, which is contrary to our way of thinking in the culture in which we were all raised. The Bible says that we need to be those who work for the joy of others.

In fact, the Apostle Paul, the author of this letter, in another letter that he wrote, specifically in Second Corinthians chapter one, verse 24, states that he is a worker for the joy of others. Now, you might say, "Well, I thought he was an apostle. I thought he was one preaching the gospel." Yes, he was doing all of those things, sent with a message by Jesus, but he emphasizes that he is a worker for the joy of others.

Others in sharing the gospel impart the gospel of peace to others. He knew that this would result in their joy increasing. However, following the prideful act that brought about the fall in Genesis chapter 3, we live in a world filled with selfish ambition and prideful pursuits for personal happiness. This is the context in which all of us have lived our lives—a world overly filled with selfish ambition.

The Bible reveals that the path that leads to joy is contrary to that. In fact, the path filled with selfish ambition and the pursuit of personal happiness leads to peril. The question is, how do we work for the joy of others? What can we do to increase the joy of other people?

Let’s look at how Paul continues in Philippians chapter 2, verse 3: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." Paul gives us four simple steps in this verse on how you and I can work for the joy of others, which ultimately, as the Scriptures reveal, will result in our own increase of joy as well. This is the awesome thing about the pursuit of other people's joy—it results in our own increase of joy too.

Before we break these steps apart, I want you to understand that one of the interesting things about the Bible is that some of the easiest truths to understand are the hardest truths to apply. Paul says to work for the joy of other people. How? Well, number one: don't be selfish.

How many of you in your life have used those almost exact words in dealing with your own children? "Don't be selfish." I have a six-year-old, a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and an almost two-year-old, and you can see the reality of the fallenness of humanity and the selfishness of every single one of us.

From the youngest of ages, the Bible says, "Don't be selfish." Is there anything more contrary to our nature after the fall? These three simple words—don't be selfish—are clear and straightforward. You do not need an advanced theological degree to interpret them. You don't need a Strong's Greek dictionary to figure out what it means when it says, "No selfish ambition." It simply is this: don't be selfish.

Yes, I know some translations express it with more words, saying, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition." But if you boil it down, it’s simply this: don't be selfish. If you want to work for the joy of others, which will also increase your joy in doing so, the first thing we need to apply is to not be selfish.

The second thing is found in the simple phrase in verse two: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit." The second principle we need to adopt is to not live to impress others. We live in a society that is all about hoping that other people will see how cool and how awesome our lives are. How do I know? We have Instagram and Facebook to post our pictures. Every smile gets posted, and we want everyone to see how great our lives are.

This desire to impress others has resulted in an actual disorder identified by the American Psychiatric Association called "Facebook depression." In this condition, you see other people's seemingly perfect lives and realize your life feels inadequate in comparison. Your overall happiness decreases because that person posted a much better picture than you could, and they look like they are having a great time.

We live our lives trying to impress others, constantly trying to one-up each other. I experienced this a few years ago in a very interesting way. It came so subtly, as it always does. I was trying to get back into running, which I feel like I am always trying to do. I noticed that a number of my...

Pastor friends were posting their Nike Plus running stats every single time they would run, so I started doing the same thing. Then, I felt this strange compulsion to run farther and faster because I had to one-up them and show them. I had to impress them. You know what? That's not a happy life, so I had to just stop doing that.

Paul says if you want to work for the joy of others, it will result in your overall increase of joy. Also, don't be selfish and don't live to impress others; don't live for vain glory. The third step he gives here in verse three is to let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility and lowliness. The third one is to be humble.

Now, it's interesting because in our Western culture, we have been given the view that humility, or being humble, is actually the contrary path to happiness. In fact, if you live your life trying to be humble and exercise humility, you're actually not going to be happy. That's the message we're being told by our culture because then your self-esteem is going to decrease; you're going to have low self-esteem.

But here's the interesting thing you find when you begin to delve into the Scriptures: we need to understand that humility isn't thinking less of yourself, as in having a terrible view of how pitiful you are. It's thinking about yourself less. There's a small nuanced difference there. It's not thinking less of yourself, like saying, "I'm so terrible and pitiful and hopeless," although that might be true. It's thinking about yourself less.

The fact is, none of us think about ourselves less. In fact, if you go on Instagram later, you're going to look at that picture for yourself and determine whether or not it's a good or bad picture based on how you look in it, right? Isn't that how we all are? You could have 40 people in a picture, and everybody looks great, but if you're the one person who got caught halfway through a smile, you might feel disappointed.

It's a terrible picture. Get rid of the picture because I don't look very good in that picture. You've been there, and I have too. We have this inherent difficulty in not thinking about ourselves a lot. How can we possibly do that?

Well, the fourth step that Paul gives us in this passage is the important step to help us do this, and so it's point number three on your outline: honor others above yourself. He says, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself."

