An Exhortation for Moms

Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus, to Timothy, a beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:1–7)

Four exhortations for moms, drawn from the woman and grandmother who shaped the man who walked beside Paul.

Honoring Our Moms — and Acknowledging the Sorrows

Happy Mother's Day. It's a great day for us to honor and express appreciation to our moms, and we are so grateful for the moms of our church. A recent study found that eighty-five percent of moms would rather have a word of appreciation than a dozen roses—so we want to give you a word of appreciation today, and we'll have a red rose for you when you leave as well.

We have award ceremonies for athletes and actors—it seems there's a new one every few days now—but as far as I can tell we don't really have an award ceremony for moms, which is unfortunate, because mothering is one of the most difficult jobs around. I know that by observation, not experience. Some moms have it harder than others, because some moms had kids like me, and we make the job a little more difficult. But I hope the reward is good and that there's a good return on investment.

We also want to acknowledge the sorrows of the day. Over the years I've heard that a number of women find it difficult to come to church on Mother's Day. They wake up with a dryness in their throat and a pit in their stomach because of sorrows associated with this day—the death of a child, a stillborn child, the loss of a little one to illness, the loss of an adult child, or a child gone astray and estranged. For some, this is the first Mother's Day without your own mom. The white roses up front are to acknowledge those sorrows. If that's you, please feel free to take one, and if you see a lady with a white rose, offer up a prayer for her.

A Detour from Hebrews to Timothy's Mother

At the beginning of each year I map out where we'll be in the Scriptures. According to my schedule we were supposed to be in Hebrews chapter 7—but the whole chapter is about Melchizedek, and I had a hard time seeing how to bring motherhood into it. So we're taking a quick deviation. If you've been with us through Hebrews, you know it's my opinion that Timothy wrote the book of Hebrews. So today I want to look at Timothy—but more than Timothy, his mother and grandmother.

This is Paul's very last letter, written before his death. He was martyred in Rome in the late 60s AD as a witness of Jesus. Looking back over twenty-five or thirty years of ministry and looking ahead to what was about to befall him, he wrote a series of letters we call the pastoral epistles. This is the second one to Timothy, whom he calls his son in the faith—not biological, but the fruit of Paul's ministry in what is modern-day Turkey. There are many heartfelt words here, and Paul mentions Timothy's mother and grandmother.

We first meet Timothy in Acts during Paul's second missionary journey:

Then Paul came to Derbe and Lystra. And behold, a certain disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a certain Jewish woman who believed, but his father was Greek. He was well spoken of by the brethren who were at Lystra and Iconium. (Acts 16:1)

This certain Jewish woman is named here in Paul's last letter—Eunice. She lived probably in Lystra, in the region then called Galatia. On Paul's first missionary journey (Acts 13–14), he and Barnabas planted churches in Lystra, Iconium, and Derbe. Paul's pattern was to go into the Jewish synagogue on the Sabbath and preach the gospel, and no doubt Eunice and her mother Lois were seated there. Timothy was probably only twelve or thirteen then; by Acts 16, about five years later, he's in his late teens. Eunice was in a religiously mixed marriage—her husband was Greek—but something in her life and in her mother Lois's life was a huge example to her son.

Exhortation One: Live with Genuine Faith

Paul says it beautifully:

I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. (2 Timothy 1:5)

This clues us in to something every parent knows—usually in a negative way: children are incredible imitators. How many of you have been embarrassed by the imitation of your children? Most of the time it comes to mind because our kids have done something and we think, "Where did that come from?"—and then we're reminded, "I know exactly where that came from." But the same truth that brings embarrassment is also for our good. The genuine faith Timothy had dwelt first in his mother and grandmother. So my first exhortation is this: moms, live with genuine faith. Your kids will see it, and by God's grace, because they're such good imitators, it may begin to rub off on them.

