Happy & You Know It 4 | Happiness by Humility

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant... He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name... that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of the Father. (Philippians 2:1–11)

In a culture that tells you to chase your own happiness, the path to joy runs straight down—through humility.

A Perfect World, Lost

Everything was perfect. We sometimes use those words loosely, knowing there are always things that keep a situation from being totally perfect. But in this case it was literally true. There was total peace, complete harmony, ideal weather, sufficient food, total joy, and absolute abundance. There was no pain, no shame, no fear, and no regret. It sounds like the place we'd all like to be.

She had been gazing at the fruit for a while; it consumed her attention. Her husband was off to the side tending the garden. "Don't you wonder what it tastes like?" she said. "It looks so good—it can't really be that bad." He answered casually as he worked, "We're not supposed to eat it. It would kill us. If I were you, I wouldn't even touch it."

Then, from the side, she heard a voice: "You will not die." She turned and saw a snake. Strangely, it didn't startle her. "He knows that the day you eat of it, you'll be like Him. You'll be like God, knowing good and evil." She turned back to the fruit. It looked so good. And now this last bit of information: you shall be like God. So she took and ate. It tasted delicious, perfect in every way—so good she gave it to her husband, and he ate too.

Shame Floods In

It was true—their eyes were opened. But it was not the experience they anticipated. A sudden coldness came over their faces, a heat around their necks; their hearts began to beat faster. There was a feeling of vulnerability, of nakedness, an entering in of shame, fear, and regret. Their eyes met as they heard another voice in the garden, and without a word they knew what they needed to do: hide.

By the end of that day all that was perfect, all the joy, all the liberty, all the guiltlessness, was gone—replaced with fear, regret, shame, and pain. All was lost as the result of something so very simple: pride. "Eat of it and you will be like God." Genesis 3 says that when she saw the fruit was beautiful, understood it was delicious, and found she could receive wisdom from it, she took and ate, and gave it also to her husband.

Pride Is the Fastest Path to Peril

This is point number one: pride is the fastest path to peril. In every aspect of life this is proven over and over to be true. The Proverbs are clear:

By pride comes nothing but strife. (Proverbs 13:10)

Pride leads to conflict—how many of us have experienced that? Throughout the Bible this truth is driven home again and again. It's almost surprising to hear, but Scripture declares that God hates pride. To God it is detestable; the words used are things like abomination. Pride leads to conflict, and it also leads to the loss of joy and happiness.

So it's worth asking: if pride leads to the loss of happiness, is it possible that the opposite of pride—humility—can bring about a restoration?

Work for the Joy of Others

In the previous section of this letter, Paul wrote about those within the church—not just 2,000 years ago but today—who bring division and discord, who cause contention and break down the unity we have as Christians. At the root of this strife is what Paul calls selfish ambition. At the root of nearly every conflict is ultimately pride.

As Paul continues, he encourages the Philippians to work toward the opposite of what those who sow discord work toward—to step away from selfish ambition and pride. He writes, "Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy." In other words: if your overall well-being has been better since you became a Christian, here's what you should do—"fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind." The New Living Translation says, "make me truly happy."

That seems odd at first, almost self-focused. Why would Paul say that? But as we'll see, doing these things not only increases his joy—it increases the joy of all those in the body of Christ. As John wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in the truth" (3 John 4). Paul says: walk in the truth, and it will make me happy—and your own experience of happiness will increase too.

So point number two: we as Christians ought to work for the joy of others.

A Bad Philosophy to Live By

We live in a nation that has experienced incredible abundance, and one of its core values is the pursuit of happiness. In our day this comes across as: do whatever makes you happy. I felt compelled this week to watch Diane Sawyer's interview with Bruce Jenner. What stood out was that every family member and friend interviewed basically said the same thing: "We just want Bruce to be happy. He should follow whatever makes him happy." That's the culture we live in—330 million of us being told to pursue whatever makes us happy.

But biblically, that's a bad philosophy to live by. Some may ask, how could you say that? Here's why: most pursuits of your own happiness come at the expense of someone else's. For me to win or gain happiness, someone else has to lose.

Consider another spectacle that happens every year—the NFL draft. Hundreds of eligible college players hope to step into the limelight, dreaming of being the first pick of the first round. But for one quarterback to win that spot, others must lose. So much of the pursuit of happiness in our nation works that way, and ultimately that's not a happy world to live in.

The Bible prescribes something totally different. Paul, in another letter, calls himself a worker for the joy of others: "Not that we have dominion over your faith, but are fellow workers for your joy" (2 Corinthians 1:24). In imparting the gospel of peace, he knew their joy would increase. Following the prideful act that brought about the fall, we live in a world overfilled with selfish ambition—but the path that leads to joy is contrary to that.

Four Steps to Work for the Joy of Others

How do we work for the joy of others? Paul gives four simple steps: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself" (Philippians 2:3). One of the interesting things about the Bible is that some of the easiest truths to understand are the hardest to apply.

First, don't be selfish. How many of us have used those exact words with our own children? I have a six-year-old, a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and an almost two-year-old, and you can see the fallenness and selfishness of humanity from the youngest of ages. Is there anything more contrary to our nature after the fall than these three words? You don't need an advanced theological degree to interpret them.

