Showing Honor
April 4, 2018 · Pastor Miles DeBenedictis
In this teaching
Drawing on the early church's practice of Koinonia in Acts 2 and Paul's instructions to Timothy in 1 Timothy 5, this teaching examines how the church is to honor and provide for widows who are genuinely in need, while also calling believers to care for their own families first. It establishes biblical principles for wisely discerning genuine need and honoring godly witness.
- The church should provide for the needs of those who are genuinely in need, as modeled by the fellowship (Koinonia) of the early church in Acts 2.
- The church must wisely discern who is genuinely in need, applying biblical criteria rather than supporting every want.
- It is Christ-like for believers to provide for the needs of their own families, especially widowed mothersâJesus modeled this from the cross.
- Good works and a godly witness are worthy of honor and reward, both in this life and in eternity.
- The biblical standard of care is family first, church second, with the church corporately supporting truly alone, elderly, faithful widows.
Readable is a lightly edited reading copy; Verbatim stays close to the spoken words. The audio and video are the record of what was said.
Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives... But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number... If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows. ()
What does it really mean for the church to honor widowsâand where does the responsibility of family begin?
A Passage Central to the Church: Acts 2
This week I was having an email conversation with one of our elders, and in that exchange I ended up in a passage that is central not only to our church but to every Bible-teaching, Jesus-following churchâ. It describes some of the earliest happenings in the church 2,000 years ago.
The Apostle Peter, one of the first followers of Jesus, preached to a great multitude gathered in Jerusalem for the feast of Pentecost. At the end of his message the people cried out, "What should we do?" Peter said, repent and be baptized every one of you for the removal of your sins. That day, three thousand people were added to the church. They went from 120 gathered in a small room to over 3,000 in a single day.
So what did they do with that? describes it:
And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.
We have here the birth of the church and the four central things they did: they continued in the apostles' teaching, in fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. The breaking of bread doesn't necessarily mean communionâit was probably hospitality, gathering for meals with one another.
What Is Koinonia?
I want to look at one of those things in particular: that word fellowship. They continued consistently, regularly, steadfastly in fellowship. The New Testament was written in Greek, and that word for fellowship is Koinonia.
If you've been around a Bible-teaching church for any length of time, you may have heard that word. Sometimes churchy Christians throw it aroundâ"Let's get together for some Koinonia"âand a non-churchgoer goes, "What's Koinonia? That sounds trippy." They might validly say, "Why don't you just say, let's get together and hang out?" But Koinonia has a far deeper meaning than just hanging out.
The definition is described in the following verses:
Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. ()
The word common there is the Greek word koinosâthe adjective form of Koinonia. To have all things in common meant they sold their possessions and divided them among all as anyone had need.
Caring for the Newly Outcast
This became a general principle within the church, seen again in , and 19, and in the epistles like 1 Timothy. Every one of those 3,000 people came out of Judaism. Under the Old Testament law there were clear requirements to care for the social welfare needs of the people. But when these people put their faith in Jesus as Messiah, they became social outcasts in Jewish societyâand that social welfare was gone.
So how was it taken care of? In the form of Koinonia. They sold their possessions and divided them among all as anyone had need. Now, any good post-World War II American hears that and says, "Listen here, comrade, we're not into that old communism thing." And there's a sense in which that's exactly what was happening. But understand the difference: these people were inspired by the Spirit of God to take care of the needs of those within the church. If a government comes in and forces it, we might rightly objectâbut that's not what was happening here.
This gives us a clear general principleâpoint number one: the church should provide for the needs of those that are genuinely in need.
What Is the Church?
That raises a question: what is the church? says all those who believed were together. That's the church. If you trust in Jesus as your Savior and Lord, and you're together with other believers, you're part of the church. This building is not the church; this gathering of believers is the church.
So the church should provide for the needs of those genuinely in need. But that raises two more questions: how should the church provide, and who are the genuinely needy? The passage before us in endeavors to answer both.
The Context: How to Conduct Yourself in God's House
We need to extend the context. The context for is found in , where Paul writes:
These things I write to you... so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God.
Timothy had recently been ordained to oversee, as a pastor, the church in Ephesus. Paul, his mentor and teacher, writes to tell him how he should conduct himself as the leader of that church. As part of those instructions, Paul says in 5:3: honor widows.
Paul clearly has local knowledge of problems in Ephesus, and one had to do with how the church dealt with widows. This wasn't new. In , one of the first problems the church faced was that a group of widows was not being taken care of, so seven men full of the Holy Spirit, full of wisdom, and of good reputation were appointed to care for them. The problem comes up again here at Ephesus.