Several weeks ago my wife was driving with our children and a couple of other kids. Someone honked the horn, and a five-year-old said, "My daddy honks his horn at people, and then he sometimes says, 'You idiot, you're a bad driver'"—except he didn't use the word idiot; he used more of a King James word for donkey. My wife held back her laughter and said, "We don't say that." Thank God that one wasn't mine—but mine would do it too, because we're not perfect and our kids see it all. May they instead see us, and especially you moms with your incredible influence, live with sincere, childlike trust in God.

How does that work practically? In simple ways. As a young child I'd ride with my mom, who liked to stretch out the fuel tank as far as it would go. I remember her saying, "Let's pray we have enough gas to get to the gas station." That simple faith impacted me, because I can't remember us ever running out. It showed me that though I had a father and mother, they trusted that we had a Father in heaven who knows our needs. And it wasn't just the little things—when big things came, the first step was always to go to God in prayer. That genuine faith definitely rubbed off on me. Of all the bad things your kids might imitate, may it be that they see in you a genuine faith that just might rub off on them.

Exhortation Two: Don't Grow Weary in the Long, Hard Work of Mothering

Timothy's mother, grandmother, and Timothy himself would have been among the first recipients of a letter we still study today—Galatians. In its last chapter Paul writes:

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (Galatians 6:9)

Parenting—mothering specifically—is good, hard, exhausting work. God created the situation so that there would be both a father and a mother in the household; that's the ideal. But even in the ideal, it's the mom who bears the greater time with the children and more of the work. It is long, hard, exhausting labor. And it's important work—a work that, if it were not being done, would devastate our entire civilization. We see the effects of its absence in certain places and times in history. So don't grow weary while doing that good work.

But in the midst of it comes exhaustion and the point at which you can begin to lose heart. I've heard my own wife's heart at times, and I've read prayer requests from moms who are on the edge of losing heart over their kids, wondering, "Have I done a bad job? Was there more I could have done?" So much weighs on a mom. How can you not grow weary? Paul says, "For in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." I see in those words the truth that you must maintain the long view.

Parenting is a lifelong process. Our oldest is only eight and a half, so I don't know this fully yet, but I hear from moms whose kids have grown and moved out that the concern and care don't end at graduation—they continue until the day you go home to heaven. This work is not a sprint; it's a marathon. You have to look further out to the finish line, to the finished work of Christ, trusting that "he who began a good work in your children will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."

How do you maintain the long view? In Hebrews 12:2 we find a great help:

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)

Jesus had the long view as he endured the hard work of the cross—he could see the joy awaiting him on the throne. Have that long view: he's there at the finish line. Endure this hard work looking unto him, trusting that he who began a good work in your kids will complete it. He is working in ways you can never see and may not know until you step into his presence. So do not grow weary; in due season you shall reap if you do not lose heart.

Exhortation Three: Faithfully Teach the Scriptures

The Bible is filled with exhortations to parents, and most often the word comes first to the father. But Timothy's father is mentioned only once, and he was Greek; there's no indication he ever became a follower of Jesus. So a command like this one came not from Timothy's father but from his mother:

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

When Paul returned to Lystra and found a disciple with a good reputation among the church leaders, where do you think that faith and grounding in the Scriptures came from? It was built into Timothy by his mother and grandmother—so much so that Paul took him to serve alongside him for the rest of his life. Timothy became a faithful co-laborer, the pastor of the church at Ephesus, and a church planter. The foundation of all that came from Lois and Eunice.

I know the impact in my own life. I can hardly remember a morning growing up when I didn't see my mom in the living room with her Bible or a Bible study open. Sometimes I was a little frustrated that every time there was a problem, my mom always had a Bible verse. Of course she did—and now her son always has a Bible verse too. There was a faithful grounding, a love for God and his Word, that I saw in her.

