Reconciled | Sunday, May 2, 2021
May 1, 2021 · Pastor Miles DeBenedictis
In this teaching
Building on the church's vision of "life in connection," Pastor Miles teaches that human beings were created for connection with both God and one another, but sin in Genesis 3 produced separation, division, isolation, and loneliness. Reconciliation comes only through the blood of Christ (the gospel) and is lived out within the body of Christ (the church), where we practically connect with God and others.
- We were created for connection with God; that connection, lost through the fall, is restored only through Christ's reconciling work (2 Corinthians 5; Romans 5).
- We were also created for connection with one another, as seen in God's words "it is not good that man should be alone" — marriage and community are matters of creation, not socialization.
- Culture's message of "solo polyamory" and autonomy is at odds with a record-high crisis of loneliness and is ultimately unsustainable.
- Division and isolation entered the world through sin in Genesis 3; our own efforts to fix the brokenness only make it worse.
- The path of reconciliation is the gospel (the blood of Christ); the place of reconciliation is the church (the body of Christ), per Ephesians 2.
- We practically connect with God through Scripture, prayer, worship, communion, baptism, serving, and giving — and with one another through fellowship, serving, worship, prayer, and care.
Readable is a lightly edited reading copy; Verbatim stays close to the spoken words. The audio and video are the record of what was said.
For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which is lost. ()
For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. ()
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us... For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. (, 10)
We were made for connection with God and one another — and only Christ can reconcile what sin has broken.
Jesus Came on a Reconciliation Mission
I'm rarely shocked by the shifts in our culture, though occasionally I'm surprised. As we continue our focus on connection here at Cross Connection Church, our vision is life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus. In previous messages I spoke about the purpose of the church and of human beings as God's creation. We were created to be in connection with God, to experience perfect communion with Him. Yet because of the rebellious fall written about in , we are all disconnected from Him.
We desire connection with something transcendent, but in our own strength we cannot achieve the connection we seek. That is why Jesus came. His mission is articulated in a dozen or more purpose statements in Scripture. In , a theme verse of Luke's gospel, He says, "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which is lost." This came from the story of Zacchaeus the tax collector, whom Jesus met in Jericho. When the crowds were upset that He would interact with such a sinful man, Jesus declared His purpose.
Another clear expression of His mission is found in : "For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." And in He says, "I have come that you may have life, and that you may have it more abundantly." Jesus came on a reconnection mission.
Reconciled Through the Blood of Christ
The apostle Paul writes in that God the Father was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself. Ultimately, though we want to be connected with God, full reconciliation is not possible apart from Jesus's reconciling work, because our sin creates a gulf we cannot cross by our own strength. Using that same word translated "reconciling," Paul writes in that "when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son."
We are reconciled to God through Jesus. The connection to transcendence that every human being desires is possible — I would say only possible — in Christ, because ultimate connection is not fully realized until we are present with God in eternity. King David wrote 3,000 years ago in , "In Your presence is fullness of joy, and at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." That fullness of joy is what we were created for, and it will be experienced when we are at His right hand forever.
Created for Connection With One Another
This connection to transcendence is what we were made for, but it isn't the only thing we desire. At a fundamental level we also desire connection with one another.
In preparation for this message I came across a recent essay published in the New York Times by a young African-American woman named Haley Blasengame. In it she described a recent breakup with her boyfriend of five years and how, during the pandemic shutdowns, she had realized she identifies as what she calls a "solo polyamorous" individual. She doesn't want to be joined to just one person; she cherishes and prioritizes autonomy and preservation of self. A monogamous relationship, for her, is confining.
To a certain segment of our society in 2021, none of that may seem strange. But it surprised me for three reasons.
Three Reasons the "Solo" Sentiment Is Surprising
First, it is surprising juxtaposed against the increasing crisis of loneliness, which has been compounded by the shutdowns. In June 2016 the then-Surgeon General said, "Our greatest public health crisis isn't cancer or heart disease; it's isolation." If isolation was the greatest public health crisis in 2016, it is far worse now after fourteen months of isolation. Just this week I saw a headline on StudyFinds.org: "Two in three Americans feel more alone than ever before, and many admit to crying for the first time in years." The article reported that 67 percent of Americans feel more alone than ever, 55 percent feel they've lost their sense of community over the past year, 54 percent withheld talking about their loneliness because they didn't want to be a burden, and 46 percent admitted they cried for the first time in years during COVID. Haley's essay is strange to me because loneliness is at an all-time high.
Second, her essay is strange because it resonates with a relatively large and growing group of young people. On her Twitter account, where she posted the essay, most of the feedback came from people in their twenties and thirties, and most of it was affirming. One responder wrote, "Freeing yourself from the suffocation of society is a great and worthy challenge... the only way to truly be authentic in existence." Another said, "I love people, I love relationships, but I feel more whole alone." Another wrote, "I loved this. So freeing... it is what I've been looking for without knowing I was looking for it."
