Gratitude

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

When gratitude is the secret to joy, Thanksgiving must become a way of life—not merely a day to get things at a good deal.

Thanksgiving Hijacked

Thanksgiving 2011 has come and gone. The turkey carcass may still be in your trash can, the Black Friday deals are history, and the retailers of our nation are adding up their profits. We are now just 28 days from Christmas, and tomorrow we'll be told in the news whether it has been a good start to the retail season. This day, set apart annually in our nation for the giving of thanks, has in many ways become a consumer benchmark—merely the opportunity to get a good deal on those things we're convinced will bring us happiness.

The problem, as we've been seeing over the last several weeks while considering the topic of joy, is that the things we can absorb and obtain in this life don't ultimately bring happiness. Especially when the new year comes and you look over the credit card statements and realize that the happy trinkets you bought were bought with money you don't have. Your joy turns to grief, and you spend the next eleven months paying it down so you can do it again. Giving of thanks has been exchanged for getting things at a really good deal.

Materialism, the Dominant Religion

Sadly, the dominant religion in America today is materialism. That is observably clear if you look around our nation. We have been convinced that happiness will come through possessing things—otherwise we wouldn't so wholeheartedly pursue them. But if we know experientially that such things do not ultimately bring happiness, why do we continue in the cycle, proving the words of Jesus true in Luke 12:15, that a man's life consists not in the abundance of the things which he possesses?

Once again we are confronted with a truth of God that comes into tension with our culture. The joy of life does not increase merely by the increase of goods. There may be some pleasure when we get more things, but it drops off as soon as whatever we bought is replaced by something better and cheaper. If joy came from goods, we should be the happiest people in America, and yet that's just not the case.

Gratitude Is the Multiplier

Furthermore, an increase of goods coupled with a decrease of gratitude actually results in a loss of joy. If you get more stuff but aren't grateful—because you expected it or worked so hard for it—your joy decreases. The inverse is also true: a decrease of goods with an increase of gratitude raises joy. We know this because when we go on mission trips to poverty-stricken nations, we see people who have so little and yet have such joy. Returning missionaries often experience culture shock, asking, "What is wrong? They have so little and have joy, and we have so much and don't."

So the increase of goods does not equal the increase of joy, but the increase of gratitude does. Joy is proportional to the increase of gratitude. This makes Thanksgiving—not just the holiday, but Thanksgiving as a way of life—incredibly important. Gratitude potentially becomes a very important element in greater joy in our lives, and that is what we're talking about. We are looking for the key to unlocking joy.

Blaise Pascal said all men desire happiness, and that desire doesn't go away when you become a follower of Jesus. We've seen that Jesus is the key to unlocking happiness; He has opened the way. As Psalm 16:11 says, "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

The Secret of Gratitude

Well-known talk radio host Dennis Prager wrote a book several years ago called Happiness Is a Serious Problem. On page 59 he writes: "Yes, there is a secret to happiness, and it is gratitude. All happy people are grateful, and ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that it is being unhappy that leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that it is complaining that leads people to become unhappy." Then he writes, "Become grateful and you will become a much happier person."

So one day a year we have a holiday given to gratitude. That should be a good thing if we are pursuing happiness. Yet it is regrettable that thanksgiving is emphasized only one day a year, and devastating that the holiday has been hijacked by consumerism, where we focus not on the giving of thanks but on the getting of things.

Now, don't get me wrong—I'm just as much of a penny pincher as the next person. I love a good deal; it's almost the American way to get more for your money. We have one day a year that has become the longest day of the year, now starting at 9 p.m. on Thursday—a 27-hour marathon. If you worked retail this weekend, may the Lord be with you; you probably have post-traumatic stress disorder. Who wouldn't want a 42-inch LCD for $199, or a ping-pong table for $88? We phrase it spiritually—"I'm just being a good steward of my money." But the problem is we won't find ultimate joy in those things, and we shouldn't be happy only for getting a good deal on Black Friday.