One way you live this out is by placing yourself under the faithful teaching of God's Word. I commend you for seeking a Bible-teaching church—your kids see it. We want to invest heavily in the children of our church too, which is why we have our children's ministry, Vacation Bible School, and a free class this coming Saturday from 9:00 to noon, where Pastor Jason will help you train up your children in the Lord.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

For some of you whose children are older, raised in the church and under the Word but not walking in it today, this day may be hard. Be encouraged: he who began a good work will be faithful to complete it. Think of the pinecone, whose seeds are often released only by the heat of fire. Some of your prickly kids may seem like they'll never blossom, but it may be the fire of trial that brings them out. If you've been faithful to plant the seeds, you can trust God to complete his work.

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength... You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up... You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:5–9)

This doesn't mean literally wearing them on your hand or forehead. It describes a person whose entire life is surrounded by the Word of God—it's part of your life at every turn. Teach your kids that way, let them see it in your life, and you will reap a great reward. There's hardly a better example you can give your children than genuine faith and a love for God's Word.

Exhortation Four: Pray More Than You Worry

My fourth and final exhortation applies to all of us, but especially to moms: pray more than you worry. By my observation, this one is difficult specifically for moms—because moms worry. Dads worry too, but not like moms worry.

Yesterday in the car, our littlest was telling us he wants a motorcycle. My wife said, "Over my dead body," while I was thinking, "A little motorcycle would be kind of cool." There's a level of worry, anxiety, and concern that moms have that dads simply don't understand. From the moment of conception a woman begins to worry about her child in a way a dad never could. Through every pregnancy I'd say, "Everything will be fine"; my wife treated every movement and every non-movement as a concern. It's almost hardwired into your code, ladies, to worry for your kids.

So I want to encourage you to develop a new habit. A book I read this year, The Power of Habit, describes three components of a habit: the cue, the routine, and the reward. Every day there will be a cue—something to worry about. When that cue comes, I want to encourage you to develop a new routine: pray. The typical response when the cue comes is to dwell on the worry, examine it from every angle, and let it consume you. People ask me, "What exactly is biblical meditation?" Here's a simple answer: if you know how to worry, you know how to meditate. Worry is looking at your concern from every possible angle. If you meditate on your worries, they only grow.

But there's a great word for us:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

This verse opens with a command: "Be anxious." If it stopped there, every one of us would be excellent at it. But it says, "Be anxious for nothing." How is that possible? Whenever God gives a command, he gives the enabling power to fulfill it. The greatest enabling is the presence and power of his Holy Spirit, which we saw in 2 Timothy 1:7—"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

He gives more, too. "In everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God"—prayer, and prayer, and prayer. And the result? The peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds. Where does worry attack us? Our hearts and minds. And that's exactly where God's peace stands guard.

So when the cue comes—something you read online, something on the news, something about your kids who are now moving out from your close care—stop, pray, and meditate on something else:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

So I'll give you permission to worry: you may worry about anything that is lovely, noble, true, good, and praiseworthy—all you want—as long as you fulfill this last exhortation: pray more than you worry.

Mothering is hard work. It begins at conception and won't end until you breathe your last. The only way you'll survive it is to live with genuine faith, to not grow weary by maintaining the long view, to faithfully live and teach the Scriptures, and to pray more than you worry. May God by his grace enable you to do that.

Closing Prayer

Father, I thank you for the exhortations of your Word. You want us to live in a way that is glorifying to you but also satisfying to us, and I'm convinced that as we apply these things—whether we're moms or dads or have no kids today—there will be an incredibly awesome return, a reward with you in heaven and a reward right here and now, even the simple reward of prayer instead of worry, that your peace would guard our hearts and minds as we meditate on what is lovely and good and true and praiseworthy.

God, would you by your Spirit enable us, because you've not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. I pray for the moms of our church, that you would enable them by your power and grace to simply trust you, to stir up a love for the Scriptures, to be encouraged when they're about to lose heart, and to not grow weary in the good work they're doing. Help us to pray every single time we're triggered to worry, casting our cares upon you because you care for us. It's very clear from the Scriptures that you love and care for our children more than we ever could. Help us to put our kids in your care and to trust that you who began a good work will be faithful to complete it until the day we see you. We praise you for the encouragement of your Word. In Jesus' name we pray, and all those that agreed said, Amen.