Third, this resonates with people, but it is not sustainable for any meaningful period of life. It sounds good to have love without the responsibility of genuine connection, but it won't last. In the end, if you buy into this mindset, you will be among the 67 percent who are alone and lonely. In your twenties and thirties, surrounded by other single friends in a big city, you might feel you could do this indefinitely — but that's not how people are geared. As people move toward what they were created for, they will come to a day when they find themselves isolated and alone. We were made to live life in connection with one another.
"It Is Not Good That Man Should Be Alone"
Go back to . In verse 26, "God said, Let Us make man in Our image and likeness." Verse 27: "So God created man in His own image... male and female He created them." Then verse 28: "God blessed them... and said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth." Why would God tell them to multiply? Not so they could live solely autonomous lives, but so they could be connected together as one in community. Within the Trinity there is perfect communion between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and God made us male and female so that we could be joined together.
is a verse worth underlining: "It is not good that man should be alone." God did not create us to live solo, autonomous lives. Immediately after this, in , God formed woman from the man's rib, and Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh... Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
From one man, Adam, God made two — Adam and Eve — so that the two would be joined together as one. This was His plan from the start. It is an issue of creation, not socialization. Marriage was not instituted by men but by God, for the purpose of perfect communion, and from that communion comes fruitfulness and more community.
A Divided and Lonely World
We all recognize that we are not living lives perfectly connected to one another. We live in close proximity — here at our location we're within ten miles of nearly a million people — but we don't experience genuine communion. We live in the same place as others, yet we are deeply divided, perhaps more than at any time in recent memory. We are divided over religion, over skin color, over socioeconomic status, over politics, and over ideology. Is it any wonder that at such a time of division we are also seeing increased isolation and loneliness?
Yet the aspirational message our culture sells us — through the media, publications, and podcasts that steer culture — is the idea of "solo polyamory": that you can connect with everybody without any real responsibility to anyone.
Where did all this separation come from? The same place as our separation from God. ends with Adam and Eve "both naked... and they were not ashamed." But in , the woman saw the forbidden tree was good for food, pleasant to the eyes, and desirable to make one wise; she took, ate, and gave to her husband. "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings."
In the beginning they lived in unbroken connection — vulnerable, naked, and unashamed. The moment they sinned, that connection was broken; shame entered, and they tried to cover their own brokenness. That is the first evidence of religion in the Bible: man trying to fix the problem on his own. But it will never be sufficient. Division, separation, isolation, loneliness, and death are all the result of the fall. And what is amazing is that all our efforts to deal with the brokenness only make things worse.
The Path and the Place of Reconciliation
So what is the answer? We turn to . Beginning at verse 14, Paul describes a separation between groups — Jew and Gentile, the circumcision and the uncircumcision. He reminds the Gentiles that they were once "without Christ... alienated from the commonwealth of Israel... having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ."
For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation... so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross... Now therefore you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God. ()
Jesus is the mediator who reconciles us to God and to one another. The path of reconciliation is the gospel. We just read it in brief: Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin for us, was crucified, His blood shed and His body broken — and through His blood we are reconciled, both to God and to one another.
The place of reconciliation is the church, the body of Christ. We are joined together as one body. Where do we break down the separation between nationalities, skin colors, ideologies, and political parties? In the church. Through the blood of Christ we are reconciled; through the body of Christ we are joined together as one. This is where we begin to experience and express true oneness and unity. As a local church in north San Diego County, this is exactly what we are focused on — life in connection with one another through Jesus.
From Theology to Practice
All of this is the theological basis for our mission: life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus. I'm a huge fan of practical, applied theology. It isn't enough to know these things in the mind; we must move from orthodoxy — what we believe — to orthopraxy — how we live it out. What does life in connection actually look like?
This won't be comprehensive, but here are a few ways to begin. First, you must accept Jesus — putting your trust in Him as Savior and Lord, receiving His forgiving grace for your sins, and committing by His enabling power to become part of the body, the church. We all recognize we live in a broken world and live broken lives because of sin. We try by our own good works — that's religion — and it will never be sufficient. So Jesus stands in our place and deals with our sins so we can enter into connection with God and one another. You must trust in Him, not in your own efforts.
Practically Connecting With God
How then do we connect with God? First, through the Scriptures, God's Word to us, where we get to know what He is like and what He likes — His nature and His will. We connect with Him through prayer, talking to Him and expecting that He hears and answers; here at Cross Connection we see answered prayer all the time. We connect with Him through worship, singing songs of praise as a body. We connect with Him through communion — the bread that symbolizes His body broken for us and the cup that reminds us of His blood shed for us. We connect through baptism, which we'll talk more about as we have a baptism planned in June.
We also connect with God through sacrificial serving, giving of ourselves within the church and in our outreaches, and through giving financially. It is a pattern in my life that my wife and I give of the first fruits of all our income, sacrificially. These are all very practical ways we connect with God.
Practically Connecting With One Another
How do we practically connect with others? One way is what the Bible calls fellowship — koinonia — living in community with one another. We experience it when we gather on a Sunday morning, when we serve together on a service or outreach team, and especially through our connect groups, home groups that meet throughout the month and across our county. There we share a meal, encourage one another, hear about each other's lives, serve one another, and pray together. You can learn more at lifeinconnection.com.
