There She Goes Again | Sunday, June 9, 2024

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her... "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:22–33)

God's relentless, faithful love for an unfaithful people—pictured in Hosea's marriage and fulfilled in Christ who buys back His bride.

A Passage Heard at Every Wedding

This last week I was at a pastors' conference, and a number of us got on the subject of weddings and marriage. We all agreed about an interesting shift in the last five or so years: I don't do as many weddings as I once did. That's not because marriage rates are down—they've actually been up. The change is that more couples ask a friend or family member to officiate. You can go online and for about twenty dollars get a license to do a wedding.

Still, over two and a half decades of pastoral ministry I've probably done forty or fifty weddings. At nearly every one I share at least a portion of Ephesians chapter 5. If you've been to a Christian wedding, you've likely heard part of it read.

I know that for some, the opening words—"wives, submit to your own husbands"—are the only thing that registers, and in our triggering culture some people tune out. But I didn't read this passage to focus on the exhortation to wives, or even the exhortation to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. The reason I begin here is verses 31 and 32: "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church."

God's Intended Purposes for Marriage

In addition to performing weddings, I do premarital counseling—four sessions with couples intending to marry. In the very first session I want to share from the Scriptures God's defined and intended purpose for marriage. We've had a redefinition of marriage in Western culture over the last twelve or so years, which is a concern, because I don't think governing bodies have the authority to redefine what God created. Genesis makes very clear that God instituted marriage, so the Maker of marriage gets to define what it is about.

In my own study I found at least seven purposes for marriage. First, partnership—Adam and Eve are joined together, the wife a helper and partner to the husband. Second, provision—Ephesians 5 makes clear husbands are to provide for and care for their wives. Third, pleasure—1 Corinthians 7, Proverbs 5, the Song of Solomon, and other passages make clear there is pleasurable fulfillment that God intends within marriage. Fourth, procreation—the first commandment, be fruitful and multiply; my wife and I have four kids, so we've engaged in this. Fifth, purity—there is a desire for sexual fulfillment in both men and women that Scripture allows only within the covenant of marriage; 1 Corinthians 7 makes that clear. Sixth, perfection or sanctification—God wants to use your spouse to transform you. You may have entered marriage thinking you would change him or her; not so fast. God intends to use your spouse for what some call the Sandpaper Ministry—or maybe the Jackhammer or even the Dynamite Ministry.

The Most Profound Purpose: A Picture of Union with God

The most profound purpose goes beyond the practical. It is the seventh, found in Ephesians 5:31–32. Marriage is an illustration God intends to use to show us the relationship He desires with us—a oneness relationship. Only in God's marital math does one plus one equal one. He desires to take two individuals and join them as one.

Jesus rehearses these same words in Matthew 19: "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female... For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

That word "one flesh" is the very same Greek word Jesus uses in His High Priestly Prayer in John 17. The core theme of that prayer is oneness with God. "Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are one" (v. 11). Then He prays it again for those who would believe through their word—that's us: "that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us" (v. 21). He prays it again in verse 22, and again in verse 23. Do you see the theme?

United Together With Him in Love

Piece the passages together like a puzzle, and the image becomes clear. God's desire and design is that we would be united together with Him in love. What Paul reveals in Ephesians 5:31–32 is that the human relationship of marriage is a tangible and temporal illustration of this. Your marriage is earthly and temporal—you won't be married to your spouse in eternity. Some of you are saying "Praise Jesus"; I hope you're actually saying "That's a bummer." It points to the one relationship God desires to have with us.

Throughout 2,000 years of church history, the church has returned to this concept constantly: salvation is ultimately the absorbing of our nature into His, coming into unification with God. Marriage is the tangible, temporal example of it. And every human being has a deep-seated, hardwired desire for this kind of soul connection. At the foundation of that desire is a yearning for connection to God, whether people recognize it or not.

What Separates a Marriage—Death and Divorce

Jesus said, "What God has joined together, let not man separate." Two things cause separation, and both start with D. The first is death—"until death do us part." The second is divorce. I'm grateful my parents are still married after decades, as are my wife's. But growing up, more of my friends' parents were divorced than still together. No-fault divorce in the 20th century has led to the separation of many unions.

I want to be clear: divorce is never God's intended outcome. It is not His perfect will, though it is His permissive will. Jesus said Moses permitted a certificate of divorce because of our flesh—our fallen nature. Even death was not as God designed. Many of you have been deeply affected by divorce—your parents', or your own—and I know its painful devastation.