When Consumerism Infects the Gospel

This consumer commercialism has also permeated the gospel, infecting the way we share Christ. You'll hear Jesus presented as if He's the greatest Black Friday deal: "Come to Jesus, and you'll get health, you'll get wealth, and He'll throw in prosperity too." Some people teach that in our nation. Where did it come from? From that cultural bent toward consumerism.

So a person takes the offer of Christ anticipating an increase of goods, devoid of gratitude—and so their joy decreases. They walk away saying, "I didn't get what you told me I'd get from Jesus. I tried that Jesus thing; it didn't work for me." That is a sign of this culture infecting the way we share Christ. Such a person never experiences the promise of full joy, and they depart unhappily, defaming Jesus and the gospel. Have you ever met a gospel slanderer? It's not because He's not a good God; it's because we have the wrong view of Him.

Dennis Prager is Jewish, and I'll give him grace because he doesn't yet recognize that Jesus is the key to joy. A good friend of mine who oversees a Christian ministry in Santa Barbara is friends with Prager and shares Christ with him often—I'm hoping he comes to the faith. But Prager is right that the more you give thanks, the more you experience joy, and the less you give thanks, the more unhappy you'll be.

Why Many Christians Lack Full Joy

Webster's defines joy as "the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune, or by the prospect of possessing what one desires." But the joy we're seeking is full and enduring—not circumstantial and not fleeting. Jesus is the way, God is the source, yet many Christians do not possess this joy. Jesus' words in John 15:11 hold an uncertainty: "These things have I spoken unto you, that My joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." His desire is that His joy would overflow in us, yet many Christians say, "Mine is not full."

Why? We've looked at two reasons. First, many Christians seek happiness in things other than God. They read that in His presence is fullness of joy but aren't sure they believe it, so they pursue happiness elsewhere. They commit the two evils of Jeremiah 2:13—forsaking the fountain of living waters and hewing out for themselves broken cisterns that can hold no water.

Second, many believe the lie that the desire for happiness is wrong, and that the goal of Christianity is self-denial and death. In that, Christianity bears similarities to Buddhism, which is all about eliminating desire. But the Bible reveals that self-denial is part of the Christian faith not as the goal but as the process—letting go of things that don't bring ultimate happiness so we may lay hold of what does. This is the man in Jesus' parable who finds treasure in a field and joyfully sells all he has to gain it, because it is a far greater treasure.

A third reason remains: many Christians believe these truths but still don't experience joy because they are not practically developing in their lives the things that promote the increase of joy.

Gratitude Cannot Be Willed

Prager says, "Become grateful and you will become a much happier person." He's right—but the problem is that gratitude is not something we can will into our lives. If I just think happy thoughts, look in the mirror, and command myself to be grateful, it doesn't work, because gratitude is a responsive emotion.

Let me illustrate. Imagine you're driving 65 on the freeway, and a spare tire bounces out of a truck bed and comes toward you. In that moment, do you have to consciously ask, "Should I now be filled with anxiety"? No—there is an immediate emotive response of fear. Now try to will yourself calm in that moment: "I will now be calm; everything is perfect." It doesn't work. There are things that aid calmness—pulling someone aside, a drink of water, breathing exercises—but our sheer will is incredibly ineffective.

The apostle Paul observes the same dynamic in Romans 7. "For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do" (v. 15). "For the will is present with me, but how to perform that which is good I find not" (v. 18). "Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me" (v. 20). There is something deep within us completely unresponsive to our will. We say, "I will not do that any longer," and keep doing it. The same works with gratitude: "I will now be grateful," and there is a lack of gratitude.

So is Prager commending something unattainable? Is he giving us vain counsel? I don't think so. Just as there are things that aid calmness, there are things that promote gratitude—and that gratitude results in joy.

Every Command Is a Promise for Our Joy

Before we look at those things, write this down: we must recognize that all the commands of the Bible are ultimately promises for our joy.

If it is true that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him, and if it is true that God's chief goal is His own glory—which the Bible makes very clear—then it follows that God desires us to be satisfied in Him, for in our satisfaction He receives the greatest glory. Therefore God's commands will always be in line with the things that bring Him glory, which means His commands are also the things that bring us the most joy. God's commands are promises to us for our greatest joy.