We also connect with one another through serving each other, through worshiping God together in community, and through praying with and for one another. And we connect when we care for one another. There are dozens of "one another" verses in the Bible — probably more than fifty — that say: love one another, care for one another, bear one another's burdens, forgive one another, share with one another. Our aim as a church is to learn more and more what it looks like to actually live out the "one anothers" of Scripture.
We aim to experience, express, and extend this life in connection in all that we do. That final word — extend — is what we'll talk about next time. Our vision is life in connection with God, with one another, and with the world: extending the good news that we can be reconciled to God and one another, sharing it with our family, our coworkers, and our neighbors. This is what Jesus commissioned His followers to do at the end of the gospels — to go into all the world and make disciples of all nations. So join us next time as we talk about life in connection with the world.
Closing Prayer
Father God, I pray that You would take the truths of Your Word and cause them to go deep into our hearts, that like a seed they would take root and grow up and produce fruit in our lives. I pray for those watching who already have a relationship with You, that You would produce in their lives the evidence of Your Spirit — love, joy, peace, kindness, self-control, gentleness, all the good things described in .
And I pray for anyone watching who has not yet put their trust in You. Draw them by Your Spirit to pray and ask You to come into their life, to forgive them of their sin, trusting not in their own good works but in Your saving grace and forgiveness. Begin a work of grace in their life.
I know there are people watching right now who feel isolated and alone. Draw near to them by Your Spirit, that they would recognize Your presence, and bring them into a place of connecting with You through Your Word, prayer, and worship — and with others through fellowship and care. We thank You for the ability to minister Your truth even at a distance. Encourage those who feel alone, and bless them. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.
And now may the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; may He lift up His countenance upon you and give you His peace. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God the Father, and the fellowship of His Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.
Days may be darkest, but Your light is greater. You light our way, God. You light our way. When evil is rising, You're rising higher with power to save, with power to save. You keep hope alive.
Because Your life was stronger, Jesus, You are. Because You're breathing, there's hope in the breaking, hope in the sorrow, and hope for this moment. My hope for tomorrow is that there's hope in the morning and hope in the evening. There's hope because You're living in us.
Hope, cause you're breathing in this hope in the breaking. You keep hope alive.
From Jesus, you are alive. The head that once was crowned with thorns is crowned with glory now. The Savior knelt to wash our feet; now at His feet, we bow.
Hey, welcome to Cross Connection Church this morning! We're so glad that you could join us. If you would, take a moment to grab your phone and invite somebody to watch with you. You can share the church service this morning in a couple of different ways. Simply text them the address live.ccchurch.com, and they'll be able to tune right in. They can also find us on YouTube. This is a great opportunity for you to invite someone to watch the service this morning.
Now, let's jump in with worship with Pastor. God bless you all!
Heavenly Father, we thank You, Lord, for just another day to praise You, another day to serve You, and to learn of You. God, that's what we want to do today. We want to seek Your face, be in Your presence, and know You more. Thank You, God, for the opportunity to worship You and to hear what You have to say in Your Word. Would You bless our time as we lift You high? We ask this in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.
I once was dead in sin, alone and hopeless, a child of wrath. I walked condemned in darkness. Your mercy brought me to life, and in Your loving kindness, You raised me up with Christ and made me righteous. You have saved me forever by Your grace.
Grace, you satisfy my soul when I am heartless. Whenever I forget, I'll never be the same. My sin has been erased; I'll never be the same. You have brought me back with the riches of your amazing grace. I'm saved by your grace; I'm saved.
Welcome, and thanks for tuning in to Cross Connection Church today. We're so glad that we get to bring you this message.
Church at home, I'm Pastor Garrett. If you haven't met me yet, hi! Welcome to Cross Connection Church. Here at Cross Connection, we're all about living life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus Christ.
Part of the way that I want to encourage you to do that today is through prayer. We deeply value prayer here at Cross Connection because our God does. He listens and hears every single prayer that you pray. I want to invite you to go to prayer.lifeinconnection.com right now, from your home, your couch, or wherever you're at, and let us know how we can be praying with and for you this week. We want to see how God is going to answer your prayers. We believe that He loves you, cares for you, and knows what's going on in your life. So, we want to lift that up in prayer with and for you and your family members. Whatever is going on in your life that you would like prayer for, let's see how God answers those this week.
Again, that's prayer.lifeinconnection.com. We would love to pray for you.
Our mission this week is Alternatives Medical Clinic here in Escondido. We've been supporting Alternatives for years, and they are just an amazing ministry. There are a couple of different ways that you can be praying for them. Their ministry is focused on reaching young families, particularly young women who are pregnant and looking for alternatives to abortion. They help with how to raise a child and how to go through the pregnancy. They provide ultrasounds and heartbeat monitoring, covering every little aspect along the way.
Not only that, but they love to share Jesus Christ with these young families and girls who come to them. They are receiving the hope of Jesus Christ and learning about the value of children. It's just an amazing ministry here in Escondido.
Recently, Alternatives went through a leadership shift, which is a good thing. Their CEO and CFO are both transitioning out, and new leaders are coming in. Please pray for the future of Alternatives and for the new leadership, that God would inspire them with His Holy Spirit and give them a fresh vision for this really important ministry in our hometown of Escondido.