Second, don't live to impress others. We live in a society obsessed with having others see how cool and awesome our lives are—Instagram, Facebook, every smile posted. This has even produced an actual disorder the psychiatric community calls "Facebook depression," where you see other people's awesome lives and realize yours seems to suck in comparison, and your happiness decreases. I experienced this subtly a few years ago. Trying to get back into running, I noticed pastor friends posting their Nike+ stats, so I started doing the same—then felt a compulsion to run farther and faster just to one-up them and impress them. That's not a happy life, so I had to stop.

Third, be humble. In our Western culture we've been told that humility is the path away from happiness, because it lowers your self-esteem. But here's what you find in Scripture: humility isn't thinking less of yourself—as in having a terrible, pitiful view of yourself—it's thinking about yourself less. The difficulty is that none of us naturally think about ourselves less. When you look at a group photo, you judge whether it's a good picture based on how you look in it. We have an inherent difficulty in not thinking about ourselves.

Honor Others Above Yourself

That brings us to point number three—the fourth and key step: honor others above yourself. "Let each esteem others better than himself." To be humble you don't need to put yourself down; you just need to lift others up. People who constantly put themselves down actually have a bigger pride problem—it's false humility: "Oh, I'm so bad, so ugly, so fat," fishing for others to say, "No, you're so wonderful."

The desire to do this is hard for us, which is why I'm grateful for what's coming next week: "It is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13). God works in us even the desire to lift others above ourselves. And later we'll see, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).

This is counter to a weak culture that says, "Seek and pursue your own happiness." But pursuing your own happiness destroys both your happiness and the happiness of others, while working for the joy of others increases both.

Seek Peace More Than Victory

Paul continues: "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4). The J.B. Phillips translation puts it beautifully: "None of you should think only of his own affairs, but you should learn to see things from other people's point of view."

How many of us have watched those news commentary shows where opposing sides argue and yell, getting louder and louder? That's not seeking the other person's point of view. When my wife first joined my family, she got a shock. In the DeBenedictus family—maybe the Italian side from my dad, maybe the German side from my mom—when we gather, the volume just increases, because we don't let each other finish; we just get louder. She came from a civil family where you talk and I listen, then I talk and you listen. She's had to learn that with the DeBenedictuses, you just have to be louder.

We live in a contentious time, and here's the difficulty for us: point number four—seek peace more than victory. I'm a very competitive person, and then I met my wife, who comes from a very competitive (but civil) family of head football coaches. Board games are not a good idea in our house. By nature we love to win and hate to lose, and the problem is we carry that mindset into our Christianity. When sharing the gospel of peace, sometimes we want to beat people with our Bibles so they "get it." We adopt a crusader mindset.

But our Lord is called the Prince of Peace, and He said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." Paul wrote, "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men" (Romans 12:18), and again, "Let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another" (Romans 14:19). So although I'm instinctively given to wanting to win, I need to seek peace more than victory.

Follow the Path of Jesus

We need to recognize how Jesus won the ultimate victory—because His path is so instructive. "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant... He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

Point number five: follow the path of Jesus. His path to victory is counterintuitive to my fallen mind. If you or I were God revealing ourselves to creation, we would show up in great pomp and circumstance and cause everyone to bow. He didn't do that. Being in the form of God, He did not consider that position something to hold onto with a death grip; He willingly took the lower road, making Himself of no reputation. He lowered Himself—stepping down from heaven to be born as a baby into a poor family, then submitting Himself as a servant, then to be crucified by His own creation, the very ones to whom He gave life and breath.

This is not an easy path; it's completely counter to our fallen nature. But if we're going to seek and promote joy, we must follow it.

Seek the Honor of God More Than Man

How is this downward path the way to joy? Look at the result: "Therefore God has also highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow... and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of the Father" (Philippians 2:9–11).

Point number six: seek the honor of God more than man. We live in a day where we constantly try to promote ourselves, seeking the honor of man. You might experience happiness in the moment when "the Oscar goes to..." or the promotion comes—but it's temporal, gone in a nanosecond. In that Bruce Jenner interview, he describes winning gold in the 1976 Olympics, being called the greatest athlete in the world—and by the end of the day, all he wanted to do was cry. It's gone.

It's all a question of who you'd rather be exalted by. Jesus taught exaltation by humility. In Luke 14 He said: when invited to a wedding, don't take the highest seat, lest the host move you down; instead take the lowest place, so the host can say, "Friend, come up higher." Then He applied it: "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." James 4:10 says the same: "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up."

Brothers and sisters, pride is the fastest path to peril and the loss of joy. Our culture tells us to pursue our own happiness, but you know innately that doing so lessens the happiness of others—and that's not the kind of world you want to live in. Paul says we are workers for the joy of others, endeavoring to increase the joy of all humanity, which ultimately comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, for one of the fruits of the Spirit is joy. So how do we work for the joy of others? Honor others above yourself, seek peace more than victory, follow the path of Jesus, and seek the honor of God more than man. Amen.

Closing Prayer

Father God, thank You that what is impossible with us is possible with You. Though we can do nothing apart from You, we can do all things through Jesus who gives us strength. As we work out our salvation this week, would You work in us to desire the honor that comes from You more than from man. Would You work in us to desire peace more than winning and victory. Would You work in us to honor others above ourselves, and Lord, to follow the path of humility that You revealed, that we would see joy abound. Help us to be workers for the joy of our brothers and sisters within the body of Christ, but also workers for the joy of those who don't yet know You as we share the truth of who You are in the gospel of peace. God, transform us by the renewing of our minds; enable us to do what we cannot do of ourselves. We ask this in Jesus' name, and all those who agreed said, Amen.