By This We Know

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth... And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him... Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us. — 1 John 3:16-24

What is love at its deepest, most essential level—and how can we have confident assurance that we are truly God's children?

Our Culture's Confusion About Love

This last Friday I had the joy of officiating a wedding for a couple from our church. Having now done about forty or more weddings over the last twenty years, one thing stands out: the understanding of love in a young couple about to marry can be rather sentimental and impractical. If you chuckle at that, it probably means you've been married for a while.

We see this not only in individuals but in our culture as a whole, which holds a sentimental, impractical, unrealistic view of what love is. That confusion shows itself painfully when someone going through a divorce says, "I just fell out of love with him," or "I just fell out of love with her." That statement alone indicates the confusion surrounding this whole concept of love. The text before us this morning answers some of those all-important questions: what exactly is love, and what's the point of it?

The Context: Two Groups of People

Just before verse 16, John makes a stark contrast between two groups of people. In his view, the entire world divides into the children of God and the children of the devil. The children of God do righteousness, most perfectly manifested through love. The children of the devil do not do righteousness, manifested through the lack of love—hatred—and ultimately, sometimes, murder.

The immediate response of most people is, "Of course I'm a child of God. I'm a lover, not a hater. I'm not a murderer, so I must belong to God." But John gives very little weight to one's profession over one's practice. As he says in 1 John 1:6, "If we say we have fellowship with God and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth."

My Practice Proves My Identity

That brings us to the first point: my practice proves my identity better than my profession. Whether we are children of God or children of the devil is seen in our conduct. The children of God walk in the practice of righteousness—loving God, loving His people, and even loving those who are not like us, those outside, even those who would place themselves as enemies of God. Jesus tells us to love our enemies.

This is also evident to the world. Jesus told His disciples in John 13:35, "By this all people will know that you are My disciples, by the love that you have one for another." Love becomes the chief representation of the people of God. But since we can be so easily pulled into a sentimental, unrealistic understanding of love, John defines it at its deepest, most essential level: "By this we know love." Those words are very important. We live in a world that doesn't comprehend what love is, so John says, "I'm going to explain it."

God Highly Values Love

One thing becomes very clear as you read the Scriptures: God highly values love. We see this in His commands, which always align with His nature. Deuteronomy 6:5 commands, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind." Leviticus 19:18 adds, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

By the time Jesus came, the rabbis had to find a way to sum up the law. Going through the first five books, you find not just the Ten Commandments but, according to the rabbis, 613 commandments—ceremonial, national, and moral. If you asked any Jewish person in Jesus's day what the greatest commandments were, they would answer with these two. Jesus said, "On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." And Jesus Himself taught the same in John 15:12: "This is My commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you."

Christ's Passion Reveals the Extent of His Love

That brings us to the second point: Christ's passion reveals the extent of His love. That word passion is difficult today. In our day it means an intense desire, but in historical Christian usage it speaks of Christ's suffering. That's why we call the week leading up to Good Friday the Passion Week, and why the movie The Passion of the Christ refers to His suffering.

Just as actions speak louder than words, Christ's suffering on the cross demonstrates the greatness of His love for us better than any words ever could. This is the core message of the gospel—a truth that never wears out. Jesus followed His command in John 15:12 by saying, "Greater love has no one than this, than that a man lay down his life for his friends." We see this even in pop culture—I hope I'm not spoiling Toy Story 4, but Woody has to lay something down for a friend, and what we're seeing is love demonstrated.

But God's love goes so much further. "Scarcely for a good man would someone dare to die... but God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). He demonstrated His love when we were enemies.

The First Time Love Appears: Genesis 22

To grasp the greatness of this, let's go back to Genesis 22—the first time the concept of love appears in the Bible, and very likely the first time it appears in all written literature.

The main character is Abraham, seen even by secular histories as the father of all monotheistic religions. God called him at age 75 from Mesopotamia, where he was a Chaldean moon worshipper, promising to make his name great and give him descendants more numerous than the stars—though his wife Sarah was barren. For twenty-five years he followed God with no child. Finally, when Abraham was 99 and Sarah 90, God gave them Isaac, whose name means "laughter," because Sarah laughed at the promise.

By Genesis 22, Isaac is no longer a baby; he is likely a teenager or older, since Sarah dies at 127 in the next chapter. The text says, "It came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham." Underline those words. God said, "Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love." That is the first time love is found in the Bible.

