2 Corinthians 2:1

But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness... For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you... So that, contrariwise, you ought rather to forgive him and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow... Lest Satan should get an advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices. (2 Corinthians 2:1–11)

When you discover another believer doesn't share your every position, do you reach for tact—or for sharp tacks?

Paul Defending His Character

In our last study, Paul was defending himself against those in Corinth—maybe one, maybe several—who alleged that he was fickle in his plans. At the end of 1 Corinthians he had intended to visit Corinth before journeying to Macedonia, but now he is writing from Macedonia, in Philippi, never having made that visit. His plan never quite came to fruition. Do you ever have plans that don't quite make it?

Because Paul did not come, some in Corinth began to allege that he was not really led of the Lord—that he was self-willed and not Spirit-led, that he lacked integrity, that he didn't mean what he said. Some may have said he was afraid to face them and didn't want conflict. Others, as these chapters imply, thought Paul had given up on them.

Corinth was a difficult church, as we considered extensively over the last year and a half. This church—rebellious in some ways, stubborn in many ways, like us—was now asking very challenging questions about Paul's character. You might expect him to say, "Have I not been with you so long that you know my proven character?" He had lived with them eighteen months when he planted the church, had visited them, and was now writing his fourth letter to them (we have only two). He was deeply engaged in their life. They should have known him.

Why Paul Defends Himself

So why does Paul bother to defend himself? Not because he is concerned about his reputation, but because as an ambassador of Christ—a representative of Jesus, the gospel, and the kingdom of God—he is concerned that these allegations might project upon the Lord. "Paul, you lack integrity; therefore God must lack integrity. You lack honesty; therefore the gospel is suspect." So throughout this book he stands in defense of himself before people who should have recognized that these charges were simply not his character.

Have you ever found yourself misrepresented for what you said or wrote, wondering, "You should know me well enough to know that's not who I am"? That is exactly where Paul was. With that as the backdrop, the passage becomes far clearer.

As we finished last week, Paul gave his reasoning in chapter 1, verse 23: "To spare you, I came not as yet to Corinth." He told them he was coming; he did not come, because if he had come he would have rebuked them harshly. Someone might say, "So it's our fault you didn't come." Paul clears up that misconception in today's passage.

A Church Full of Imperfect People

There was a contention between Paul and someone at Corinth—apparently a single man causing division in the body. Scripture does not give us the specifics, but we can deduce that this believer was questioning Paul's character and dividing the church from the apostle who so loved them. When Paul visited before writing this letter, it was a heavy, sorrowful visit, as 2 Corinthians 2 reveals.

The church at Corinth had many problems—not unlike modern churches in America today, which are filled with problems because they are filled with people. And we are problems. When we become Christians and Christ brings us into His church, He does not perfect us first. So when we gather, we are a collection of imperfect people. I am so grateful that God still loves imperfect people. Early in my walk I memorized Philippians 1:6: "Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

We live in a society where, if someone irritates us enough, we simply write them off. You build a friendship or business relationship, you see below the surface, and you decide it's easier not to deal with the baggage. We see this overwhelmingly in marriage. You don't need to raise your hand, but think back: many married people didn't quite realize the extent of their spouse's imperfections until that first year—or first few days. With no-fault divorce, people say "irreconcilable differences" and write it off.

Where No Oxen Are

Solomon said something simple and profound in Proverbs 14:4: "Where no oxen are, the stable is clean; but much increase comes by the strength of the ox." You can have a clean church—it will be empty, and ineffective for the mission God has called us to. We might update it: where there are no babies, there are no smelly diapers; but where there are no new births, there is little life. In a church where new births are happening, there will be messes. Throughout the New Testament, Paul exhorts us to bear with the weaknesses of our brothers and sisters for the glory of God and the edification of the body.

The church at Corinth was a mess. Others would say, "Give up. Write it off. It's not worth the stress, the sleepless nights, the pain. Count your losses and walk away." But Paul was determined—because of the abundance of love he had for them. And it was not self-manufactured. "The love of Christ compels us" (2 Corinthians 5:14). The more abundantly he loved them, the less he was loved (2 Corinthians 12:15).

He also recognized his own insufficiency. "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God, who has made us able ministers of the new covenant" (2 Corinthians 3:5). He could have come in with great authority—"I'm the apostle Paul, submit"—but he did not, because he was confident that God who began a good work in them would be faithful to complete it. God is in it for the long haul. If He has saved us and brought us into His family, we will stand before Him one day without spot or blemish. That does not mean we neglect being transformed by the renewing of our minds; it means we trust that He is invested in the work and will finish it.

A Helper of Your Joy

As we come to chapter 2, remember that this letter was not written with chapter and verse divisions—chapters were added in the 13th century, verses in the 16th, for our convenience. The Corinthians heard it read straight through. The break between chapters 1 and 2 is poorly placed, so let's build the context from 1:23.

"Moreover, I call God for a record upon my soul, that to spare you I came not as yet to Corinth. Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand. But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness" (1:23–2:1).