The Meaning of "Honor"
In our day, honor generally means to respect, value, and esteemâand we should certainly value the widows among us. But there is more to the word here. Just about every commentator agrees that honor in this context means to financially support and sustain those within the body of Christ who are widows.
So does the church become the de facto life insurance policy for every widow? Notice what Paul says: "Honor widows who are really widows." I know some in our church work in social services, a difficult sectorâthe needs are abundant, and there are times when they have to say no. Saying no is hard, especially in a culture that highly values yes. (This is why we get frustrated in prayer; we want yes all the time, and God doesn't always say yesâpraise God.)
Just as social services have policies and requirements, Paul sets forth principles for this issue. Honor widowsâfinancially support and sustain themâbut only the widows who are really widows. This brings us to point number two: the church must wisely discern who is genuinely in need.
Especially Vulnerable: The Widows and the Fatherless
This can be a touchy thing, but it's clearly seen in Scripture. Those seven men in had to be full of wisdomâwhich comes back to wisely discerning genuine need.
As a brief aside: the church doesn't only support widows. Throughout church history the church has helped the poor, the sick, and the disabled. But two groups are set aside in both Testaments as especially vulnerable: the widows and the fatherlessâthe orphans and the widows. Paul zeroes in on widows here because he had local knowledge of that problem at Ephesus.
Who Is "Really" a Widow?
So how does the church help these widows who are really widows? Look again at the criteria in and 6:
Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.
Every woman whose husband has died is a widow, but a certain classification is in view. Here are the policy markers: First, she has no other helpâshe is effectively all alone in this world. Second, she is a believer who trusts in God, continuing in supplications and prayers night and day. She trusts God alone for her provision, seeking Him daily for her bread.
Then comes that interesting mark in : "she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives." At the very least, this person is not just seeking to have her pleasures fulfilled by the church. There's a difference between needs and wants. These policy guidelines are like the beginnings of an algorithm: they are truly alone, they trust solely in God, and they understand the church will take care of needs.
Family First: It Is Christ-Like to Provide
But notice :
But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.
The church helps not only by gathering offerings, but by exhorting family members to take care of family. This is point number three: it is Christ-like for believers to provide for the needs of their own families.
This isn't new. In , the Ten Commandmentsâfour addressing our relationship with God, six addressing our relationship with one anotherâinclude "honor your father and mother." Paul repeats it in Ephesians 6: children obey your parents; honor your father and mother, the first commandment with promise, that it may go well with you and you may have a long life. So if a widowed mother has children or grandchildren, they should take care of her.
Jesus on the Cross
This is astounding to me. Consider what was on Jesus's mind on the cross. John records:
Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, "Woman, behold your son!" Then He said to the disciple, "Behold your mother!" And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. ()
I love that John always announces himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." Most Bible teachers believe that by this point Joseph had died and Mary was a widow. One of the things on Jesus's mind while dying for our sin was the welfare of His widowed mother. If you're not concerned about the welfare of your own familyâespecially a widowed motherâyou're not very Christ-like.
John, who heard those words, writes decades later:
But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. ()
It may be a strong thing to say, but it is not off the mark: you are not Christ-like if you do not have concern for the needs of your family.
Worse Than an Unbeliever
Paul continues in : "And these things command, that they may be blameless. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." Strong words.
It's worth recognizing that about A.D. 14âabout fifty years before this letterâthe Roman Emperor Augustus had already established social welfare in the Roman Empire. We think of Rome as a wicked, pagan place, and it was; yet even those pagans felt you should take care of the welfare of people. So Paul's point stands: if you're not concerned about the welfare of others, you're worse than a Roman paganâworse than an unbeliever.
The List: Qualifications for Support
Paul continues:
Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work. ()
When we read "taken into the number," it's clear the early church kept a listâa first-century spreadsheetâof those to be provided for. So we have more qualifications: she must be completely alone, fully trusting in God, looking to the church for her needs, and an elderly widow over sixty. He gives seven further qualifications: faithful to one husband, well reported for good works, having brought up children, lodged strangers, washed the saints' feet, relieved the afflicted, and diligently followed every good work.
This is point number four: good works and a godly witness are worthy of honor and reward. In eternity, the Bible makes clear you will be rewarded by Jesus for your good works and godly witness. But in this life, these widowsâwho without the support of the church could not surviveâare honored and rewarded for their faithfulness.
Wisely Discerning in Practice
It's not only acceptable but required that church leaders consider the conduct and witness of those they benevolently help. Rarely does a week go by here at Cross Connection without someone from the body of Christ coming with a needâusually financial. The church is called to wisely discern: should we help, and can we help?