A Substitutionary Sacrifice on Mount Moriah

God told Abraham to offer Isaac as a burnt offering in the land of Moriah. Why would God do this, when He later reveals He detests human sacrifice? He was testing the extent of Abraham's faith, devotion, and love. Abraham rose early, took Isaac and the wood, and on the third day saw the place afar off. He told his servants, "I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you"—a statement of faith.

Isaac, carrying the wood himself, asked, "Where is the lamb for the burnt offering?" Abraham answered, "My son, God will provide Himself the lamb." Abraham built the altar, bound Isaac, and stretched out his hand with the knife—but the angel of the Lord called from heaven, "Do not lay your hand on the lad... now I know that you fear God." Abraham looked and saw a ram caught in the thicket, and offered it instead. He called the place "The Lord Will Provide," saying, "In the Mount of the Lord it shall be provided."

This is one of the most beautiful types in all of Scripture. The father takes his only son up a mountaintop to be offered as a sacrifice—in the land of Moriah. In Jerusalem, the mountain on which the temple was built is Mount Moriah, and its highest point is Golgotha, Calvary, the place of the cross. God provided Abraham a ram that day, but Abraham's words were still correct—because 2,000 years later, the Son, the Lamb of God, carried the wood of His cross up Mount Moriah to die for you and me. "By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us."

Christ's Love Compels Me to Love Others

What, then, is our response? "We also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." The third point: the demonstration of Christ's love compels me to demonstrate love toward others. And the fourth: His sacrificial love stirs me to love others as He has loved me.

This love is not mushy sentimentality. It's not just in what we profess—"we love people." Verse 17 makes it practical: "But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."

Sacrifice is never easy or painless. If it's easy for you, it's not sacrifice. We may be called to give of our wealth—and we are wealthy; if you make more than fifty thousand dollars a year, you are in the top one percent of all wealth earners in the world. But as people increase financially, it becomes easier to give money than to give time. We outsource our sacrifice and let someone else do it, when God is calling us to give of ourselves.

Sacrificing Our Social Standing for the Gospel

The greatest need people have is not physical but the problem of sin. So sometimes the sacrifice has less to do with wealth or time and more to do with our social standing—sharing the gospel. That's challenging because we're afraid of what others might think. It's embarrassing and out of our comfort zone to tell a family member, neighbor, or coworker that apart from Jesus they are a child of the devil, that apart from God they are a sinner facing hell. Nobody wants to say that, so we reason ourselves out of the sacrifice.

Abraham could have talked himself out of it: "God would never call me to sacrifice Isaac, the promise—that can't be God." And Jesus in Gethsemane prayed three times, "Father, let this cup pass from Me." In His humanity, He didn't want to die. Yet He said, "Not My will, but Yours be done," showing us the path of laying down our will for God's will.

My Love in Action Proves I Belong to God

Verse 19 says, "By this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him." The New Living Translation puts it beautifully: "Let us not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions... so we will have confidence when we stand before Him."

That brings the fifth point: my love in action will prove that I belong to God as His child. Make this clear: it is not my love in action that makes me a child of God—it is my love in action that proves God has made me His child. We don't love in action to become children of God; we love in action because He has made us His children by grace, through His love demonstrated on the cross.

So what do the actions of my life say about who I am? That's the question to wrestle with. It's easy to say "I believe in God"—but are we living as if God actually exists? It's easy to say "I love God"—but is His love actively working through me toward those who are like me and those who don't vote the same way or watch the same news channel? It's easy to say "I'm a follower of God"—but do my actions prove my devotion?

Three times this text says, "By this we know." I don't want to assume I'm a child of God or merely think I'm a follower. I want to know, with assurance and confidence, that I will one day stand before my Father in heaven.

Closing Prayer

God, I thank You for the grace You give us when we come to the Scriptures, because sometimes we come to a passage that is really challenging and we need Your grace and mercy. I am so thankful that in all the areas where we fall short—and every one of us falls short of Your righteous standard, falling short of loving You and loving others as You require—we are so grateful for Your grace, and that when we sin You are faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us as we confess it.

In the areas where we have fallen short in loving You, loving those within the body of Christ, and loving those outside, would You forgive us today. Lord, there are people we interact with every day who don't know Your grace, who are walking in darkness, who are not Your children but children of the devil—yet whom You want to redeem and adopt into Your family. So give us boldness as ambassadors to carry the good news of Your grace to those in such desperate need. Give us that passion, even if it means sacrifice, because that reveals Your love. Pour out upon Your church Your Holy Spirit and empower us. We ask this in Jesus's name, and all those in agreement said, "Amen."