Paul knew his place. He recognized his role in the body of Christ. Though he had planted the church and held apostolic authority from God, he did not see himself as lord over them. "We don't have dominion over your faith—you stand before God by faith. He is Lord." His role, he says in the middle of verse 24, was to be "a helper for your joy." The man who planted and pastored that church, who carried apostolic authority, calls himself a worker together with them for their joy. His desire was the mutual encouragement and edification of those he visited.

Mutual Faith and the "One Anothers"

We see this reaffirmed in Romans 1. Paul writes to a church he had never visited: "Without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers; making request, if by any means now at length I might have a prosperous journey by the will of God to come unto you. For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established; that is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me" (1:9–12).

That word "mutual" is elsewhere translated "one another." It speaks of the communion we share in Christ. Jesus said love one another (John 13, 15); Paul said honor one another (Romans 12), serve one another (Galatians 5), bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6), be kind to one another (Ephesians 4), esteem one another (Philippians 2), speak truth to one another (Colossians 3), comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4). This is the purpose of fellowship when we are joined together as one.

So Paul's desire was to bless whomever he visited. When he realized he could not go to Corinth and be beneficial to them—or they to him—he put the meeting on hold. "I want to encourage your joy and your growth, so I decided not to come to you in heaviness, afflicting you with grief."

The Sorrowful Letter

Paul may correct me in heaven, but I speculate, reading between the lines of Acts and the Corinthian letters, that between 1 and 2 Corinthians Paul made a heavy, sorrowful visit (2:1) and then wrote a tearful letter we do not have today—possibly because it had more of Paul than of the Holy Spirit in it. Paul was a man like us; there were times he was wounded and operating in the flesh, and he likely rebuked them heavily over whatever had taken place. What he said was probably true, but there was more of Paul than of the Spirit. So he resolves not to come to them in heaviness again.

Have you ever had a visit like that with family? It was supposed to be a wedding, a holiday, a joyful thing, and as you got in the car with tears in your eyes you said, "Never again." That's the sense here: "I determined I'm not coming to you again with heaviness like that."

Tact, Not Tacks

This is called tact, and it is important in fellowship. If I cannot be an encouragement to your faith, I will not come, because it will not be mutually beneficial. This is an important truth to apply. Too often, when interacting with Christians from another church, denomination, or stream of doctrine, instead of looking for opportunities to be workers together for our mutual joy, we drop the "t" from tact and add a "k"—we come in with pointy tacks, hunting for areas of disagreement.

I can't tell you how many times I've met a believer who learns I'm a pastor and immediately asks, "So what do you think about God's sovereignty and man's free will?"—the first question. And I'm thinking, this is not going to go in a good direction. Or: "Are you a young-earth creationist or an old-earth creationist?" Instead of seeking to encourage mutual joy as brothers and sisters, we look to start another sibling rivalry, because our carnal nature—fueled by our culture—wants to win. We're competitive; that's why we love sports, debate, and politics. We meet another believer and, because his church is bigger than ours, we want to win.

Don't misunderstand. There are times the church must address heresy or sin. Discipline is needed in accordance with God's Word. Paul was like a bulldog defending the faith and dealing with sin—1 Corinthians 5 is the perfect example. So I am not glossing over sinful or false-doctrine issues. But when it is an issue of preference or secondary doctrine, Paul says his desire is mutual joy. We would be better off as the capital-C Church if we looked for opportunities to mutually encourage one another instead of squinting at the other church and the other guy.

National Borders and State Borders

The best illustration I've heard is the difference between national borders and state borders. National borders must be defended; wars are fought over them. State borders make a distinction between this area and that area—there may be disagreement over how things are done, but you don't start a war over a state border. That's a civil war, and it's not a good thing. There are times when all the states unite because the national borders are in danger; then we stand our ground. But secondary doctrines are state borders—we're one in Christ even with a different preference.

National borders are doctrines like the inerrancy of Scripture, the Trinity, the deity of Christ, the sinfulness of man, the substitutionary death of Christ, the resurrection, and salvation by grace. On these we agree completely with our Baptist friends down the street. Secondary, state-border issues include cessationism, verse-by-verse versus topical preaching, hymns versus choruses, pre-tribulation versus post-tribulation rapture, elder-led versus pastor-led government, Calvinism versus Arminianism. These are a kind of states'-rights matter. You have your preference, I have mine—and we're all one body in Christ. In the Christian faith there are far fewer national borders than state borders; we divide over a great many non-essentials.

Working for One Another's Joy

So Paul says, "When I recognized that coming to you would not be mutually beneficial, I changed my plan." Consider it—that's maturity. "I wrote the same unto you, lest, when I came, I should have sorrow from them of whom I ought to rejoice; having confidence in you all, that my joy is the joy of you all" (2:3). When you are filled with joy, his joy increases. He works for their joy—a "selfish" reason, because their joy is his joy. So out of maturity, if his coming would smash their joy, he postponed the meeting. Their perception was, "He just doesn't like conflict; he lacks integrity." His answer: "Let me explain why I didn't come—it had a good motivation."