There are times we gather and have to say, "We can't help you financially this way, but we want to help youâbecause you've gotten yourself into this trouble, and we want to disciple you so you don't have this problem every week." Other times we say, "We'll help you pay this bill, and we'll show you how to avoid this problem again using biblical principles." But there are widows at this church who, apart from the church's financial help, would not be able to pay their bills.
Some Help Is Not Helpful
through 15 deal with younger widows. There's so much disagreement among commentators that I won't comment in depth, but Paul urges the younger widows to marry, bear children, and manage the house, giving no opportunity for the adversary.
I'll merely say this: some needs are not met by the church, and some needy people are not helped, because that assistance would not actually be helpful. Our culture has a very large social safety net, and a big part of that exists because the church has not always dealt with this issue correctly. Those safety nets often can't say, "This is something in your life that needs to be addressed so you no longer need this." But the church, as part of discipleship, is required to say, "You're a follower of Jesusâlet us help you live in a way that this does not become a perpetual need."
Family First, Church Second
Paul sums it up:
If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows. ()
If there are widows younger than sixty who have family, the family should take care of that. But if they don't, the church corporately should take care of them. This is point number five: the biblical standard of care is family first, church second.
Though the church is second in that progression, the church is often called upon to deal with these needsâwhether for widows or for people in crisis. Last year, more than $15,000 in benevolent assistance went out from this church. When you give here, a portion takes care of the benevolent needs of the church, out of our general budget.
An Invitation to Give
That's part of why we do our offering at the end of the serviceâit's a perfect illustration of what's going on. When we receive the offering, those monies go into the general fund, and some of that meets benevolent needs. Since that's the case, I would ask you to prayerfully consider giving specifically and especially, above what you would normally give, toward the benevolent needs of the church today. These things come out of our general budget anyway, but it would be a blessing to fully fund and take care of that through a special offering. You can give as we receive it, or online at lifeinconnection.com/give.
I know some people get squirrelly when we talk about moneyâbut the only ones who do are the ones who don't give. The people who give are encouraged. If you don't, God bless you, we love you, you're still welcome here.
Closing Prayer
Father, I want to praise You for how giving this church is. We have seen this church provide for needs above and beyond constantly, and I praise You for the way You have moved in our hearts, because how we handle our finances is an indication of where our hearts are. It is very clear this church is sensitive to the touch of Your Spirit.
We pray for those in needâpeople in our church right now who have had a crisis, a medical emergency, a lost job, an unexpected billâand who are hurting, concerned, and worried. Thank You that we have the body of Christ to be a support, encouragement, and tangible financial help.
We pray for this offeringâboth the normal offering for the work of this ministry here and throughout the world, and specifically the benevolence needs. We lift it into Your hands and ask that You multiply it. I trust the gifts given are given for specific cases that You know, even if no leader knows. Pour out Your Spirit and grace.
We thank You, Jesus, for the privilege of giving and for the abundance we have. So many in this room are phenomenally blessed. Every good and perfect gift comes from You; You gave us the ability to earn wages, the jobs, the homes, the goodsâultimately it's Yours, and we are stewards. Lead us as we worship You both in song and in sacrificial giving. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Would you stand with me? We're going to open our Bibles to the book of First Timothy. First Timothy is in the New Testament, right near the end of your Bible. If you don't have a Bible, you can raise your hand, and one of our ushers will bring you one. Open the very last book, Revelation, and turn to the left; you will find First Timothy.
Pastor Mark taught for me last week because I was out in Arizona at spring training. He said that either I would have a lot of baseball illustrations, which I don't, or we would start a series on Hell. So maybe we'll do that, but we actually did that a few years ago.
We are in First Timothy chapter 5, and we have an interesting passage of Scripture before us, beginning in . Paul is writing to Timothy, and he says, "Honor widows who are really widows." But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents, for this is good and acceptable to God.
Now, she who is really a widow and left alone trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. These things command that they may be blameless. If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works. If she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, and if she has diligently followed every good work.
But refuse the younger widows, for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. Besides that, they learn to be idle, wandering from house to house, and not only being idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.
Therefore, I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the home, and give no opportunity for the adversary to speak reproachfully, for some have already turned aside after.
Satan, if any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.
Well, we need to pray. Father, I pray that you would give us wisdom and understanding as we search the Scriptures and consider these things. Lord, we believe that your word is spiritually discerned, and so, Holy Spirit, you inspired it. We pray that you would give us wisdom and understanding so that we will be able to apply it to our lives. It should be very clear that we are those who are seeking to live these things out. So, speak to us today, we pray. We ask this in Jesus' name. All those that agreed said, "Amen." You can be seated.