The enemy, whom John 8 calls the father of lies, has seduced humanity into believing that God is the cosmic killjoy holding us back. The first lie in Genesis 3 is exactly this: "Is God messing with you? He knows that if you eat, you'll be like Him." So the enemy says, "Don't covet, don't lust, don't commit adultery—those things would make you happy, but God is just taking away your joy." We see this with our own children: tell them not to do something, and they're convinced you're keeping them from happiness. The reality is that God is not a killjoy at all—He is opposed to everything that kills joy.

Ten Commands to Give Thanks

Consider ten commands in the Psalms. Psalm 30:4—"Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holiness." Psalm 50:14—"Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High." Psalm 95:2—"Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving." Psalm 97:12—"Rejoice in the LORD, ye righteous; and give thanks at the remembrance of His holiness." Psalm 100:4—"Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name."

Psalm 105:1—"Give thanks unto the LORD; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people." Psalm 106:1, 107:1, and 108:1 all begin, "Give thanks unto the LORD, for He is good: for His mercy endureth forever." And Psalm 147:7—"Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God."

Every one of these is a call to worship and also a command. There are dozens more like them throughout the Bible. We are commanded to have gratitude. But again, gratitude is an emotive response—it cannot simply be willed.

Forced Gratitude Is No Gratitude

Imagine a little boy on his birthday opening grandma's package to find socks and underwear. He's not happy. Mom says, "Billy, what do we say to grandma?" and with a long face he says, "Thank you, grandma." There's no joy, no gratitude—and grandma is not honored. Such dutiful gratitude is honoring God with our lips while our hearts are far from Him, exactly what God judged Israel for in Isaiah.

John Piper says we call a person an ingrate when words of gratitude are dutifully forced instead of coming spontaneously from the heart. God wants the praise of our hearts, and when praise is in our hearts, it overflows from our lips, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. So we can't will it—but God still says, "Be thankful; sing praises to Me."

Is God a Vain Old Woman in Heaven?

One could look at these commands and ask: Does God just need constant affirmation? Does He need a horde of admirers always telling Him how great He is? C.S. Lewis felt exactly this stumbling block before he became a believer. In Reflections on the Psalms he writes, "When I first began to draw near to belief in God... I found a stumbling block in the demand so clamorously made by all religious people that we should praise God... We all despise the man who demands continual assurance of his own virtue, intelligence... A picture at once ludicrous and horrible, both of God and of His worshipers, threatened to appear in my mind." He even saw God as an old vain woman in heaven endlessly needing affirmation.

Then Lewis saw what he had missed: "The most obvious fact about praise—whether of God or anything—strangely escaped me. I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless... deliberately brought in check. The world rings with praise—lovers praising their mistresses, readers their favorite poet, walkers praising the countryside, players praising their favorite game." He noticed that "the humblest and most balanced minds praised most, while the cranks, misfits, and malcontents praised least," and that "just as men spontaneously praise whatever they value, so they spontaneously urge others to join them in praising it. Isn't she lovely? Wasn't it glorious? Don't you think that magnificent?"

The psalmist, in telling everyone to praise God, is doing what all men do when they speak of what they love. Lewis concludes: "I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation... The delight is incomplete till it is expressed." It's frustrating to discover a new author and have no one to tell, or to come upon a mountain valley of unexpected grandeur and have to keep silent. Our joy is increased and completed when it overflows in worship and calls others into that glory.

So consummate joy is found in delightful gratitude and praise. Worship completes our joy. When God says, "Enter into His courts with thanksgiving," He commands it because He deserves glory and desires our joy.

How to Generate Gratitude

So how do we generate gratitude when it's an emotive response? Go back to little Billy. Imagine he opens the present and it's not socks but the remote-controlled airplane he's been longing for. Does mom have to say, "Billy, what do we say to grandma"? Not for a second—immediately his heart overflows into pure joy: "Thank you, grandma! This is what I wanted!" And for weeks afterward, every time he plays with it, his heart says, "Thank you, grandma."

