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I desire therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. Let a woman learn in silence with all subjection... nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control. (1 Timothy 2:8–15)

A hard passage about men and women that turns out to put the first demand on the men.

A Passage the Culture Hates

Well, there you have it—God is misogynistic, or Paul is a misogynist, a member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club. The Bible, some will say, is a 2,000-year-old work of men who wanted to maintain the status quo of a hierarchical, repressive society against women. It does not align with our 21st-century progressive values, especially all we've accomplished in the area of liberation since the 1960s. So this book—and especially passages like this one—is considered by some a danger to society. And if this passage is a danger, then this place is a danger, and I, the teacher, am public enemy number one.

There is no question this is a difficult passage—difficult to understand, even more difficult to preach in our current cultural context. I was tempted to skip ahead to chapter 3 and say, "Go read the commentaries." But I can't, because chapter 3 follows from what we're reading here. Verses 8–15 cannot be understood apart from chapter 3. These go together as one teaching, dealing with leadership and servants within the church.

Is the Bible Really to Blame?

Why does 21st-century Western culture have such an issue with what the Bible says about gender and roles? Because many look at a passage like this and say it is the cause of inequity and indignity for women. On that point I object. If the Bible were truly the cause of the repression of females, then parts of the world least influenced by it should be the champions of women's rights. But the opposite is true.

Go to the tribalistic, animistic cultures of Africa and you see severe repression of women in male-dominated societies. Go to the Middle East, under the teaching of the Quran and Islam for many centuries, and you see the repression of women. Continue east to India, the largest nation in the world, shaped for centuries by Hinduism with its 330 million gods—there is no gender equality, and New Delhi has for years been called the rape capital of the world.

Continue to the Far East, shaped by Buddhism. One ancient Buddhist teaching says the appropriate aim of a woman is to aspire to be reborn as a man, being born female being the result of bad karma. In secular China, with great influence from Confucius and Buddhism, women have clearly not had high value—under the one-child policy, female infanticide was common, and once we could determine the sex of a baby before birth, abortion became standard for many couples carrying a girl.

So you cannot, with a straight face, say the Bible is to blame when this is the reality the world over. The Bible does tell us why: we live in a broken world because of sin. There is inequity and indignity the world over because the world is fallen, and so throughout history women have suffered simply for being women.

A Word About Our Own Culture

Might I be so bold—and maybe get into more trouble—and point out this: when, in 21st-century Western culture, women cry foul about the indignities they suffer here, there is a sense in which it's like Californians complaining about the rain. There is some rain, but relatively little. Compared to other cultures of the world, the indignities suffered here are not very many. That is not to say we have none. Just this last week one of the kingpins of Hollywood was rightly brought down for his mistreatment of women, and he should be prosecuted, and we should all say amen to that. These things happen; it's the unfortunate reality of a broken, fallen world.

If the Bible contains the gospel, the good news for humanity, then where it has gone we should expect the value and dignity of women to be elevated. And that is exactly what we see. In every culture where the dignity of women has been championed and moved upward, you find the influence of the Bible. Secular social scientists should acknowledge that truth, though they often don't.

Hard Sayings Are Hard for a Reason

How do we approach a hard text like this? And there are several—Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, and others all deal with gender roles in the kingdom of God. First, we must acknowledge it is hard. A number of people this week asked, "Are you really going to go there?" Yes—because that's what we do here. We go through the Bible, because all Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness, that the man or woman of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Even this passage is useful.

Point one on your outline: hard sayings are hard for a reason. Big problems never have easy solutions; if they had easy solutions, they wouldn't be big problems. The brokenness of this world, the result of sin, is a big problem—so we come to hard sayings, and they are hard for a reason.