I was having an email conversation this week with one of our elders. In that back-and-forth exchange, which included pretty long emails, we discussed some of the things in the Scriptures. In that exchange, I ended up in a passage that is very central to our church, but not only central to our church, but central to really every Bible-teaching, Jesus-following church.
It's a passage that might be familiar to you if you've been around the Bible before. It's in the book of Acts. So, if you're in First Timothy, you can turn there to the left. You'll pass a number of Paul's epistles: Ephesians, Galatians, and Romans, as well as First and Second Corinthians. Then you get to Acts. If you get to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, you've gone too far.
is a passage of Scripture that describes some of the earliest happenings in the church 2,000 years ago. The events that lead up to this verse are really important. The Apostle Peter, one of the first followers of Jesus, is preaching a message to a very large gathering, a multitude of people in the city of Jerusalem. They were gathered there for one of the great feast days of Israel called Pentecost, and an opportunity arose for Peter to be able to preach to them.
So, he preaches, and at the end of this message, there is this multitude of people before him crying out, "What should we do with this? I mean, you've given us this message; how should we respond?" He says, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, for the removal of your sins, the cleansing of your sins." The Bible says right after that, that day, three thousand people were added to the church. They went from 120 people gathered in a small room to over 3,000 people in one day. You kind of wonder, well, what...
What happened? What did they do with that? Well, it's described for us here in . Look at . describes some of how they responded. What did the church look like when they went from 120 to over 3,000? says, "And they continued steadfastly in the Apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in breaking of bread, and in prayers."
We have here the birth of the church and the events or the things that the early young church did when they were first formed. When this gathering of people came together, what did they do? It says they continued in four very important, central, and primary things as a gathering of people. They continued in the Apostles' teaching, in fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.
The Apostles' teaching was that Peter, James, John, Bartholomew, Thomas, and all the followers of Jesus, the close apostles of Jesus, would gather together on a daily basis. Especially when they gathered on the first day of the week, they would preach the Scriptures and the teachings of Jesus. The people would then go from there and be in fellowship, breaking bread. This doesn't necessarily mean partaking of communion; you might think of that when you hear "breaking of bread," but it was probably just hospitalityâgathering together to have meals with one anotherâand then praying for one another.
We could spend a lot of time going in-depth on every one of those aspects, but I just want to focus on one of the things that the early church was about: fellowship. If you want, just circle "fellowship" in your neighbor's Bible. They continued consistently, regularly, and steadfastly in fellowship.
Now, that word "fellowship" in the New Testament was originally written in Greek, and the word for fellowship is "Koinonia." If you've been around a Bible-teaching church for any length of time, you might have heard that word "Koinonia" before. In fact, sometimes churchy Christian people like us use that word casually, and non-churchy people often wonder what it means. Christians might say, "Let's get together for some Koinonia," and a non-churchgoer might respond, "What? What's Koinonia? That sounds kind of trippy."
When I say, "Well, we had some really good fellowship last night," Christians throw these words around, and if a non-Christian asks, "What does that mean?" we often just think of it as hanging out.
Churchgoers, why don't you just say, "Let's get together and hang out"? That would be valid, but Koinonia has a much deeper meaning than just hanging out. It is an important word. One of the main things that the early church did was gather together for fellowship.
What exactly is Koinonia? The description, or definition, is found in the following verses. Specifically, look at . says they continued in fellowship. states, "Now all who believed were together and had all things in common. They sold their possessions and goods and divided them among all, as anyone had need." Continuing daily with one accord, they gathered in the temple for the apostles' doctrine and broke bread from house to house. They ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all people.
Acts
Became social outcasts in Jewish society, and now that social welfare was gone, they didn't have that anymore. So, how is that taken care of? Well, it was taken care of in the form of Koinonia fellowship. They sold their possessions and goods and divided them among all as anyone had need.
Now, any good post-World War II American hears those words and thinks, "Okay, listen here, comrade. We're not into that old communism thing here." Sometimes people get a little carried away, saying, "That sounds just like communism." You have to understand there's a very clear sense in which that's exactly what was taking place. These people were taking care of the needs of those who had need within the church, and it became a very important value and a mainstay in the churchâa principle for the body of Christ. Principally, it's very important if this is something that you are inspired by the Spirit of God to do.
Now, if a government comes in and says, "We're going to force you to do that," we might all object, and rightly so. But that's not what was happening here. We are given this very clear, genuine, general principle: the church should provide for the needs of those who are genuinely in need.
