Happy and You Know It 6 | Patterns of Happiness

But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel... Yet I considered it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker, fellow soldier, but your messenger, the one who ministered to my need... Hold such men in esteem; because for the work of Christ he came close to death, not regarding his life, to supply what was lacking in your service toward me. (Philippians 2:19–30)

The world says chase your own pleasure—but Paul points to three people who found joy by giving themselves away.

All Seek Their Own

"All seek their own." That is the world we live in, and it has been that way for a very long time. Even two thousand years ago, when the church was first birthed, people were self-seeking, just as they are today. We sometimes look back on the first century as ideal conditions, but the reality was the same.

Our modern marketing is geared toward the me-centric carnality of our fallen human nature. The slogans say "obey your thirst," "have it your way," and from one cosmetics company, "because I'm worth it." That is the world we live in, constantly emphasizing this mindset. We value individualistic pursuits of personal, gratifying happiness, and most people think that happiness will be found through some pleasurable experience—some even at the cost of others' suffering.

It is not a new slogan. Three thousand years ago Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun. Twenty-eight hundred years ago the prophet Isaiah looked at his own nation and said, "They all looked to their own way, everyone for his own gain." Could that not be written over our own nation in the 21st century? Before that, the book of Judges records that everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

How Is Our Nation Doing?

We live in a nation that highly values the pursuit of joy, with more than 330 million Americans endeavoring to pursue it. Yet we are also the nation known for the highest use of prescription antidepressants, which have increased exponentially in the last decade. The New York Times reported that more than one in ten Americans have been prescribed antidepressants. They are experiencing a lack of joy, happiness, and inner well-being.

That doesn't even account for the multitudes who self-medicate. It is reported that the average American fifteen and older consumes two and a half gallons of pure alcohol a year, and the fastest growing industry in the United States today is legalized marijuana. People are trying however they can to temporarily increase a sense of well-being, to deaden depressed feelings, to get rid of anxiety and stress. They are just pursuing happiness—trying to attain what they're told is highly valued.

The Letter of Joy

For the last six weeks we have been in Philippians, a letter written by the Apostle Paul to the church in the city of Philippi. For many years the church has called this short, four-chapter letter the biblical book of joy. The remarkable thing is that the author was not experiencing the greatest circumstances when he wrote it—he was in prison—yet he writes constantly about joy, peace, rejoicing, contentment, and happiness.

So how does one come into these things when difficult things are going on? Paul shows us. We've seen that joy is not dependent upon circumstances—which is not what our culture tells us. We're told to seek pleasurable experiences, to go to "the happiest place on earth," which every parent knows is not the happiest place on earth, especially when the credit card bill arrives.

We've also seen that joy can be exercised and developed. Lasting joy comes through grace by Jesus Christ. Happiness begins with gratitude. It is found in service to God. It increases through prayer. It is destroyed by pride but increased by humility. And joy increases as we work for the joy of others. Jesus said in the Gospels, "I've spoken these things to you... that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." Joy is even listed second among the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5—evidence that God dwells in us.

Three Examples of Joy

In Philippians 2 Paul lists three examples, three patterns, three individuals who walk in such a way that moves toward the increase of joy. The first, which we studied three weeks ago, is Jesus: "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus" (2:5). Paul walks us through Christ's humility, self-sacrifice, and ultimate exaltation. Even many non-Christians think Jesus was a good example, though many who say so have never looked at what He said or did.

Today we focus on two more men Paul highlights—Timothy and Epaphroditus. In the next chapter Paul will tell the church to note those who walk like this, "as you have us as an example." What he says about these two is striking: in verse 19 they cheer Paul up; in verse 28 they make the church more happy and reduce Paul's anxiety. Those are good things. Who would sign up for that?

Sometimes you read through the Bible and come to a section that makes you scratch your head, wondering why it fits. Philippians 2:19–30 can feel that way—but let's consider it together.