You see, to be humble, you don't need to put yourself down; you just need to lift others up. Let me say that again because I think it's very important: to be humble, you don't need to put yourself down; you actually need to just lift others up. The interesting thing is that people who constantly put themselves down actually have a bigger pride problem. It's false humility. They say, "Oh, I'm so bad," "Oh, I'm so pitiful," "Oh, I'm so ugly," "Oh, I'm so fat," so that they can get other people to say, "Oh no, you're not. You're so wonderful!"

How can I do these things, not be selfish, and not live to impress others? How can I be humble? Well, simply honor others above yourself. I recognize that even the desire to do this is hard for us, and so I'm really grateful for that.

Next week, we're going to be looking at one of my favorite verses in the whole Bible: Philippians chapter 2, verse 13. It says, "For it is God who works in you to will and to do His good pleasure." It is God who is working in you and in me to desire to even do this because, at the end of the day, we just don't desire to lift others above ourselves.

In not only Philippians chapter 2, verse 13, but also in several weeks, Philippians chapter 4, verse 13 says, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength," through Christ who gives me strength. Paul reveals that we need to work for the joy of others, and in working for the joy of others, it will mean the overall increase of our joy as well. The overall experience of our happiness will grow.

We work for the joy of others. Now, like I said, this is counter to the weak culture that we live in, which says you need to seek and pursue your happiness. However, if you are focused on seeking and pursuing your happiness, it will ultimately destroy both your happiness and the happiness of others. On the other hand, if you're working for the joy of others, it will increase both yours and theirs. We achieve this by not being selfish, by not being conceited, by being humble, and by honoring others above ourselves.

Paul continues in Philippians 2:4, stating, "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests but for the interests of others." This is a simple truth; you don't need an advanced theological degree to interpret it. Let me read it to you in another version because I love the way the New Living Translation translates it. The J.B. Phillips translation says, "None of you should think only of his own affairs, but you should learn to see things from other people's point of view."

Now, how many of you have watched, even if you may not want to admit it, one of those news and commentary shows on CNN, MSNBC, or Fox News? In those shows, you have opposing ideas presented, and they claim to be fair and balanced while arguing and yelling at each other. As they do, they get louder and louder. That is not seeking to see things from the other person's point of view.

When my wife first came into my life and became a part of my family, she experienced a shock, like jumping into freezing cold water. You see, in my family, the Benedictus family—maybe it's the Italian side from my dad or the German side from my mom, I don't know—I just know that it's a reality in my family. Perhaps you've experienced this in yours. When we gather as a family, the overall volume increases more and more because of the way we communicate. We don't let the other person talk; we just get louder and louder. My wife's first experience of this was when we would go away together. She would say, "I don't really like that; it's so rude and obnoxious." She comes from one of those civil families where you talk, and I listen, and then I respond.

Talk and you listen. It's so sweet and civil. It's just not true for Benedictus. She has learned that you just have to be louder and more forceful to get your point across. It's true; I'm not making things up. We live in a contentious and divisive time.

Here's the difficulty for us, and something we need to understand if you're a Christian today. If you're not a Christian, I would say this would be helpful for you as well. It's a simple point: if we're going to promote and seek joy, then we must seek peace more than victory.

Listen, I'm a very competitive person. I thought I was extremely competitive until I met my wife. I'm not throwing her under the bus; she just comes from a competitive family. They're civil and nice, but they're a competitive family. Her dad was a head football coach at San Marcos High School, her uncle was a head football coach at Mission Hills High School, and her cousin was a head football coach at Torrey Pines High School. They're a little bit competitive. Board games are not a good idea because we're competitive.

If you don't believe me, look at the back of your sermon guide. We won! Actually, Alternative won, and that's wonderful, but it still says Cross Connection first place. I just want you to know that.

Anyways, sorry, I digress. Let me try to be spiritual again. We are, by nature, competitive, and we want to win. We love to win, and we hate to lose. The problem is that we carry that mindset over into our Christianity. When we're sharing the gospel of peace with other people, sometimes we want to beat them with our Bibles so they get it. Do you ever feel that way? Boy, I do. We want to be victorious in this.

We have this crusader mindset where we feel we must get others to believe. I understand where that comes from; I understand the desire to see people turn to Christ. It is a good thing to desire that people would turn to Him. However, I have to remind myself from time to time that our Lord is called the Prince of Peace. He said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God." Therefore, we need to seek peace.

The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans chapter 12, verse 18, "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live at peace with all people." He reiterated this point in Romans chapter 14, verse 19: "Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may be edified." Although I may instinctively be driven by a desire to win, I need to seek peace more than victory. We must recognize and understand that Jesus won the ultimate victory, and the way He achieved that victory is instructive for us.

How did He win? Look at Philippians chapter 2, verse 5: "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God. But He made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

Jesus is victorious, and His path to victory is so counter to the way I would think. It is counterintuitive to my fallen mind. If I were God—though that is a scary thought—and we were going to reveal ourselves to creation, how might we do that? I would think to show up and cause them all to bow to me. I am the Creator, and I would reveal myself in great pomp and circumstance in every possible way.