Now, that brings up a quick sideline. What is the church? If the church should provide for the needs of those who are genuinely in need, what is the church? says that all those who believed were together. All those who believed were togetherâthat's the church. If you believe and trust in Jesus as your Savior and Lord, you are a part of the church. So, when we gather together as believers in Jesus, this is the church. This building is not the church; rather, this gathering together of believers is the church.
The church should provide for the needs of those who are genuinely in need. Now, that brings up a couple of questions. First, how should the church provide for those needs? Secondly, who are those who are genuinely in need? The passage that we have before us today in First Timothy chapter 5 begins to answer those questions. It is one of the New Testament passages that actually endeavors to answer the question of who are the genuinely needy and how should the church provide for them.
Those who are genuinely in need. So, go back to 1st Timothy with me, if you will. Before we jump into 1st Timothy chapter 5, we need to extend the context. We often do this when we're going through the Scriptures because we believe that the Bible will inform us as to why this is written.
The context for 1st Timothy chapter 5, through 16, is where we've been looking for many weeks. Let's look at 1st Timothy chapter 3, and 15. Just turn a couple of pages to the left and look at 1st Timothy chapter 3, . Paul there says to Timothy, "These things I write to you, though I hope to come to you shortly. But if I am delayed, I write to you for this very clear purpose: Timothy, I am writing to you so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the Church of the Living God."
Timothy was recently ordained when this was written, recently ordained to the task of overseeing a church in the city called Ephesus. Now, Paul, who had been kind of Timothy's leader, mentor, and teacher, writes this letter to him. He says, "Okay, Timothy, now that you've been ordained to the task of overseeing this church, I want to write to you some things for you to know how you should conduct yourself as the pastor and leader overseeing this church."
Now he comes to this section here in chapter 5. As a part of those exhortations and instructions about how he should lead the church, Paul says this in 1st Timothy chapter 5, : "Honor widows." I will just stop there with those first two words. Timothy, as you're pastoring this church and leading this church, honor widows.
I do think it's really important to recognize, as we read through these verses, that Paul very clearly seems to have some local knowledge about the problems that were happening in the church at Ephesus. He is addressing those problems specifically, and one of them had to do with how the church dealt with the issue of widows within the body of Christ. This is not a new problem. If you go and read through and , you will find that one of the major first problems that the church encountered was that there was a group of widows in the body of Christ in the church that were not being taken care of.
So, the church ordained seven men who were full of the Holy Spirit, full of wisdom, and who also had a good reputation. They were appointed and ordained to the task of taking care of the daily needs of some widows within the church. The problem comes up again.
Here in the time that Timothy was pastoring the church at Ephesus, Paul says to Timothy, "You need to know how to deal with this very important problem." The church needs to honor widows. In our day, the word "honor" generally means to respect and to highly value or esteem. I think we would all agree that it's a good thing to value and esteem those within the church, within the body of Christ, who are women whose husbands have died.
However, there is more to the word "honor" here than just valuing or highly esteeming those women within the church. Just about every commentator and Bible teacher, when delving into the depths of this word "honor," finds that it means more than just valuing or respecting. Paul is talking here about financially supporting and sustaining those within the body of Christ who are widows.
Now, when we put that context on it, we might wonder: does that mean that the church should provide financial sustenance and support for every woman who has lost her husband? Should the church become the de facto life insurance policy for all widows within the church? Notice what Paul says in : "Honor widows who are really widows."
Oh, wait a minute, what does this mean? I know that there are some within our church who work in the social services sector, and that is a really hard field to work in. What makes it difficult is that the needs are so abundant. There are times when those in social services have to say no, and saying no is not easy. It is a difficult thing to deny help to people, especially when we live in a culture that highly values saying yes all the time.
This is why we sometimes experience frustration in prayer. We want God to always say yes to our prayers, but He doesn't always do soâpraise God, by the way. Just as there are policies, procedures, and requirements set in place in social services today, Paul is going to set forth some principles, some policies, if you will, for how to deal with this issue. He says to honor widows, which means to financially support and sustain those who are widows, but only the widows who are really widows.
Does that mean there were women in the church pretending to be widows when their husbands weren't really dead? No, that's not what it means. There is a little more going on here, but what this reveals to us is that, as we saw in point one, the church should provide.
For the needs of those who are genuinely in need, point number two is also important. The church must wisely discern who is genuinely in need. This can be a touchy thing, but this is clearly what is seen in the Scriptures.