Take Appropriate Steps to Be Happy

Just as there is an IQ, researchers tell us there is also an HQ—a happiness quotient—with tests to measure it and exercises that may increase it. Paul has been laying out steps that, if we take them, will increase our HQ. Yet many of his steps are not what the world tells us, even as the world admits people are stressed, anxious, depressed, and downcast.

In verse 19 Paul says, "I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state." Another translation says, "that I may be cheered up." This is our first point: take appropriate steps to be happy. Yes, we should work for the joy of others, but here Paul deliberately sends Timothy so his own joy would increase. He would hear how the Philippians were doing, and that report would increase his joy. So Paul took a practical step to increase the likelihood that he would experience the joy of the Lord.

Timothy Had the Right Mindset

What made Timothy so special that Paul would send him? In verses 20–22 Paul says, "I have no one like-minded who will sincerely care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. But you know his proven character."

First, Timothy had the right mindset. At the start of chapter 2, Paul urged the Philippians to be like-minded with one another, and in verse 5 to "let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." Timothy was like-minded with Paul and ultimately with the Lord. The New Living Translation says, "I have no one else like Timothy." He was unique because, while all seek their own, Timothy sought the things of Christ Jesus. He genuinely, faithfully, and sincerely cared about the welfare of others.

True Joy Requires a Shift of Focus

This brings us to our second point: true joy requires a shift of focus. We saw it in Jesus, who is God yet stepped down to earth, humbled Himself to the lowest position of a servant—washing His disciples' feet, then dying on the cross. The Creator dies for His creation. We are called to follow that same path.

If our nature is to be self-seeking—"all men seek their own"—then following the pattern of Jesus and Timothy means shifting our focus to the needs, cares, and concerns of others. Look back at Philippians 2:3–4: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

The word "interests" in verse 4 is the very same Greek word Paul uses in our passage when he says "all seek their own." We are not to seek our own interests but the interests of others—and Timothy actually lived this out. As Philippians 2:12–13 reminds us, God works in us to enable this, for left to ourselves we simply don't do it. But with the power of Christ in us, we can follow Timothy's example of a shifted focus.

No Lasting Joy Apart from Proven Character

Timothy also had proven character. Paul writes, "you know his proven character" (v. 22). Timothy had been tried, tested, and approved. We first meet him in Acts 16. He was a convert through the witness of his mother and grandmother and grew under Paul's ministry in Galatia. On Paul's second missionary journey he stopped in Lystra, met Timothy, and took him along as an apprentice and servant in the work.

What kind of character? Verse 22 says, "as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel." Two things showed his character: he was a son in the faith and a servant of the gospel. In Paul's two personal letters to him, he calls Timothy a "true son" and a "beloved son" in the faith. And Timothy appears in the opening lines of six of Paul's thirteen letters as a fellow worker—including this one: "Paul and Timothy, bondservants of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:1).

This is our third point: there is no lasting joy apart from proven character. Because of Timothy's relationship to Paul and his faithful service, he was tried and true. When Paul was in prison in Rome facing his trial and possible execution, it was the faithful son and servant Timothy who stood with him. "Therefore," Paul says in verse 23, because Timothy is trustworthy and proven, "I hope to send him at once."

Joy Flows to and from Active Participants

Now comes the third individual, Epaphroditus. In verse 25 Paul lists five qualities: "my brother, fellow worker, fellow soldier, but your messenger"—literally apostle in the Greek—and "the one who ministered to my need." He was a brother, a worker, a soldier, a messenger, and a minister.

From this comes our fourth point: joy flows to and from active participants, not passive spectators. The Christian life is not a spectator sport. Unfortunately, millions come to church as spectators week in and week out. Christian leaders have long noted the 80/20 reality—twenty percent doing eighty percent of the work—which over time shrinks to ten percent doing ninety percent. Many Christians admit they aren't experiencing the abundant life, wondering where the promised joy is. True joy flows to and from active participants.

So might I, as your pastor, challenge you to get in the game? Epaphroditus was not only a brother—a believer—he was a worker (the Greek root involves energy and work), a soldier fighting the good fight, a messenger sent with a message, and a minister who served Paul's needs. You will not experience the fullness of joy available in Christ if you are not engaged in the work of Christ.