The Bible does give some legitimations for divorce. First is adultery, the clearest reason given in Scripture. Second, you can make a case for abandonment of the covenant. Third, I believe you can make a case for abuse. Those last two are harder to pick out of the text, so some would say adultery is the only true ground. Jesus speaks to this in Matthew 19. But it must be reiterated: divorce is always because of our flesh, and never God's perfect will.

Israel: A Bride Who Played the Harlot

That brings us back 2,800 years to Hosea. Israel—the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—were wedded to God. At Mount Sinai God spoke vows and promises, and they responded, "All that You have said we will do," essentially saying "I do" to God. They renewed their vows about forty years later at Kadesh in Deuteronomy. Then they came into the promised land and turned away from Him, which the Bible calls sin.

Sin always ruins relationship and results in death and separation. We see it from the earliest sin in Genesis 3 and everywhere else in Scripture. It is easy in such ruin to cast blame and point the finger at someone else, but the blame matters less than the fact that sin brings devastation, separation, and death.

Israel committed spiritual adultery while God remained faithful. They "played the harlot with other gods"—that's the imagery given. It began early. In Judges, after Joshua died, there arose a generation that did not know the Lord, and they served the Baals. Judges 2 says they forsook the Lord, followed other gods, and played the harlot with them. Their idolatry is pictured as adultery—a very tangible image meant to draw up emotions, especially for those who have been on the receiving end of unfaithfulness. They did this for centuries; by Hosea's time, almost 500 years had passed. Through all those centuries God repeatedly called His people back through prophets like Elijah, Elisha, Isaiah, and Jeremiah.

Hosea's Strange Calling and Three Children

God's message through Hosea is striking. In chapter 1, God called Hosea to do something that seems insane: marry an already immoral woman, knowing she would be unfaithful, so that the marriage would be a sign to the people. Hosea was essentially the last prophet before the divorce.

They had three children. The first, a son, was named Jezreel, meaning "he sows" or "he plants." God had planted His people in the land; Jezreel was a fertile valley. But God said, "Just as I planted you, I will uproot you from Jezreel and exile you from the land." The second child, a daughter, was named Lo-Ruhamah, meaning "no mercy." Mercy is not receiving what you deserve—like a police officer who lets you off with a warning when you deserved a ticket. God had been merciful for centuries, but now He says, "No more mercy." The third child, a son, was named Lo-Ammi, meaning "not My people." After 500-plus years of unfaithfulness, "You are no longer My people."

"Go Again and Love Her"

If that wasn't strange enough, chapter 3 brings stranger things. "Then the Lord said to me, 'Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery'" (v. 1). The implication is clear: Hosea and Gomer had married and started a family, and at some point she left and returned to her immorality—just as Israel kept returning to its idolatry. God says, go and love her again, even though she is being loved by a lover who is not you.

Why? Look at the end of verse 1: "just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans." In the same way that God brought His people back to Himself time and again, He tells Hosea to do likewise.

Adultery is the clearest legitimation for divorce in Scripture. Jesus said, "Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). Israel had repeatedly played the harlot upon every high hill and under every green tree. If ever God had the right to put away His people, He had it. If ever a man had grounds to put away his wife, Hosea had it with Gomer. And yet God says, go and love her again.

He even says, buy her back. "So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and one and a half homers of barley. And I said to her, 'You shall stay with me many days; you shall not play the harlot... So, too, will I be toward you.' For the children of Israel shall abide many days without king or prince... Afterward the children of Israel shall return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They shall fear the Lord and His goodness in the latter days" (vv. 2–5).

Faithful Love to a Persistently Unfaithful Lover

God's consistent example is one of faithful love to a persistently unfaithful lover. I've had conversations with people—usually those who think they know the Bible but have never read it—who assert that the God of the Old Testament is mean, wrathful, and vengeful. When I ask if they've actually read the text, they admit they haven't. To hold an opinion about something you know nothing about is called stupidity. What I've discovered, studying the Old Testament closely, is that God's consistent example from Genesis to Malachi is faithful love to a persistently unfaithful lover—mercy, grace, and kindness when those are the last possible outcome.

Consider this: about 250 to 300 years after Hosea, God calls back to His people again through Jeremiah. "Have you seen what backsliding Israel has done? She has gone up on every high mountain and under every green tree, and there played the harlot. And I said, after she had done all these things, 'Return to Me.' But she did not return" (Jeremiah 3:6–7). Even her treacherous sister Judah saw it and played the harlot too, only pretending repentance with her mouth.