In just a moment, we will be transitioning back to Pastor Anthony, who will be leading us in another song of worship before we get to the message. This is a time that we like to set aside for those of you who call Cross Connection Church your home church. It is a time to worship the Lord with our giving, which is an important part of being a believer. By supporting us, you are also supporting ministries like Alternatives and all the work they do.
On missions that we mention each week, there are a couple of different ways that you can give today. First, you can go on your cell phone and text the number 4321 with any amount, and it will walk you through the process of giving right there from your phone. Alternatively, you can go online to give.lifeinconnection.com; it's a very simple giving portal. You can also simply mail your tithe to our church address listed below: 1675 Seven Oaks Road in Escondido, California.
Well, God bless you guys! Let's worship the Lord together.
All throughout my history, faithfulness has walked beside me. The winter storms may wait for spring, and in every season from where I'm standing, I see the evidence of Your goodness all over my life. I see Your promises in fulfillment all over my life.
Help me remember when I'm weak. Fear may come, but You lead my heart to victory. You are my strength, and You always will be. I see the evidence of Your goodness. I see Your promises in fulfillment.
See the cross, the empty grave.
The evidence isn't endless. All my sins rolled away because of You, oh Jesus. I see the cross, the empty grave. The evidence is endless; all my sins rolled away because of You, oh Jesus.
I see the evidence of Your goodness all over my life, all over my life. Amen. I see Your promises and fulfillment all over my life, all over my life. I see the evidence of Your goodness all over my life, all over my life. I see Your promises and fulfillment all over my life, all over my life.
And why should I fear? Oh, the evidence is here. Why should I fear? Oh, the evidence is here. Yes, Lord God, we see the evidence, Lord, all around us, all throughout our lives. Before we met You and now that we have You in our lives, we belong to You, and You belong to us.
Lord, we thank You for Your love. We love the way You love us. I love the way You provide, the way You heal, and the way You protect.
The way you do the things you do, Lord God, in our lives and through our lives, bless you. God, bless our time and your Word now, in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.
I don't know about you, but I'm rarely shocked by the shifts in our culture. Sometimes I'm a little surprised, but I'm really shocked by the things that are going on. When I am preparing to give any message, one of the things that I will do is begin by searching for resources. Effectively, I'm building a bibliography. These resources might be a list of passages of Scripture that we're going to go through that connect to the idea or the passage that I'm going to be speaking on. It might also include biblical commentary on a passage, scholarly articles from journals, and sometimes data and research on various topics. Occasionally, it's just going to news sources to read what the news is saying and what op-ed pieces might be in major publications.
We are currently talking about connection here at Cross Connection Church. Our vision, as you probably know, is life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus. In my previous messages, I talked about the purpose of the church—not just our church, but the church as a whole—and the purpose of human beings as the creation of God. I shared that we were created by God to be in connection with Him, to experience perfect communion with Him. However, we've considered how we are all, because of the rebellious fall written about in , disconnected from God.
I shared in my last talk how we desire this connection with something transcendent, but in and of our own strength and by our own efforts, we can't achieve the connection that we are seeking, no matter how hard we try to experience it. I finished up last time talking about Jesus's mission to bring us back into connection with God. Jesus came to this world seeking to save that which is lost; that's what we're told in the Gospel.
, is one of Jesus's purpose statements. His mission is articulated in a dozen or more purpose statements in the Bible, and this verse is one of them. It is one of the theme verses of the Gospel of Luke. There we are told, "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which is lost."
Several weeks ago, we talked about the story of Zacchaeus, the tax collector whom Jesus met in the city of Jericho. This passage comes from that context. As Jesus reaches out to this tax collector, He explains to the crowds, who were upset that He would interact with a sinful man like Zacchaeus, that the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which is lost. This is one of the purpose statements of Jesus in His coming to the earth.
Another clear expression of His mission is found in the theme verse of the Gospel of Mark, . Jesus says, "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many." He came to lay down His life; He came to seek and to save that which is lost. There are many other verses like this. For example, in , He says, "I have come that you may have life and that you may have it more abundantly."
All of this speaks to Jesus's mission. I shared in my talk last time that Jesus came to the earth on a reconnection mission. That was our focus last time: life in connection with God, which we all desire because we are born believers. We were created to live in perfect communion with God. Life in connection with God is through Jesus. That's what our mission statement here at Cross Connection Church says.
The Apostle Paul writes in Second Corinthians chapter 5 that God the Father was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself. Jesus came to the world on a reconciliation mission. Ultimately, though we want to be connected with God, full reconciliation is not possible apart from Jesus's reconciling work. It is not possible because of our sin. Our sin creates a gulf, an expanse that we cannot cross.
Cross by our own strength, using the exact same word that's translated as "reconciling" in , Paul writes this in , a very famous passage of Scripture, beginning at verse 6.
"For when we were still without strength, in due time, or at just the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man some would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more than, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation."
