Happy And You Know It 2 | In Joy As Well As In Sorrow

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ... And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:3-11)

In joy as well as in sorrow, real joy grows as we walk together within the family of God.

An Anniversary and a Bit of Reminiscing

A wife's tenth anniversary was approaching, and over the years she'd had to leave little hints to remind her husband. This year, an important one, she decided not to. And he remembered! He came to her excited, with a card. She opened it with a tear in her eye—but her expression quickly changed. When he asked what was wrong, she finally said, "It would be a great card if it were my birthday."

Anniversaries are important, and this day is a bit of an anniversary for me—the seventh anniversary of becoming the lead pastor of this church. It's a blessing, because the text we're looking at in Philippians lends itself to a little reminiscing.

When Paul penned this letter nearly 2,000 years ago, he was in Rome awaiting trial. He had been accused of many things by people from his own nation, but because he was a Roman citizen he had appealed to the highest court in the land, which meant awaiting trial before Nero. There he was in a Roman prison, under house arrest, awaiting the day of his trial—and ultimately his execution. In that situation he reminisces, thinking back over ten or fifteen years to a group of people he had pastored and a church he had planted in a city called Philippi.

Happiness Begins With Gratitude

Paul writes, "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you." That leads us to our first point: happiness begins with gratitude.

Several years ago, radio talk show host and author Dennis Prager wrote a book on happiness. In the first chapter he says there is a secret to happiness, and it is this: gratitude. All happy people are grateful, and ungrateful people cannot be happy. His point throughout the book is that gratitude stirs happiness, not that happy experiences stir gratitude. So he encourages us to be grateful people that we would experience happiness. I think that's true—gratitude is a key, in a big way, to happiness.

Like many truths in the Bible, this is not earth-shattering. You've probably thought it, read it, or even said it before. But like many simple truths, although we know them, we don't always practice them. We live in a society full of days set aside for reflection—anniversaries, birthdays, memorial days, holidays—pointing us back to remember good things and stir us to thankfulness. Yet even with all that reminiscing, we don't often find ourselves being thankful.

That's why Philippians 1:3 is a good memory verse. I'd encourage you to commit it to memory this week: "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you." Throughout our day, various things bring people, places, and individuals to mind. May it be that when someone or something is brought to mind, this verse challenges us to be thankful to God for that person.

It's interesting how smell is such a trigger for memory. For years, on a cool day, if I smelled diesel exhaust I'd be instantly transported back to third grade, when my family lived just outside of London and I walked to school every morning. We all have experiences like that. May it be that when someone is brought to mind, this verse encourages us to be thankful to God—and sometimes God even uses memories to trigger us to pray.

Grace That Fuels Service

When I think about this church, I am thankful to God, because I'm reminded that He is truly gracious. Paul says in the previous verse, "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." When I remember all that God has done in my life, much of it through this church, I'm reminded just how good He is. I am what I am today by the grace of God.

Paul knew this too. In 1 Corinthians 15:10 he says, "I am what I am by the grace of God," and then adds, "and His grace toward me was not in vain"—it was not wasted, because I labored. Coming to understand just how gracious God has been has been one of the chief things that fuels my desire to serve Him. God has given so much graciously to me that I don't want His grace to be wasted; I want the grace He paid into my life to be a worthy investment.

Now, an important distinction: we don't work or labor to get grace. Grace by its very nature is unmerited, unearned favor. But because we've been given such great grace, it should compel us to serve out of gratitude. Doing something merely out of duty, over and over, ultimately lends toward ingratitude. But when we realize how blessed we are in Christ, it stirs our gratitude—and our service flows from it.

Joy Increases Through Prayer

That thankfulness overflows not just into service but into prayer. Paul says, "always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy for your fellowship in the gospel." That's our second point: joy increases through prayer.

I didn't just come to be part of this church seven years ago. My family started attending when I was eleven, so I've been part of this body for nearly 25 years—and God began His work in me even before that. As an eight-year-old at All Saints Episcopal Church in Vista, I trained to be an altar boy, and I remember looking up to Father Bob and thinking, "I like that guy." Later my family moved to London, where we attended a small Pentecostal church that fit only twenty to thirty people. The pastor, Pastor Rob, would step onto a little four-inch riser and take off his sandals, standing in his bare feet because he felt he was on holy ground. As a nine-year-old I thought, "I want to serve the Lord in that same way."

But something helpful changed when I was eleven and my family began attending this church—then called Calvary Chapel of Escondido, over on East Valley Parkway behind Yum Yum Donuts. People called it "the donut church." For the first time, I began to understand the Word of God, because there were committed teachers and pastors. My first youth pastor, Pastor Ken Aram, taught the Word; then Christian DeVito; then Pastor Tony Benicci, who's still part of the church. The Word of God made sense, and I began to comprehend what God wanted to do in my life.

It wasn't just the youth ministry. Our church had a youth intern program—we still do—and a school of ministry. Pastor Pat Kinney, who faithfully pastored for 27 years, Pastor Richard Rare, and Pastor Mark Turner all taught through those things. From the time I was eleven, God worked in my life to bring me into ministry—as an intern, a youth pastor, an assistant pastor, then being sent out a little over ten years ago as a missionary in Germany, teaching at a Bible school, and finally given the opportunity seven years ago to pastor this church. I thank my God upon every remembrance of this body, for your partnership in the gospel from the beginning of my life with the Lord until now. As I thanked the Lord this week, I truly found that our joy increases through prayer.