He didn't do that. Being in the form of God, He did not consider that position something He needed to hold on to with a death grip. Instead, He willingly took the lower road, making Himself of no reputation. If you were God, if I were God, and we were going to reveal ourselves to all creation, we would come with great reputation. However, He made Himself willingly of no reputation.

Then, He humbled Himself further. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. If we are to promote and experience joy, then point number five is to follow the path of Jesus. Now, I am not in any way saying that this is an easy path; it's actually quite difficult. It is completely counter to everything that goes on in our fallen, sinful nature.

To follow this path that Jesus reveals, this path that He has called us to, He lowered Himself not only by stepping down from His position in heaven to earth as a little baby child born into a very poor family, but He also grew among that family. He lowers Himself and then submits Himself even further to be a servant, ultimately being crucified by His own creation—the very ones to whom He gave life and breath. He submits Himself to crucifixion at their hands. That is not the way that you and I, if we were God, would reveal ourselves and handle this whole situation.

Yet, if we're going to seek and promote joy, then we need to follow the path of Jesus. As you look at this and consider this path—down and down and down—you may wonder how this is possibly the path to happiness. How is this possibly the path that leads to joy?

Look at verses 9 through 11 in Philippians chapter 2: "Therefore, because of that, God has also highly exalted Him. God the Father has highly exalted Jesus and given Him a name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and those on earth, and those under the earth. Every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord."

Glory of the Father. Point number six on your outline, and we finish with this: If we're going to promote and experience joy, then seek the honor of God more than man. Again, I'm not in any way saying that this is simple or easy, but it's what the Scriptures reveal. If I'm going to experience, extend, and promote joy, then I need to seek the honor of God more than man.

Now, we live in a culture, in a day where we're constantly trying to promote ourselves, seeking the honor of man. Although you might experience some level of happiness in that moment when they say, "And the Oscar goes to," or "The promotion goes to," or whatever it is, in that moment, you might receive the adulation of humanity, but it's temporal. It's just for this small fraction of a nanosecond, and then it's gone.

That was one of the interesting things if you watch that interview with Bruce Jenner. He talks about how he won the gold in 1976 at the Olympics. He won the decathlon and was called by everyone the greatest athlete in the world. By the end of the day, all he wanted to do was cry. That was it; it was gone. So, if we're going to experience and extend joy, we must seek the honor of God more than man. It's all a question of who you'd rather be exalted by.

Jesus taught exaltation by humility. He said this in Luke chapter 14: When you go to a party or you're invited to be a guest at a wedding, don't seat yourself at the highest seat of the highest table unless the master of ceremonies comes and says, "Randy, that's not your seat; please come over here. This is actually where you're supposed to sit." He says, rather, be seated at the lowest table so that when the master of ceremonies comes in and says, "No, no, no, that's not where we want you to sit; come and sit up here," then he applies the teaching in this way: Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

Exalted Jesus taught exaltation by humility, and He lived exaltation by humility. Philippians chapter 2 reveals it: He humbled Himself, and God has exalted Him. The Apostle James teaches this also in James chapter 4, verse 10. He says, "Humble yourselves in the sight of God, and the Lord will lift you up."

Listen, brothers and sisters, pride is the fastest path to peril and the loss of joy. We have seen that throughout society in the world in which we live. In a fallen world, we are being told by our culture that we need to pursue our happiness. However, innately, we know that by pursuing our happiness, it will mean the lessening of happiness for other people. Ultimately, that is not the kind of world we want to live in.

Paul says we are workers for the joy of others. We are endeavoring to increase the joy of all humanity, and I believe that ultimately comes from the gospel of Jesus Christ. One of the fruits of the Spirit, one of the results of the work of the Spirit of God, is joy increasing, as we talked about last Tuesday night here at the church.

So, how do we work for the joy of others? We honor others above ourselves, seek peace more than victory, follow the path of Jesus, and seek the honor of God more than man. Amen.

Now, as I said, these are hard things. Let’s stand and pray that God will enable us by His grace to do them. Father God, thank You that that which is impossible with us is possible with You. Though we can do nothing apart from You, we can do all things by You, Jesus, who gives us strength.

As we work out our salvation this week, would You work in us to desire to seek honor from You more than from man? Would You work in us to desire to seek peace more than winning and victory? Would You work in us to honor others above ourselves and, Lord, to follow the path of humility that You revealed, so that we would see joy abound?

Lord, help us to be workers for the joy of our brothers and sisters within the body of Christ, but also workers for the joy of those who don't yet know You, as we share the truth of who You are in the gospel of peace.

God, transform us by the renewing of our minds. Enable us to do what we cannot do of ourselves. We ask this in Jesus' name, and all those that agreed.