All of that to say this very important point: we are reconciled to God through Jesus. The connection to transcendence that every single human being desires is possible in Christ. I would even say that it's only possible in Christ because ultimate connection to transcendence is not possible until we are fully present with God, outside of this world, in eternity where God dwells. That's where we will finally experience what the ancient sages would call "fullness of joy."
In , which was written some 3,000 years ago, the psalmist, who is King David, the great king of Israel, says, "In Your presence, God, is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." The psalmist, 3,000 years ago, looked forward to a time when we would experience fullness of joy, which can only be experienced when we are fully experiencing the fullness of all that we were created for—being connected to God.
In the presence of God, in connection with Him, is fullness of joy. That will be experienced when we are at His right hand, where there are pleasures for eternity, forevermore. Now, this reconciliation and connection to the God that is above all, who is the fullness of all things, is what every human being desires.
It is what we were created for, but it isn't the only thing that we desire. At a fundamental level, we desire connection with God. We were made for this connection with God, but we lost it because of disobedience, rebellion, and sin. We can have a restoration of connection with God through Christ and Jesus's work on the cross. However, we also desire a connection with one another.
I began this message saying that I am rarely shocked by the shifts we see in culture, but occasionally I am a bit surprised. In preparation for this message, I was searching for resources online and stumbled upon a recent essay published in The New York Times by a young African-American woman named Haley Blasengame. In her essay, Haley discusses a recent breakup with her boyfriend of five years and how she has realized during the pandemic, during the shutdowns of the last 13 or 14 months, that she identifies as what she calls a solo polyamorous individual. She doesn't want to be joined to just one person for life.
From what I could tell, she is probably in her early 30s. She says that she cherishes and prioritizes autonomy and the preservation of self. Being joined in a monogamous relationship is, for Haley, confining; it kind of locks her up. She just needs autonomy and freedom, which she talks about in the article she wrote.
Now, none of that may seem all that strange to a certain segment of our society in 2021. It's not shocking to hear some people talk in this way, but it is surprising to me for at least three reasons. As I was reading through this and thinking about all the things I wanted to discuss in this message, it became clear that this sentiment is surprising to me when juxtaposed with the increasing crisis of loneliness, which has been compounded during the shutdowns of 2020. In June of 2016, the then Surgeon General was interviewed, and the Surgeon General of the United States stated...
Our greatest public health crisis isn't cancer or heart disease; it's isolation. The effects of being socially isolated are the biggest health crisis, according to the Surgeon General. In 2016, if isolation and loneliness were the greatest public health issue and crisis in the United States, you can be certain that it is far worse now after 14 months of isolation and shutdown for many people due to COVID-19.
Just this last Thursday, I came across a headline in my news feed: "Two in three Americans feel more alone than ever before," and many admit to crying for the first time in years. This was found on studyfinds.org. As I read through the article, it stated that 67 percent of Americans say they feel more alone than they ever have before. Additionally, 55 percent feel like they've completely lost their sense of community over the past year. Furthermore, 54 percent admitted that they withheld from talking to anyone about how they felt alone during the past year because they didn't want to be a burden to others. The article noted that feelings of loneliness and isolation were so rampant among Americans that 46 percent admitted they cried for the first time in years at some point during COVID-19.
Haley's essay about wanting to be solo and separated from people, essentially living in isolation, is strange to me because loneliness is at an all-time high, and it seems to be increasing in our culture. That's the first thing that stands out to me. The second thing is that her essay resonates with a relatively large and growing group of young people. There weren't any comments available on Haley's article or her essay in The New York Times, but she did have a Twitter account. I went to her Twitter account, where she posted a link to her essay, and people were giving feedback on what she said. Most of the feedback came from younger people in their 20s and 30s, and most of their responses were affirming of her position and the things she was saying.
One of the responses to her article stated that "freeing yourself from the suffocation of society is a great and worthy challenge."
The only way to truly be authentic in existence is to embrace our true selves. I am daily impressed by the commitment to authenticity and selfhood that I see in young women like you. Your article resonated with me; I have never been able to attach words to this feeling. I love people and I love relationships, but I feel more whole alone.
I found one more perspective fascinating. I loved—capital L-O-V-E-D—this so freeing. I had not heard of solo polyamory before, but it is what I've been looking for without knowing I was looking for it. Thank you for using your voice and platform to advocate for a broader experience of love and life. This resonates with people.
However, this leads to a third reason that I am surprised by this sentiment. While it resonates with people, it is not possible for any sustainable period of life. It sounds appealing to some to have love without the responsibility of genuine connection, but it won't last. In the end, if you buy into this mindset, you will be among the 67 percent of people in our culture right now who are alone and lonely. As life goes on, loneliness compounds over time.
When you live in a really big urban environment, like Haley does in Washington, D.C., or like some of the commenters who responded to our article who live in places like Brooklyn, you might feel like you could do this indefinitely. You may have a lot of other single friends during your 20s and 30s, but that is not how people are geared. As people start to move toward what they truly are created for—connecting with others—you will ultimately come to a day when you find yourself isolated and alone.
We were made to live life in connection with one another. We see this as we go back into the Scriptures, as we have done every week over the last several weeks. If we look back to , we read, "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image and likeness.'" In verse 27, it continues, "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God, He created him; male and female, He created them."