Going back again to , when those seven men were appointed to the task of ministering to the widows in the church, they were to identify seven men who had three qualifications: they were full of the Holy Spirit, they were full of wisdom, and they had a good reputation. I think that the second qualification, being full of wisdom, relates back to the need for the church to wisely discern those who are in need.
As a brief aside, the church, as seen in the New Testament and throughout church history, does not only give financial support to widows who are truly widows, as this passage discusses. The church also seeks to help support other groups of people who are not widows. Why are widows identified or singled out in this passage? I believe they are singled out because they are an especially vulnerable group of people within the church.
Throughout church history, the church has also supported those who are poor, sick, or disabled, among other groups. However, there are two major groups that are set aside in both the Old Testament and New Testament as especially vulnerable: the widows and the fatherless. Paul specifically focuses on the issue of widows because he had local knowledge about the church in Ephesus. Therefore, the church should wisely discern those who are genuinely in need and help them.
So, how does the church help these widows who are truly in need? Look at . He says, "Honor widows who are really widows." But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them, the children or grandchildren, first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents, for this is good and acceptable before God.
Now, she who is really a widow and left alone trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers.
Night and day, but she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. These things command that they may be blameless. If anyone does not provide for his own, especially those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Strong words.
Who is genuinely a widow, or really a widow? Every woman whose husband has died is a widow, but there is a certain classification of widows that Paul is saying the church should corporately extend support and sustenance to. Those are the ones that he is addressing. So, who are they? Well, those who are really widows. In this passage, he gives some criteria, and he is going to give some more a little bit later. The criteria is found in and 6.
Look at and 6 again: "She who is really a widow and left alone trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives." There are several things that he says are kind of policy markers for how we determine who these people are that we minister to. He says, "Hereâs the policy: we are going to support and sustain on an ongoing basis widows within the church that fit this criteria."
Number one, they have no other help. Now, she who is really a widow is left alone; she has no other help. She is effectively all alone in this world. But not only is she effectively all alone in this world, she is a believer who trusts in God. She trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, as and 6 say.
So, who should the church extend ongoing sustenance and support to among the widows? Those widows who have nobody else who can help them. They trust in God alone for their provision. They are seeking Him daily for their source of support; they seek for His daily bread as provision.
He gives this interesting little mark in : "But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives." There is a lot of discussion about what exactly that means. I think, at the very least, we can boil it down to a very simple concept here: this person who is going to receive support is not just seeking to have her pleasures fulfilled by the church. She is genuinely in need and is not just seeking that, "Well, I have so many things that Iâd really like to do, and so the church should take care of all that." No, he said they are going to take care of the needs.
There is a difference between needs and wants. In a sense, these are policy guidelines; they are like the beginnings of an algorithm for who gets the ongoing, continual support of the church.
They are truly alone. They trust solely in God, and they understand that He will take care of their needs.
Paul continues, or actually, look at verse four. This is really important: "But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents, for this is good and acceptable in the sight of God." So, how should the church help? We are identifying who the church should helpâwidows who fit this certain kind of criteria. But how should they help?
Of course, those who meet that certain criteria should be helped by the church gathering offerings to extend assistance to those in special circumstances. However, Paul tells Timothy that the church should also help by exhorting family members to take care of their own.
Point number three under the outline is that it is Christ-like for believers to provide for the needs of their own families. This isn't new. If you read through the Old Testament, you get to the second book of the Bible, the twentieth chapter, . There, we have the Ten Commandments.
Anyone ever heard of the Ten Commandments? To be more specific, four of them address our relationship with Godâthey're kind of verticalâwhile six of them address our relationship with one anotherâthey're more horizontal. One of those horizontal commandments is to honor your father and mother.
It's not just in the Old Testament; it's in the New Testament as well. Paul, in , says, "Children, obey your parents; honor your father and mother." This is right before the Lord and is the first commandment with a promise in the Bible: that it will go well with you and that you will have a long life.
We have the command of Scripture to honor our families, especially our parents, particularly a mother who has been widowed. He says that if she has children or grandchildren, then they should take care of her. It is Christ-like for believers to provide for the needs of their families.
Now, this is absolutely astounding to me. Jesus, while He was on the crossâsomething we will be celebrating in just a couple of weeksâwhat was going through His mind? It is revealed in some of the things He says, known as the sayings of Jesus on the cross. One of them is recorded in the Gospel of John. John, one of Jesus's disciples, writes this about Jesus's last moments on the cross. He says in , , "Now there stood by the cross of Jesus..."