Four Ways to Approach a Hard Text

There are at least four presuppositions we can bring. First: the Bible is good, and any disagreement I have is probably due to my misunderstanding or someone's misuse. Second: the Bible is mostly good, but some places are overly influenced by the native culture of the writers, so not all of it can be trusted. Third: the Bible is an ancient understanding, mostly unhelpful for our progressive culture. Fourth: the Bible is wrong and dangerous, and we've progressed beyond our need for it.

There is a loud group pushing that fourth view—Richard Dawkins, the late Christopher Hitchens, who wrote God Is Not Great, and Sam Harris, who appears on Bill Maher's show and hosts a popular podcast I'll admit I find interesting. Their position is that the Bible is immoral and dangerous and should be kept from people. Dawkins has even said Christian parents who teach their kids the Bible should be prosecuted for child abuse. Most people land somewhere among these four points.

You would rightly assume I hold the first view: the Bible is good, and any disagreement I have is due to misunderstanding or misapplication. And we should be honest—passages like this have been misused, sometimes intentionally to uphold a position, sometimes out of ignorance. But you can take something good and give it to someone whose heart is wrong, or who is ignorant, and they will misuse it, even to the harm of others. Misuse of a good thing does not make the thing bad. So we approach these passages delicately, seeking proper understanding so we can properly apply them—because they were written for our good by our good God.

The Context: How to Conduct Ourselves in God's House

Every text outside its context is just a pretext—a con. So what is the context? One page to the right, in 1 Timothy 3:14–15, Paul tells us:

These things I write to you... so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.

Paul had left Timothy in Ephesus to set a struggling church back on course. So he writes: here is how you should conduct yourself in the church, and how to instruct the leaders. In chapter 1 Paul addressed sound doctrine. Opening chapter 2 he addressed the priority of prayer. Now in verses 8–15 he addresses the proper place and role of men and women. Then chapter 3 deals with overseers and deacons. All of it is so we might know how to conduct ourselves in the house of God.

Point two: God determines what is proper for His people. Some in our culture refuse to live under His rule, and that is their choice—but everything has a consequence. One benefit of being in God's kingdom is eternal life, and the kingdom endures forever. There is no eternal life outside His kingdom; the Bible describes eternal damnation there. You can say, "I don't want His rule"—that's fine—but God determines what is proper for His people, so we should seek to understand and align ourselves with what He wants.

God Has a Word for the Men First

I desire therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. (1 Timothy 2:8)

Point three: godly men do godly things in every place. That word "everywhere" is, in the original, three words—"in every place." If you are a Christian man, God through Paul has a word for you: be a man of God who does spiritual things in every place, not just gathered here. The priority of prayer in the church should change how men live out in the world daily.

And men, if we think the teachings for women in Ephesians 5, 1 Timothy 2, and 1 Peter 3 are important, we should expect these teachings to us are important too. You cannot expect a woman to follow the patterns of Scripture if you are not following the patterns spoken to you. So if you came today thinking, "Finally he's going to give it to them"—sorry, not sorry. God has a word for us guys first.

Holy Hands in Every Place

"Holy hands" is not mainly about posture. The idea reaches back into the Old Testament: when you appear before God, your hands are holy because they have not been given to unholy things. It means you don't live one life at the temple and another all week.

In Isaiah 1, God speaks against Israel for exactly this dualism—false worship on idol altars all week, then bringing offerings to His house:

When you spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood.

Not literal blood—their hands were given to unrighteousness all week. In Isaiah 59 He says their iniquities have separated them; their hands are defiled. And Ezekiel 23 explains the source: "they have committed adultery, and blood is on their hands"—adultery with their idols, even sacrificing their children, then coming the same day to defile God's sanctuary.

So when Paul says men should pray everywhere with holy hands, the idea is: don't give yourself to idolatry elsewhere and then come to church as if everything is fine. What is the great objection non-Christians have against the church? It's full of hypocrites—people who live a dualistic life, holy here but not outside these walls. Men, are you engaged in the things of the Spirit in every place, or only here?