Then God blessed them. Note this in verse 28: "Then God blessed them, the male and female, and said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth.'" Why would God bless?
Man and woman, Adam and Eve, were in that situation when God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply," to make more people just like them. Why? So that they could live solely autonomous lives? No, it was so that they could be connected together as one in community. They could experience the very thing that God was trying to impart to us when He made us in His image and His likeness within the Trinity. I talked about this three or four weeks ago; there is perfect communion between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
God says, "Let Us, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, make man in Our image and likeness; make them male and female," so that they could be joined together. If you look at , right after we read this, we find the following: "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone.'" If you have a Bible with you today, that would probably be a really good verse to underline. It is not good that man should be alone. God did not create us to live solo autonomous lives; He created us to live life in connection.
Immediately after we read God's saying, "It's not good that man should be alone," we read this in , beginning at verse 21: "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. And God took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into woman, and He brought her to man." Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man."
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. They were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed. From one man, Adam, God made two: Adam and Eve, with the intent that the two would be joined together as one, that they would become one flesh. This was God's aim, His plan, and His intent from the start. This is an issue of creation, not socialization. Marriage, as we see it, is not something that was instituted by man or created by men; it was instituted and created by God when He, from one man, Adam, made two: Adam and Eve, for the purpose that the two would be joined together as one.
One that they would experience perfect communion. The result of perfect communion, of them being joined together, is that they are fruitful, they multiply, and they create more community, allowing for perfect harmony and communion. This is an issue of creation, not socialization. We were made to live life in connection with one another.
However, we all recognize that we are not living lives that are perfectly connected. We live lives that are close in proximity to one another. I've often told the members of our church that here in our location, we're just within ten miles of nearly a million people. So, we live lives in close proximity to a lot of people in cities and urban environments, but we do not experience genuine communion and unity with them. We may be in the same place as others, but we are very divided.
At this moment, we may be more divided than at any other time in the recent past in the Western world, especially in the United States. We are divided over religion, sadly divided over skin color, divided over socioeconomic status, and definitely divided over politics—perhaps more so right now than we have been in a long time. We are also divided over perspective or ideology.
Is it really any wonder that at a time of great division, as we are living in right now, we are also experiencing increased feelings of isolation and loneliness? I suggest there is no wonder that we are seeing this happen in our culture. The aspirational message we are being sold, and that we are being given by those who try to steer culture—whether it's the media we watch on Disney Plus, Hulu, Netflix, or the articles we read from the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, or what we get from CNN or MSNBC, or even what we listen to on podcasts or AM radio—is an idea of solo polyamory. This concept suggests that you can connect with everybody but not really have any responsibility to those people with whom you are connecting.
Where did all this separation and division come from? The same answer as before, when we were talking about the separation and the disconnection.
Us and God, that we were created for. I just read from a moment ago. The very last verse of says that Adam and Eve, when they were joined together as one flesh, were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.
But then we get into , which we've looked at quite a bit over the last several weeks. We're going to look at it again, specifically in verse 6. states that when the woman saw that the tree that God had told them not to eat from was good for food, pleasant to the eyes, and desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave it to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked. They sewed fig leaves together and made for themselves coverings.
In the beginning, we were made to live life in connection with one another. We see that these two individuals, male and female, were made to live life in connection with God. "Let us make man in our image and likeness." They were living life in connection with one another, totally unbroken. They were naked and unashamed, completely vulnerable before one another and not ashamed of that.
However, as soon as they disobeyed, as soon as they broke God's command, as soon as they committed what we call sin, that connection was instantly broken. They perceived that they were naked. They were naked before, but they didn't notice it. They were vulnerable with one another, but there was no shame. Now, after they have sinned, they experience brokenness, and shame comes in immediately. They sow fig leaves to try and make coverings for themselves. Notice what they're doing there: they are trying to cover up their own brokenness, cover up their own sin to deal with the division.
That's religion—it's like the first evidence of religion in the Bible: man trying to fix the problem on his own, but it will never be sufficient. In the beginning, we were made to live life in connection with God and one another, but division, separation, isolation, loneliness, and death are all the results of the fall here in . That's the sad state of our world. We live in a broken, divided, lonely, and segregated world.
What is amazing, at least to me, is that all of our efforts to try and deal with the brokenness...
We deeply desire unhindered connection with one another because that's what we were made for. We see it all the way back in , thousands of years ago. We want perfect communion, unity, and harmony with others, but that is impossible by our own efforts, even by our best efforts.
So what then is the answer? As I've done before, we go from Genesis to the New Testament, specifically to the book of Ephesians. We've talked about this a lot recently as well. is one of my favorite passages about dealing with the problem of brokenness, isolation, and separation because of the sin that came in .
In , beginning at verse 14, we read: "Therefore remember that you were once Gentiles in the flesh, who were called the uncircumcision by that which is called the circumcision made in flesh by hand." Paul is describing a separation between groups—people groups, ethnicities, nations, if you will. If you were not Jewish, you were not a part of the old covenant from Genesis to Malachi. You were separated from all of those things, and there was division: ethnic division, national division, all these divisions.