Jesus' mother, whose name was Mary, was there, along with his mother's sister, Mary, the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. There are a lot of Marys in this account. So, Mary, his mother, is present as Jesus is on the cross. He looks at her, and she is likely weeping.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved, as recorded in , I absolutely love how John, who is writing this, always refers to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved. It's just wonderful. Jesus sees his mother and the disciple, John, and he says to his mother, "Woman, behold your son." Then, in , he says to the disciple, "Behold your mother." From that hour, the disciple took her to his own home.
This is amazing. Most Bible teachers and commentators believe that at this point, when Jesus was on the cross, his earthly father, Joseph, had died, and Mary was a widow. One of the things on Jesus' mind while he was dying for our sins was the welfare of his widowed mother. This is a significant consideration. If you are not concerned about the welfare of your family, especially if you have a widowed mother, you are not very Christ-like.
In fact, John, who was the one hearing this, writes decades later in , "But whoever has the world's goods and sees his brother in need and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in that person?" He continues, "My little children, let us not love in word and tongue, but in deed and truth." It might be a hard thing to say, but I don't think it is completely off to say that you are not Christ-like if you do not have concern for the needs of your family. These may be strong words, but they are important to consider.
Look at what Paul says in . He commands that those who have family members should take care of them so that they may be blameless. In , he states, "If anyone does not provide for his own, especially those of his own household, he has denied the faith."
Faith is essential, and Paul emphasizes that if someone does not care for the welfare of others, he is worse than an unbeliever. It's important to recognize that around the year 14 A.D., approximately fifty years before this letter was written, the Roman Emperor Augustus had already established social welfare in the Roman Empire. We often think of the Roman Empire as a wicked pagan place, and it was indeed very wicked. However, even those wicked pagans in Rome believed that people should take care of the welfare of others. Therefore, it would not be off to say that if you are not concerned about the welfare of others, you are worse than a Roman pagan. This is exactly what Paul states: you are worse than an unbeliever if you do not do this.
Paul's instructions continue in , where he writes, "Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number." When we read "taken into the number," it is clear that the early church in Ephesus, and probably in other places, maintained a list of those who were to be cared for by the church. They were administering the situation of taking care of widows. Paul specifies that a widow must be at least sixty years old to be included on this list.
Additionally, there are further qualifications. The widow must be completely alone in this world, fully trusting in God. She must recognize that she is looking to the church to support her needs. If she is below sixty years old, Paul instructs not to allow her to be on the roll unless she has been the wife of one man, is well reported for good works, has brought up children, has lodged strangers, has washed the saints' feet, has relieved the afflicted, and has diligently followed every good work.
He provides seven exhortations or qualifications for those who are to receive help. This ties back to the earlier point that the church must wisely discern who is genuinely in need. Paul describes genuinely needy widows as those who truly have no one else to help them, who trust in God for their provision, and who seek the church's assistance. They must be elderly, above sixty years old, have taken care of the church, exercised good works, and been faithful to their husbands while they were alive. All of these requirements highlight the importance of good works and a godly witness.
Good works and a godly witness are worthy of honor and reward. The Bible makes it very clear that you will be rewarded in eternity by Jesus for your good works and your godly witness. In this life, these widows, who without the support of the body of Christ, the church, would not be able to survive, are also worthy of honor and reward.
It's not just widows; the church helps people beyond that. It is not only okay, but as Paul writes, it is required that church leaders consider the conduct and witness of those they will benevolently help. Rarely does a week go by here at Cross-Connection Church without someone from the body of Christ being in need. Sometimes they'll call, email, or come in to meet with a pastor. They might say, "Listen, we've got this issue, this problem," most often financial.
In that situation, the church is called upon to wisely discern whether we should help and if we can help. Thank God we can! We go through and consider where that person is in their life. Quite frankly, there are times when we gather together and have to say, "No, we can't help you financially," but we want to assist you in another way because you've gotten yourself into this trouble.
We apply this principle to disciple them to the point where they don't face this problem every single week. Sometimes we say, "Listen, we're going to help you financially to pay this bill and deal with this problem, and we will show you how to avoid getting into this situation again using biblical principles."
However, there are some people, including widows within the church, who have no other support and cannot take care of themselves. The church steps in to help support and sustain them. Do you realize that there are actually widows in this church who, apart from the church's financial help, would not be able to pay their bills? We follow through with the Scriptures.
As Paul goes on, he addresses a topic that has generated much disagreement among commentators. I am not going to comment extensively on it, but he states, "But refuse the younger widows, for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, having condemnation because they have cast off their faith."