Working Out the Holiness God Has Given

How do we get holy hands? By grace God makes us holy internally. He who knew no sin became sin for us, that we might be the righteousness of God in Christ. We stand holy and blameless before God—but we often do not stand holy before people. So how does it become part of our lives?

Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12–13)

God gave you the salvation; you have to work it out—like muscles He created in your body that only show when you exercise them. Paul tells Timothy bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things. So exercise yourself in godliness. God already saved you and made you holy inside; He wants you to work it out so people see the holiness muscles coming through. The praying Christian man should be known for the distinctive quality of holiness in every place.

Without Wrath

He also says, pray "without wrath." The natural disposition of fallen men is to be temperamental and easily angered. But by God's grace, the Christian man has a new nature: if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, all things have become new. So we do what is proper for men professing godliness with good works.

It may not be evident now, but I was once a temperamental person—my family in the front row will confirm it. As a fifteen-year-old freshman I had a bad temper. God used a natural thing to reveal it: we watched Schindler's List in ninth grade, and I realized I identified more with the cruel Nazi commandant than with Oskar Schindler. It bothered me. I prayed, "Lord, I don't want to be like that," and I discovered God had already given me, by His Spirit, the ability not to be—but I had to do something.

Galatians 5 says the works of the flesh are evident, and one of them is "outbursts of wrath." Be honest—anyone here ever had an outburst of wrath? That's a work of the flesh; it came from you, not from God's Spirit. But the fruit of the Spirit is longsuffering, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. "If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." So when I prayed not to be temperamental, the answer was: walk in the Spirit, not fulfilling the desires of the flesh. Having a bad day does not give you the right to be a jerk. It may make clear that you are one, but it doesn't give you the right.

Point four: godly men walk in the Spirit, and it shows in every place. The praying Christian man should have a distinctive life marked by holiness, the new nature, without wrath, the old nature.

Without Disputing

He also says "without doubting"—some versions read "without disputing." There's debate over the meaning. Is it praying without lack of faith? Maybe. Or is it without being defensive and quarrelsome? I think it's probably the latter, because the very next thing in Philippians 2 after "work out your own salvation" is, "Do all things without complaining and disputing"—the exact same word. Is your life, Christian man, characterized by disputes and defensiveness that lead to outbursts of wrath? It shouldn't be.

Driving down here yesterday for the men's breakfast on the curvy two-lane Sand Canyon Road, a little red sporty car with tinted windows came flying around me over the double yellow line on a blind curve, giving me one up as he passed. My first inclination was not godly—but I thank God for the Spirit of God in me as a restraining influence. Ephesians 4 says put on the new man, created in righteousness and true holiness, and put off the old man marked by anger, wrath, malice, and the rest. As much as possible, live at peace with all people.

Godly Men Seek Peace and Pursue It

Point five: godly men seek peace and pursue it. That phrase comes from 1 Peter 3, quoting the Psalms:

He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. (1 Peter 3:10–12)

Who wouldn't love to live a good life and see good days? Here is the step-by-step way.

This is probably not the message you expected today, but I believe it's the message God has for us. We cannot honestly enter the passage about a woman's proper conduct in the church if we don't first start with what God says to men: we who profess godliness need to live out holiness—not perfectly, but seeking by God's grace and power to live it out in every place, without wrath and without disputing. By God's grace, that can happen.

Closing Prayer

Father, thank You for Your grace. It was by Your grace that You saved us, brought us near, and made us holy. None of us could make ourselves righteous by our own works, but Jesus, You did what we could not do, so that we could stand before You in holiness. I pray, God, that we would not only be holy before You because of Your finished work, but that we would work out that holiness before our peers, that they would see righteousness and holiness as part of our lives—maybe even to their surprise, because they knew us before and now they know us after. Do that work in us, that we would shine brightly, that people would see our good works and glorify You, our Father in heaven. God, make this a reality in my life and in the lives of my brothers here today. We ask this in Jesus' name, and all those who agreed said, "Amen."