A Word from the Field

I had a great conversation yesterday with an Escondido police officer—no, I didn't get pulled over. It's been an interesting week. A few days ago some of our staff found a basket in the parking lot with a white cloth, blood, a dead chicken with its head cut off, two dead fish, and pieces of coconut—like someone trying to put a hex on us. We called the police, who filed a report. Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world.

The next day, someone made serious accusations against me through social media, so I called my friend Dave Bishop, a detective—a former career Marine, a SWAT sniper, a Christian, and the author of a book on apologetics. For the last twenty years Dave has gone to Camp Pendleton every Sunday to give core values training to the School of Infantry—about seventy percent of the Marine Corps. He sums it up with three principles: God, country, Corps, and then offers a Bible study to those who want to know about God. He's been preaching the gospel to recruits for two decades.

As he took the incident report, Dave told me about a recent conversation. He said, "I have a great wife, a wonderful family, an awesome job, but I never knew the fullness of joy in Christ until I stepped out and started serving the Lord." Unsolicited and unplanned—a good word. You will not experience maximal, expanding joy in Christ until you become an active participant in the work. What that looks like differs for each person, because God has gifted and called each of you uniquely, but He has a place for you in the ministry.

Joy Flows to and from Selfless Servants

In verse 26, Epaphroditus was "longing for you all and was distressed"—the word could be translated depressed. Christians sometimes get depressed. He was depressed not because he was sick, but because the Philippians had heard he was sick and were concerned for him. Indeed he was "sick almost unto death, but God had mercy on him." Paul says, "I sent him the more eagerly, that when you see him again you may rejoice and I may be less sorrowful."

This is our fifth point: joy flows to and from selfless servants. Paul's exhortation 2,000 years ago—and to us today—was "let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." Epaphroditus brought joy and gladness because he was a selfless, self-sacrificing servant.

For the last twenty-five years we've been told the path to greater well-being is better self-esteem. I don't think we need to belittle ourselves, but I'm not sure we need to do anything to build up our self-esteem. Notice Paul says this self-sacrificing servant—who by a psychological analysis might even seem low in self-esteem—is "the kind of guy you should esteem." This is the one who deserves honor: not the person focused entirely on himself, but the one working for the joy of others.

The Path to Greatness

The greatest thing in the world is to one day hear Jesus say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." For the last six months of Jesus's life, His disciples argued about who would be greatest, failing to recognize that the greatest in the kingdom was Jesus Himself. They tried to hide their argument—as children do. Yet when Jesus addressed it, He didn't rebuke their desire for greatness; He told them how to attain it: "He who desires to be great in the kingdom of God, let him become the servant of all." This is the path to greatness.

There is also a place for honor in the body of Christ. Paul told Timothy that those who labor in the Word are worthy of double honor, and here he says this kind of selfless servant deserves esteem. This is contrary to almost everything our culture says about laying hold of happiness. The world says increase your self-esteem, your position, your wealth, your power—and here Jesus says, give it all away.

Next week, in Philippians 3, we'll see the same thing in Paul's own example. He moves from Jesus to Timothy to Epaphroditus, and then says of himself: if anyone could boast in the flesh, it was me—yet everything his culture said you must cling to for happiness, he willingly cast aside, counting it as rubbish that he might gain something far better.

So, brothers and sisters, take the appropriate steps to be happy—but those steps involve shifting your focus from yourself to others, being part of the body of Christ as a servant, soldier, and minister, and being an active participant rather than a passive spectator. It means walking contrary to what this world says is the path. The One who is the incarnation of joy, Jesus, probably has a little more authority on this topic than your average 21st-century psychologist.

Closing Prayer

Father God, thank You for Your word. It is living and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, and by it You instruct us—sometimes correcting and reproving us, but Lord, showing us the right way we ought to walk. I pray that we would take these things to heart and apply them this week. Help us to do that, because by our own strength—well, we don't have any strength—so enable us, Lord. We pray in Jesus' name. And all God's people said, amen.