Philippians 3:1

And the Lord God said... "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him." ...Then the Lord God made the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. And the man said... "This one will be called woman, for she was taken from man." ...Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame. (Genesis 2:18, 22–25)

Why life in connection with one another is not optional but woven into who God made us to be.

It Is Not Good to Be Alone

Life in connection with one another is part of our mission at Cross Connection Church, and the first question is why. Why does it matter?

In Genesis 2, the Lord placed the man in the Garden of Eden and gave him one command—do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him." Notice the timing: this is before sin. Everything is perfect, everything is good, except for one thing. God looked at that and said it is not good.

And, as with nearly everything, God realizes this long before Adam does. So He leads Adam to the same conclusion through circumstances. He forms every animal and bird and brings them to Adam to name. As Adam names the rooster and the hen, the boar and the sow, the bull and the cow, he sees that everything comes in a pair—and he is alone. "But for man, no helper was found corresponding to him."

So God causes a deep sleep to come over Adam, takes a rib, and forms the woman. And Adam says, "This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." That "at last" tells us it took a while. There they were, naked and unashamed—no distance, no defense, no hiding from each other. Everything wide open. That is not the case for us now. God Himself is community—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three distinct persons in one God—and He created us for community. It is not good for us to be alone.

It Is Hard to Be Together

Adam and Eve had one rule. Wouldn't life be easier with one rule? And yet they broke it. The moment they ate, "the eyes of both were opened, and they knew they were naked. So they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves." The first thing they realized was, I need to protect myself. Now there is shame, hiding, embarrassment. Sin enters and wrecks everything, and the first consequence is shame.

When they heard the Lord walking in the garden, they hid among the trees. It is an ironic picture—they are in God's garden, in God's creation, thinking they can hide. But that is what sin does. We become convinced we can hide from the effects of our sin. God calls out, "Where are you?" And Adam answers, "I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid." God's first question isn't "What did you do?" but "Who told you that you were naked?"

Then comes the second consequence: blame. Adam says, "It's the woman." God turns to Eve, and she says, "It's the serpent." Personal responsibility evaporates. Sin distances us from God and breaks the community we share.

One Generation from Eden

By Genesis 4, Cain and Abel both bring offerings. God has regard for Abel's but not for Cain's, and Cain becomes furious. In His kindness, God comes to him: "Why are you furious? If you do what is right, won't you be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must rule over it."

The problem was never the kind of sacrifice—it was the heart. And God warns Cain with the picture of a lion: sin is crouching, it wants to destroy you, and you must master it or it will master you. That is still the picture of sin we face today.

Cain is left with a choice—and he chooses to murder his brother. We are one generation removed from absolute, perfect connection between two humans, and already there is a sibling murder. Cain found it easier to kill Abel than to do the right thing. We often choose the same way. It is easier to murder a relationship than to ask for or give forgiveness. "I'm never speaking to them again." We take the relationship and kill it rather than deal with our sin or forgive.

And Abel was killed for simply doing right. Doing the right thing is often unpopular—not only with sinners, but sometimes even among saints. Sometimes all we do is right, and we still suffer the consequences. When God asks Cain, "Where is your brother?" he answers, "Am I my brother's guardian?" Yes—we are responsible for each other. And when we are not held responsible for our actions, we only get worse. The more influence we have, the wider sin's effects. Adultery destroys two families; when it is Bathsheba and King David, the effects are far wider. Lying destroys relationships; lying with political power can result in war and the death of millions.

We Need Jesus Desperately

The only cure for sin and its effects is Jesus. The law does not work. As of 2020, California had 395,608 regulatory restrictions—and surely all our problems were solved. Yet on January 1, 2024, the state added 890 new bills. The law cannot change the human heart. It can try to restrict it, but it cannot transform it.

The law shows our guilt. Galatians 3:24–26 says the law was our guardian—a schoolmaster to drive us to Christ—because we find we cannot fulfill it. Even with mere human law, we end up with contradictory and unjustly applied statutes. "But since faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for through faith you are all sons of God in Christ Jesus."

Jesus sets us free from the guilt of law-breaking by paying our price. He was sacrificed as an offering for our sin. Our own sin was a death sentence—if we were put to death, that would only be our just desserts. But Jesus, who never sinned, suffered and died as a sinner and rose again, buying our freedom from sin and death. The moment we accept that, we are made guiltless before God. Positionally we are now like Adam and Eve in the garden before the fall, because God sees Jesus' blood, not our sin. Experientially, though, we still find ways to be guilty over and over again. So where do we learn to become more like Jesus, the second Adam?

God Uses Us to Help Each Other

God gives us gifts, talents, and abilities meant to be used in community. Romans 12 says, "As we have many parts in one body and all the parts do not have the same function, in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another." Different gifts—prophecy, service, teaching (possibly even in children's ministry), exhorting, giving, leading, showing mercy.

We are one organism with many parts, and every part is important, even when we don't know why. Sometimes we look around and can't see why a certain person is in the body—like we used to view tonsils or the appendix as useless leftovers to be cut out. But as our medical wisdom grew, we discovered both have valid functions. Does anyone in the body have no purpose? Not at all. Do we sometimes feel that way? Yes—and that feeling is no more true for you than for anyone else. God placed you in the body on purpose, with gifts to build the whole.