At that time in the past, you were without Christ and alienated from the commonwealth of Israel. You were strangers from the covenants and promises, having no hope in the world and without God. But now, in Christ Jesus, you who once were afar off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.
For He Himself is our peace. Jesus is our peace who has made both one. He combines two separated individuals together as one and breaks down the middle wall of separation, having abolished in His flesh the enmity, which is the law of commandments contained in ordinances. His aim is to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace.
He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity.
He came and preached peace to you who were far off and to those who were near. For through Him, we both have access by one Spirit to the Father. Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, having been built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone.
In Him, the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him, you also are being built up together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit. Jesus is the mediator who reconciles us to God and to one another. The path of reconciliation is the gospel. We just read the gospel in brief there in that passage: through the blood of Christ.
That is the gospel message—that Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin for us, was crucified on the cross, His blood was shed, and His body was broken. Through His blood, we are reconciled. The path for reconciliation between God and man, and between humanity, is through the blood of Christ. The place of reconciliation is the church, the body of Christ.
We are joined together as one, as Paul says in . Whether you are Jewish under the old covenant or Gentiles, where do we come together? Where do we break down the separation between nationalities, skin colors, different ideologies, or different political parties? Where is the place supposed to be where we are joined together as one?
The path of reconciliation is the gospel, and the place of reconciliation is the church. Through the blood of Christ, we are reconciled; through the body of Christ, we are joined together as one. This is where we begin to experience and express true oneness and unity within the body of Christ, within the church.
As a local church, right here in North San Diego County, Cross Connection Church is focused on these very things. We are focused on life in connection with one another through Jesus, through His blood, the gospel, and through His body, the church. That is where we find the bringing together of two that once were at enmity.
Our mission and vision is life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus. That's the theology of it. Going back to Genesis and looking at Ephesians, we move from the Old Testament to the New Testament. This is where we establish the theological or doctrinal foundation for these things.
As we wrap up our time together today, I want to move from the theological to the practical. This is really how I approach things in life and in ministry. We begin with the theological: what does the Bible tell us about why these things are? Then we move to the practical. I am a huge fan of practical and applied theology. I don't think it's enough just to know these things in your mind; we also need to take what we know from the Scriptures and move it into practice.
In old-world theological terms, we move from orthodoxy—what we believe—to orthopraxy—how we live this out, how we practice it. So, what does life in connection with one another through the gospel and within the body of the church actually look like?
I need to say that what I'm going to share in answering that question is not comprehensive or exhaustive. There is no way that I could exhaustively answer the question of what it practically looks like to live life in connection in any meaningful way in the short period of time that we have together today. However, I do want to give you just a few ways that you can begin to experience life in connection with God and with one another within the context of this church, to enjoy the connection that God created you for, both with Him and with one another.
The first thing you must do is accept Jesus. You must put your trust in Him as Savior and Lord. You must receive His forgiving grace for your sins, and you must commit, by His grace and by His enabling power, to become a part of the body, the church. This is really important; this is where we respond to the good news of the gospel.
We all recognize that we live in a broken world and lead broken lives because of sin, as described in . We notice that we have a desire for a life and an experience of creation that is better than the broken world we inhabit, which is reflected in Genesis chapters 1 and 2. In our own efforts, we try through good works, which is religion, to address these issues, but none of that will ever be sufficient.
Jesus comes to fix the problem; He stands in our place and deals with our sins so that we can enter into connection with God and with one another. How do we practically move into that? First, we need to trust in Him—not in our own good works or efforts. We put our trust in Jesus, acknowledging Him as Savior and Lord, receiving His forgiving grace for our sins. Then, we commit, by His enabling grace and power, to live in connection with Him and within the church.
So, how do we connect with God practically? How do we connect with one another? We connect with God through the Scriptures. One of the things we do here at the church is open the Bible, which is God's word to us. Through His word, we get to know what He is like and what He likes. When I say that we get to know what He is like and what He likes, I am referring to the nature and will of God.
How do you know the nature and will of God? There are certain things you can deduce about God by looking at creation, but we really need the special revelation of Scripture to understand His nature and will. Therefore, we connect with God first and foremost through the Scriptures.
We also connect with God through prayer. When we pray, we are talking to God, and we expect that He hears and answers our prayers. One of the things we see here at Cross Connection Church is answered prayer all the time. We highly value prayer—praying for one another and for our own needs.
In addition to connecting with God through the Scriptures and prayer, we connect with Him when we gather together to worship as a body. When we sing songs of praise to God, we are connecting with Him. Another way we connect with God is through communion, which we will partake of here in the not-too-distant future.
We partake of the bread of communion, which shows us, or is a symbol of, Jesus's body that was broken for us, and the cup of communion, which reminds us of His blood that was shed for us. We connect with Him through communion. We also connect with Him through baptism, which we will be talking a lot more about in the coming weeks, as we have a baptism planned here in the month of June at Cross Connection Church.