That's how we aid the generation of gratitude: by opening the gift and delighting in all we have and hold in Christ. And what do we have? First Timothy 6:17 says He has given us all things richly to enjoy. Second Peter 1:3 says He has granted us all things that pertain to life and godliness. Ephesians 1:3 says He has given us every spiritual blessing in heavenly places. James 1:17 says every good and perfect gift comes from Him.

When one fails to recognize the greatness of the gifts—which point back to the awesomeness of the Giver—he is far less likely to be filled with gratitude, and therefore lacks joy. So we promote gratitude by considering Him and all He has done.

Simon and the Sinful Woman

At Simon the Pharisee's house, a sinful woman came in, and with tears streaming down she took the most costly thing she had—an alabaster box of oil—and poured it out on Jesus, washing His feet with her hair in pure worship. No doubt she was the most joyful person in that room. Simon thought, "If this Jesus were a prophet, He would know what kind of woman this is."

Jesus told him a parable of two debtors and asked which would love more. Simon answered rightly: "I suppose the one who was forgiven more." Jesus said, "You have well said—for he that is forgiven little, loves little." The one who recognizes the greatness of the gift received brings greater gratitude, and his joy is made full. Was Simon less of a sinner than the woman? No—but he thought himself to be because of his religious offering. It was all lip service; his heart was not engaged. Jesus was pleading with him to recognize that all he had he did not deserve.

The secret to gratitude is to constantly behold the greatness of the glory of God as manifested through the beauty of His Son. Hebrews 12:3—consider Him.

Remember His Works

Let me read a few psalms in closing. Psalm 77:11—"I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember Thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all Thy work, and talk of Thy doings." Why? Because in talking about all the good things God does, I bring to mind how great He is—and when I do, gratitude wells up and releases into worship in spirit and truth, and my joy excels.

Psalm 105:1–4—"O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon His name: make known His deeds... talk ye of all His wondrous works... seek His face evermore. Remember His marvellous works that He hath done." First Samuel 12:24—"Consider how great things He hath done for you." Psalm 143:5—"I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Thy works; I muse on the work of Thy hands." When I do, gratitude is released, manifested through the lips in worship; and in worship joy is increased and God is glorified.

One more—Psalm 103: "Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies... As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear Him... But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him." How do we worship God and bring forth gratitude to Him? By remembering His wonderful works—forget not all His benefits.

The Key to Joy

The key to unlocking joy is Jesus. He has shown us the path of full and enduring joy. Many in this world have rejected the source of that joy to find broken cisterns that hold no water. Many Christians think the whole goal of their faith is constant self-denial, when in fact self-denial is the path to maximal joy in Christ—the losing of rubbish, the counting of all things as dung that we might gain Christ, in whom is maximal joy (Philippians 3).

Yet many who believe these things still don't experience increasing joy, because they don't practically do the things that promote it. Gratitude promotes joy, and we can't manufacture it. So don't come to church and grit your teeth—"I'll sing this song I don't like to make God happy," or put money in the offering grudgingly. God loves a cheerful giver because He wants you to be happy.

Meditate upon His faithfulness, goodness, grace, mercy, kindness, and love. Remember His wondrous works and think upon them all day long—and talk of them, even to unbelievers. Tell them how good God is. They'll look at you like you're crazy, but they may well get saved, because they want joy too. It's not found in this world, nor apart from Christ—but may it be found in us.

Closing Prayer

Father, work these things into our lives, that we would know in You this joy we're studying. Let this joy radiate from our lives so that people who don't know You would want to know You because they see Your goodness. Lord, teach us what it means to find in You full and enduring joy. Remind us today and this week; help us to meditate upon the great things You have done, that our hearts would overflow with gratitude, our lips pour forth with worship, and our joy increase. God, be merciful unto us and bless us; cause Your face to shine upon us, that Your way may be known in all the earth, Your saving health among all nations. Let the people praise You, O God; let all the people praise You. Let the nations be glad and sing for joy, for You shall judge the people righteously and govern the nations of the earth. Then shall the earth yield her increase, and God, even our own God, shall bless us. Do this in us, we pray, in Jesus' name. Amen.