Genuine fellowship is enjoyed not when those gathered agree on every point, but when those gathered in Christ work for one another's mutual joy regardless of differing positions. Every successful marriage is the result of compromise for mutual benefit. You marry, you realize this person doesn't agree with you on everything—and "submit" doesn't fix it. In the maturing of a couple, you learn there are certain things you just don't talk about.

Because of works like Keith Green's No Compromise, "compromise" has become a cuss word in the church. But compromise is often incredibly important—for marriage and for the body of Christ. There are certain topics we should conclude not to discuss with certain brothers and sisters. When I'm with someone who has a very heavy hand on God's sovereignty, I don't go fishing for a contrary passage. I use tact: "I love this brother, and there are certain things we just cannot talk about."

You know this in your own family. There's that aunt down the road—just don't talk about politics, because it degrades and divides the family. I have family members who don't know the Lord and who have no clue about my political positions, and I'm fine with that. Why? Because I'm looking for an opportunity to extend the grace of God to them. I want God's glorification and their ultimate edification. I want them to come to the Lord and have fullness of joy, so I become a worker together for their joy.

Discipline Aimed at Restoration

"For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you" (2:4). You may ask, where is church discipline in all this? The resolve to remain in united fellowship does not mean neglecting discipline. When unorthodox or sinful behavior arises, it must be set right according to the Word—but always in the context of love and humility. "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted" (Galatians 6:1).

See the humility and love of the apostle in verse 4: out of much affliction and tears he wrote, not to grieve them, but that they might know his abundant love. His aim was restoration—working together for mutual joy. The heavy letter was not written to tear them apart or to lord his authority over them, but to challenge them to press on toward maturity.

Come Alongside with a Call

The word often translated "exhortation" in the New Testament is parakaleo—to come alongside with a call. Imagine we are all running a race on the same team. You see a teammate falling by the wayside, overtaken by a sin that so easily ensnares. Because you're on the same team, headed to the same goal, you come alongside—parakaleo—and say, "Come, I'll run this next mile with you, because I'm a worker together for your joy." Too often we see someone fall and say, "One less person in the race—onward!" We see nothing of the character of Christ in that. "Who is my neighbor?" Jesus told the story: a man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, was beaten, and a priest passed by—but the one who showed mercy was neighborly.

The Goal Is Forgiveness

"But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved me, but in part: that I may not overcharge you all. Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many" (2:5–6). Paul identifies one individual who caused problems. Some think this is the sinful man of 1 Corinthians 5; I disagree. This seems to be someone who affronted Paul's leadership, whom the church dealt with after Paul left, excommunicating him for a time.

"So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow" (2:7). There has been some measure of repentance, and now you must restore such a one in gentleness, working for his joy that he not be overcome with grief. "Comfort him"—parakaleo, come alongside, run the mile with him.

We often theorize that church discipline is complete once a person is excommunicated. But Paul shows that has not gone far enough. The goal of church discipline, like all discipline, is restoration. If a church says, "We put him out and we're done with him," that is ineffective discipline until he is restored. So Paul says, forgive him, pardon him, comfort him, and bring him back, lest he be overtaken with sorrow.

Practical Applications of Discipline

From this passage we learn several practical truths about church discipline. First, discipline is brought in response to specific unorthodox or sinful behavior; here, apparently, the man was divisive, and the whole church had to act. Second, the punishment must fit the offense—"sufficient to such a man is this punishment" is the right punishment. Third, the purpose is not to inflict continual pain but to correct what was wrong. Every parent knows this. You don't banish your three-year-old forever; you discipline so that the disciple grows. Fourth, the ultimate aim is forgiveness and restoration. The word "forgive" means to show oneself gracious—to come alongside and call them back—not to declare, "We finally got rid of that wretch."

"Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him. For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things" (2:8–9). "To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also: for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ" (2:10). Underline that—in the person of Christ. As God forgave you, so also you must do.

Not Ignorant of His Devices

"Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices" (2:11). Satan's aim is the destruction of marriages, relationships, and the church—tearing apart. We ought not be ignorant of his devices. Yes, sometimes he attacks through sinful behavior or false doctrine. But often he comes in through sly devices: severe, ungracious, unloving actions that divide the body in the name of righteousness, refusing to extend forgiveness—nothing like the character of Christ.

So the aim of fellowship—whether in this church or when you meet another believer at work—should be the glorification of God and the mutual edification of one another. When sin or false doctrine arises, discipline is enacted, but its purpose is restoration of fellowship and the mutual encouragement of joy.

So when you meet that new brother who has been a Christian since the '70s, don't lead with, "What do you think about the rapture—pre-trib or post-trib? Young earth or old earth?" Instead say, "Can I pray for you? What is the Lord doing in your life?" When it comes to state borders, compromise is not a curse word. We should be workers together for one another's joy, not lords over their faith. My Bible says God is sovereign too—and right here it also says He's gracious and grants free will.

Closing Prayer

Father, we need Your grace—grace to be gracious to one another, and to those we meet who know You yet hold a different view of how You work. Lord, they still know You and have been saved by You. Help us extend grace and live as You live. As You forgave us, so also we must do. We know there are times where discipline is necessary, but may it always be for the purpose of restored fellowship and greater joy. Work these things into our lives, we pray, in Jesus' name. Amen.