We connect with God through the Scriptures, through prayer, through worship, through communion, and through baptism. One of the ways we connect with God is through sacrificial serving. We give of ourselves to serve people within the church, whether it's serving here at the church on Sunday morning or serving in one of our outreaches. We connect with God when we serve other people, and we connect with God when we give financially. It is a pattern in my life that I give of the first fruits of all my income. Both my wife and I give sacrificially, and that's one of the ways that we connect with God.
There are many practical ways that we connect with God: through the Scriptures, through prayer, through worship, through service to one another, and through giving to one another. All of these ways, including baptism and communion, are ways that we practically connect with God. We will have a lot more to say about that as we continue to go through the Scriptures together.
But how do we practically connect with others? There are a number of ways. One is what we call fellowship, which the Bible refers to as koinonia. This means living in communion and community with one another. Fellowship with others is experienced here at Cross Connection Church when we gather together on a Sunday morning to worship. It is also when we serve with each other on a service team or an outreach team.
Another significant way that we experience fellowship is through our connect groups. Our connect groups are home groups that meet in homes throughout the month across our county. These are opportunities for us to join together, have a meal, share with one another, encourage one another, hear about the things going on in people's lives, and serve each other through prayer. Fellowship takes place in these connect groups. If you want more information about those connect groups, just go to our website, lifeinconnection.com, and you can learn more about them.
We connect with one another through fellowship, through gathering together in the church, and through our connect groups. We connect with one another when we serve each other within the church.
When we worship together, worshiping with one another and worshiping God in community, we enjoy fellowship with one another. Another way we experience this connection is by praying together and praying for one another. We have groups of people within the church that get together to pray with one another and for the needs of the church. This is one of the ways we connect with one another.
We connect when we care for one another. In fact, there are dozens of what we call "one another" verses in the Bible. Maybe someday we'll do a series of teachings on the "one anothers" of the Bible, because there are probably more than 50 verses that say things like love one another, care for one another, bear one another's burdens, forgive one another, and share with one another.
Our aim as a church, as we seek to live life in connection with one another, is to daily learn more about what it looks like to actually live out the "one anothers" of Scripture. We aim to experience, express, and extend this life in connection in all that we do. That final "e," extend, is what we will be talking about next time.
Our vision is life in connection with God, which we've discussed; life in connection with one another, which I've been talking about today; and life in connection with the world. We want to extend this good news that we can experience the very thing we were created for: connecting with God, connecting with one another, and sharing that with the people in our community, our families, and the people we work with or live next door to.
This is actually what Jesus commissioned His followers to do at the end of the Gospels: go into all the world and make disciples of all nations, telling them this good news about restored connection and being reconciled to God and one another.
As we gather next week, we will talk about life in connection with the world—how we do that, why we do that, and the whole theological basis for it. We will also discuss how to practically live that out. I hope that you will join us next time as we talk about this.
Father God, I pray that you would take the truths of Your Word and cause them to go deep into our hearts, and that they would, like a seed, take root.
Root, and that they would begin to grow up and produce fruit in our lives. Lord, I pray for those who are watching this and who already have a relationship with You. They have already trusted in You for salvation, and I ask that You would begin to produce in their lives the fruit, the evidence of Your Spirit dwelling in them: love, joy, peace, kindness, self-control, gentleness— all of these good things described in . Cause that to be fruit in our lives.
I also pray for anyone who is watching this right now and has not yet put their trust in You. I pray that You would draw them by Your Spirit to pray to You and to ask You to come into their life to forgive them of their sin. May they trust not in their own good works or their own efforts, but in You for Your saving grace and forgiveness. Begin to do a work of grace in their life, so draw them to Yourself, I pray today. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.
On the day that death surrendered to the mighty cross of Jesus Christ, the earth would shake beneath the weight of darkness. On His brow, a crown of sorrow for a King whose weakness was our strength. No word He spoke; His love was shown for all to see. Oh, the cross
The blood of Jesus Christ will never lose its power for me. Resurrection floods the night as hope prevails to shine. Salvation wakes, poor chains to break. It set me free.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
You want it on the day He comes in glory to reveal the fullness of His reign. Our hearts will bow before Him.
Father God, we thank You for the time that we've had today to go through Your Word and to worship You. I pray for all of those who are watching this message and are not gathered together with us here on a Sunday morning. I ask, God, that You would be with them and that You would encourage them. Lord, pour out a blessing upon those who are tuned in, those who are a part of Your church.
We pray for those who have not yet put their trust in You, that You would draw them to Yourself. God, I know that there are people right now who are watching this and do feel isolated. I pray that You would encourage them wherever they are, Lord, and that You would draw near to them by Your Spirit.
And they would recognize Your presence, and that You would bring them into a place of connecting not only with You through Your Word, through prayer, and through worship, but also connecting with others through fellowship and caring for one another.
So, Lord, just draw those people into that place. As maybe we are at a distance from one another, we thank You for the ability and the availability of this technology to minister Your truth to other people, even though they are not gathered with us on a Sunday morning. Would You just encourage those who are feeling alone and isolated? Draw near to them and bless them, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
And now may the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He lift up His countenance upon you and give you His peace. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God the Father, and the fellowship of His Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.
God bless you. We'll see you next time. Join us live. The address is cctrix.com. I just pulled a mark; that'll be a blooper on it.
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