First, faith is important. Besides that, people learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house. Not only are they idle, but they also become gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to say. Therefore, I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, and give no opportunity for the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some have already turned aside after Satan.
I will merely say this: some needs are not met by the church, and some needy people are not helped by the church because that assistance is not helpful. I think we all acknowledge this. Our culture has a very large social safety net, and I would say a big part of that exists because the church has not dealt with this issue correctly. In our culture, we have this big social safety net, and a lot of times, those social safety nets are not able to say, "Listen, this is something in your life that needs to be addressed," and then you wouldn't need this social service anymore.
The church is required, as a part of discipleship, to say, "Listen, you're a follower of Jesus, and let us help you see how you can live your life in a way that this does not become something that you need perpetually." That's an issue of discipleship. Paul sums it up in of : "If any believing man or woman has widows..." If you're a Christian today and there's someone in your life close to you who is a widow, let the Christians relieve them. Do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.
So, what is he saying? If there are widows who fit into the classification of being younger than 60 and they do have family, then the family should take care of them. However, if they don't have that, then the church corporately should take care of the widows.
Point number five on your outline: the biblical standard of care is family first, church second. Though the church is second in that kind of progression of care, it is often called upon to deal with these needs, whether it's for widows or people who have some sort of crisis or issue that comes up in their life. The church is there to support that. Last year, we provided more than $15,000 in benevolent assistance from the church. When you give here at Cross-Connection Church, a portion of what you're giving is used to take care of the benevolent needs of the church.
The general budget is part of the reason why we're doing our offering at the end of the service. It's a perfect illustration of what's going on. When we receive the offering in just a few minutes, the worship team is going to come up, and the ushers are going to come to receive the offering and your prayer cards. If you have your prayer cards this morning, when we receive that offering, those funds will go into the general fund for the most part, unless they are designated somewhere else. Some of that will address benevolent needs.
Since that's the case, on top of receiving our normal offering, many of you came here today prepared to give. Some of you may not have, but I would ask you to prayerfully consider giving specifically and specially above what you would normally give to the benevolent needs of the church today. Those needs will come out of our general budget anyway, but it would be a blessing to the church as a whole if we could fully fund that through a special offering.
What I'm going to ask you to do is this: the worship team is going to come back up, and we're going to pray in just a moment. After that, the ushers are going to come to receive the offering. I would ask you to prayerfully consider if the Lord would move you to help specifically for that. Some of you give regularly all the time, while some of you only give when there is a specific need. I'm sharing with you a specific need in the area of benevolent assistance, which we are commanded to address in the Scriptures. You can give as you normally do when we receive it, or you can give online at lifeinconnection.com/give.
I know some people get kind of uncomfortable when we talk about money, but the only people who do are those who don't give. Those who give are like, "Hey, praise the Lord! The pastor's talking about it!" They feel encouraged; it's awesome. If you don't give, God bless you. We love you, and you're still welcome here, but you might feel uncomfortable.
Let's pray. Father, Iâll get emails on that one. Lord, we thank You for Your grace. I just want to praise You for a moment for how giving this church is. We have seen this church provide for needs above and beyond constantly, and I just want to praise You, Lord, for the way that You have moved in our hearts. It is an indication of where our hearts are and how we handle our finances. Looking at the way that this church gives, it's very clear that this church is sensitive to the touch of Your Spirit. I thank You for that.
Lord, we pray for those who are in need. There are people in our church right now who have had a crisis recently, maybe a medical crisis.
Many people face difficult situations, such as losing a job or encountering an unexpected bill. When something doesn't come through, it can leave them in a place of hurt, concern, and worry. I thank God that we have the body of Christ, the church, to provide support and encouragement, as well as tangible financial help.
We pray for this offering that we are about to give. This is the normal offering for the work of the ministry of this church, both here and throughout the world. We also specifically lift up the benevolence needs into Your hands. We pray that You would multiply it. Lord, I trust that the gifts given are for very specific individual cases that You know, even if I may not know or other leaders may not know. You know exactly why these gifts are being given.
We ask that You would pour out Your Spirit and grace upon this offering. We thank You, Jesus, for the privilege it is to give and for the abundance we have. So many of us in this room are phenomenally blessed, and we thank You for that. Every good and perfect gift comes from You. You gave us the ability to earn wages, and we praise You for that. We are grateful for the jobs we have, the homes we have, and all the goods we possess. Ultimately, it is all Yours; we are merely stewards.
As we give this offering to You, we pray that You would lead us as we worship You, both in song and in sacrificial giving. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Now, let us sing to the Lord as we receive the offering. If you have prayer cards, you can leave those as well.
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