When Memories Make Us Cringe

But here's another thing I found as I reminisced: not every memory is a good memory. Sometimes memories cause us to cringe rather than smile. It's interesting that Paul is so thankful to the Philippians, because in Philippi he experienced some hard things. There were cruel people who slandered him, beat him physically, wrongfully persecuted him, imprisoned him, and at the end of the day kicked him out of the city. Yet a little more than ten years later he says, "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."

Sadly, these same things sometimes happen in churches. There were surely some people who came to Paul's mind who didn't warm his heart. If you've been part of a church body for a long time, there are some tough memories and painful interactions. And let me tell you, I believe it is God's desire that we be part of a church for the long haul—that we put down roots and grow where we're planted, even though there are hard things, because we're among people.

So how do you maintain joy within a church family when interactions aren't always joy-producing? Let me be blunt: sometimes church people make you mad. Sometimes someone takes your seat—it was their seat until 9:30, then it became your seat, but they didn't get up early enough. Someone takes your parking space, or even steals your donut. How do we maintain joy within the body of Christ with people who make us mad?

See Others Through the Finished Work of Jesus

The answer comes from the text. "Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Point three: endeavor to see others through the finished work of Jesus.

We need to recognize that all the brothers and sisters around us are under construction. Drive down Bear Valley Parkway and you'll see the signs: "Expect delays. Rough road ahead." How good would it be if we all wore t-shirts saying "Under construction—expect delays"? None of us has arrived or been perfected. In Philippians 3, Paul says, "Not as though I have attained or am already perfected, but I press on that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has laid hold of me."

Sometimes we look around and say, "That guy certainly hasn't arrived," while thinking, "I'm doing pretty good." No—we're all under construction. Some people have rough edges, others have sharp points, some have both. I'm certain that over the years my rough edges and sharp points have scraped or stuck some of you. But here's our confidence: first, Jesus will complete the work He began in you, and it's going to take all the way until the day of Christ. None of us will experience completeness, maturity, or perfection here and now.

Second, we are all partakers of grace. We all need God's grace, and we all need one another's grace as we walk together through sanctification—the process where Jesus is making us more like Him. So give people the benefit of the doubt. Recognize that Jesus is working in them, and that many times God is working through them to work in you. Some people have the sandpaper ministry, scraping away your rough edges. Some have the jackhammer ministry; some have the dynamite ministry. My rough edges are used by God to dull yours, and vice versa.

If you don't endeavor to see others through the finished work of Jesus, you'll quickly become jaded and cynical, and you'll probably leave and find another church. But here's a clue: no matter what church you go to, you'll find rough edges and sharp points, because God wants to work in you. James 4 tells us that God gives more grace, but He resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. Micah said, "He has shown you, O man, what is good, and what does God require of you—to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly." God, help us to walk in humility, because we need more grace—and Jesus is the one who gives more grace.

It's never a good thing to run from what God desires to do. There was a man named Jonah; God wanted him to go somewhere, and Jonah tried to go the other way. Let's just say "land shark" is not a good term for you. We'll go through that story another day.

Love Others as Christ Loves

Two final points. First, verse 8: "For God is my witness how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ." Point four: love others as Christ loves others.

Married couples, raise your hands. Remember when you and your spouse were dating, how love back then was blind? And then marriage healed your blindness, and you very quickly realized he can be really smelly and she can sometimes be kind of cranky. Real love isn't necessarily blind. But Peter was right when he echoed the wisest man who ever lived: in 1 Peter 4:8 he says, "Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins."

When you became a Christian, you didn't cease to be a sinner. We're saved by grace, forgiven because of the work of Jesus on the cross, but we still sin—and sometimes we offend or sin against one another within the body. You will never greatly long to be with the people of the body of Christ if you don't seek to love them with the love of Christ. Paul says, "God is my witness how greatly I long to be with you with the love of Jesus Christ." We need to love one another with His love, or we will never see joy increase. The first fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, the chief from which the rest come, is love.

Pray for Those God Has Brought Into Your Life

Finally, verses 9 through 11—fittingly, this is the 9-1-1 of happiness. "And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Point five: pray for those God has brought into your life.

Now, pray in a certain way. I'd discourage you from praying the imprecatory prayers of David—prayers of judgment like "God, break their teeth in their mouth." That's in the Bible, and some of us have probably prayed a few. But that's not what Paul is talking about here. Look at how Paul prays:

He prays that their love would grow more and more—that they would overlook the multitude of sins that happen in life, since we all fail and bump up against one another. Pray that the people around you would grow in love.

He prays that they would grow in the knowledge of God's Word, that they would know how to walk and live in a way that approves what is excellent.

He prays they would be sincere and without offense. Sincerity speaks to our inward heart motives; being without offense speaks to the external, that we walk in such a way as not to stumble or offend others. God, help us walk with pure motivation and without offense.

He prays they would be filled with the fruits of righteousness—that those good things would be clearly seen and evident in our lives. And finally, he prays that their lives would bring glory and praise to God: "being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."

Understand that God strategically placed you in this church and placed people in your life to use them in your sanctification, so that you would grow more like Jesus. Yes, there are times within the body of Christ when people do and say things that feel offensive and cruel. But give thanks to God, because by His grace He placed us here together. Your joy will increase through prayer, your happiness will expand through gratitude, as you endeavor to see others through the finished work of Jesus, love others with the love of Christ, and pray for the people in your life.

Closing Prayer

Father God, thank You for Your simple, clear truth. Lord, You called us to walk together within the body of Christ, the family of the saints, and sometimes it's a walk in joy but also in sorrow. Would You work in us in such a way that we would see through the lens of Your completed and finished work, that we would love those around us with the love that You have loved us with. Stir us to be people of prayer, praying for our brothers and sisters, especially those who may frustrate or bother us, and make us a people who give thanks. Make these things become real in our lives this week. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.