When one part suffers, all suffer. Stub your toe and your entire body feels it. In Castaway, Tom Hanks is miserable over an abscessed tooth and resorts to at-home dentistry with an ice skate and a rock—and we all wince. There are times in the body when some part is not okay. We would never look at someone with a broken arm and say, "Why aren't you carrying your share?" Yet we look at a hurting, broken brother or sister and think, "They just need to do better." No. We are called to bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. Every part of the body is valuable. God gives the gifts; we don't get to pick a different one. He gives them to benefit and build His body—and that is what life in connection is.

Unity Requires Effort

Ephesians 4 says, "Walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Notice these gifts don't benefit the individual—they benefit the body. I don't need much patience with myself; I need it with other people. The same with kindness. These gifts are meant for community.

"Making every effort" means it will require work. Very often we want unity to show up as a feeling before it shows up in practice. But the feeling follows the action. Unity is hard; it is not natural in a sinful world or a sinful people. It requires constant focus. I saw a reel where a woman asked a man if he'd noticed any red cars on his drive. "Probably." Then she asked, "If I'd offered you $50 for every red car you saw, would you remember?" "Oh, yeah—every single one." That is intention. We have to look for opportunities to build and hold onto unity.

We are one body, the Church of Jesus Christ, yet we are constantly pushing each other away, putting on fig leaves to hide, marked by dysfunction. And still God calls us to unity. How? Through work.

Put to Death, Put On

Colossians 3 is full of action verbs—things we are called to do. "If you have been raised with Christ, seek the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." First seek the godly things; then set your mind on them—the Greek pictures taking your mind and placing it there, fixing it there, because the flesh wants to look every other direction.

"Put to death what belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desire, and greed, which is idolatry." Those are all things that break community and distort connection. Put a stake in their heart and leave them dead. Then, "put away anger, wrath, malice, slander, filthy language." And in verse 12, "put on"—the word pictures donning a uniform or armor—"put on the new self." In Christ there is no Jew or Greek, barbarian or Scythian, slave or free. We are one body.

Then verse 13: "bearing with one another and forgiving one another. If anyone has a grievance against another, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive." This is vital. He does not say wait until someone asks. He says forgive them. Forgiveness is saying, "Lord, I will not hold this against them anymore; I am erasing it from my heart." Unforgiveness is too heavy for any of us to carry—it hampers every step. I'm really good at trying to carry it. "But they don't even know why I'm forgiving them." They don't have to. You aren't forgiving for them, and not really for yourself—you forgive because God forgave you.

"Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts." So when the opportunity arises to lash out—say, at children or a spouse, examples no one struggles with—put on love, forgive, and let Christ's peace rule.

It Doesn't Come Naturally

This does not come naturally. When I became a Christian, I'd been working on the trucking docks, and I had a horrendous mouth—a vocabulary marked by certain adjectives I couldn't seem to get a sentence out without. When I came to Christ, that disappeared. I didn't pray for it; it was just gone. My wife pointed out one day, "You know, you don't cuss anymore," and it took me aback.

But God left me other struggles. I was a smoker, and quitting was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm convinced He let me struggle with it for so long so I'd know never to be stupid enough to pick it up again—because if I did, I'd be a smoker in a second. Because it was so hard to put down, I will not pick it back up. It requires work.

Teach and Admonish One Another

"Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts." Thankfulness brackets the whole thought. And notice: "teaching and admonishing one another." Part of a pastor's role is to teach, but that does not exempt the rest of the body. Teaching and admonishing one another is a gift, a calling, a command. There was a time when I was asked to teach and said, "You're out of your mind—I'm never doing that." God chuckles. We don't teach from a position; we teach because we are Christians. We can't dump it on "the guys with the gift."

"Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people." I'm convinced He says that because if we did it for people, we'd quit by about the third time. But doing it for God makes us willing to take painful, embarrassing steps even when we feel unqualified. He calls us to maintain unity—but not unity at the expense of love—"knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord; you serve the Lord Christ."

Vengeance Belongs to God

Anticipating our objection, verse 25 says, "the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism." The wrongdoer will be paid back—but that is God's responsibility, not ours. Sometimes we want to be the ones to make people pay, but God says, "Maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, and I will repay." That is hard, because sometimes we are hurt in ways nearly impossible to recover from, and we want justice.

I was talking with someone about how hard it is to see horrendous criminals who do horrible things, and all they have to do is repent at the end, and God would welcome them. That is hard to wrestle with. We don't want the thought that someone like Jeffrey Dahmer could say, "Jesus, I'm sorry," and that be enough. But Jesus sees enough value in each of us that His sacrifice is worth it, no matter what we've done. None of us is so distant that God says, "I have no use for you anymore." It's easy to look at a Jeffrey Dahmer and say "they're not worth it"—while thinking I'm kind of a catch. But He sees enough value in every one of us that His sacrifice was worth it.

The Cliff Notes Version

If you want the short version, Ephesians 4:32 is the one to put on your mirror: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ." That is the best path to unity and connection in the body—because we will continue to need to give and receive forgiveness in order to live life in connection. Without that, unity is impossible. We have to be kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving.

Being an Active Part Is Not Optional

Not being an active part of the body is defying God. He has called all who are Christians to be part of His body. When we choose not to be an active part, we defy God—and that is sin. He calls all of us to fill the role He's given, to be kind, forgiving, and tender-hearted toward one another.

Finally, in Matthew 28:19, Jesus gives His disciples His last words: "Go, therefore, into all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

People are the mission. People are also the problem—God sends us to people because people are problems. But the remarkable thing is that God uses people to carry the solution. We are in every part of the equation: we are the mission, the problem, and the carriers of the solution. So go and make disciples, teach them to do what Jesus taught, and remember that Jesus is with us always.

Let's worship together. Amen.