Yet the Lord says, "Return, backsliding Israel... for I am merciful... I will not remain angry forever. Only acknowledge your iniquity... Return, O backsliding children... for I am married to you... I will bring you to Zion. And I will give you shepherds according to My heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding" (Jeremiah 3:12–15). After nearly a millennium of harlotry, God comes again and says, just acknowledge your sin and I will receive you, make you Mine again, be your God and you My people.

Ultimately Fulfilled in Jesus Christ

Where is all this fulfilled? Hosea alludes to God receiving His people back; Jeremiah speaks of it at Zion, with shepherds who feed them. This is most clearly fulfilled in Jesus Christ—God incarnate, Emmanuel, God with us. The name Hosea is from the same root as Yeshua, Jesus; Hosea is a type of Christ. Jesus came to do exactly what Hosea does in chapter 3: He goes and redeems His bride back to Himself. He comes to claim His bride, who in Ephesians 5 is the bride of Christ. Marriage is an illustration of what God intends to do to make us His once again. God's grace persisted even when Israel was unfaithful.

What would you do in Hosea's position, with a spouse persistently unfaithful? You would have every legal right under the law of Moses to put her away. But God called Hosea to do something amazing—buy her back—because it is a picture of Jesus, who comes and buys us back.

Shall We Continue in Sin?

This brings to mind Romans 5: "Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more." There's a problem with that for our minds: if you're persistently gracious to sinful people, won't they just keep sinning? Paul anticipates that in Romans 6: "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?"

I think of two scenes from the Gospels. First, in Luke 7, Jesus dined at the house of Simon the Pharisee, a man who tried to keep the law. A sinful woman came in weeping, anointed Jesus with costly perfume, and washed His feet with her tears and hair. Simon was indignant, thinking that if Jesus were a prophet He would know what kind of woman she was. In Simon's mind, he was good by his law-keeping, and would be defiled if a sinful person touched him.

Jesus, perceiving his thoughts, told of two debtors—one owing five hundred denarii, one owing fifty—both forgiven. Which would love more? Simon answered, the one forgiven more. Jesus said he had judged rightly, then noted how Simon gave no water, no kiss, no oil—but this woman had not ceased to honor Him. "She who has been forgiven much loves much." Then to the woman: "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you." That image gives me goosebumps every time.

Second, in John 8—a contested passage, but one that fits the character of Jesus—a woman caught in adultery is cast before Him. The religious leaders say Moses commanded she be stoned; what do you say? Jesus stooped and wrote on the ground. Then He stood and said, "He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first." The Greek is clear—he who is without the same sin. From oldest to youngest they left, until only Jesus and the woman remained. "Where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, Lord." "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more." That's the key—go and sin no more.

Shall we sin that grace may abound? Certainly not. "How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?... As many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death... that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life" (Romans 6:2–4).

Beware the Accidental Pharisee

God's kindness and grace are intended to bring us to repentance. The danger in studying Hosea is falling into a Simon-like self-righteousness, becoming accidental Pharisees who point at Israel and say, "What foolish idolaters—I would never do such a thing." Take heed when you think you stand, lest you fall. Paul says in Romans 2, "Do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?"

"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." When we see someone sin, our soul cries for justice and punishment—too much grace, we think. But we forget that we have all gone astray. Maybe you owe fifty denarii and that other person five hundred—be careful. We are no less unfaithful than Israel. We must come humbly before Him who bore our punishment. There needed to be a punishment, and Jesus bore it: "He was wounded for our transgressions... the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed."

We're going to partake of communion. Remember there was a payment made. Hosea paid for Gomer and redeemed her; Yeshua, Jesus, redeemed us by His precious blood poured out and His body broken. May we recognize we've been forgiven much, and that he who is forgiven much loves much. The person who recognizes how much they've been forgiven is humble toward others. If you look down on sinful people, you may not have recognized your own sin like Simon. Would to God that we recognize we have been rescued from so great a sin. "He who knew no sin became sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

Communion

Paul wrote to the Corinthians: "I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, 'Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you. Do this in remembrance of Me.'" Let's partake together.

"In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.'" Let's partake together.

Closing Prayer

Lord, You are good. You who knew no sin became sin for us. You took our guilt, our shame, our many sins and deaths upon Yourself and were punished in our place, that You might conquer sin and death on our behalf. In You we are more than conquerors; in You we are given grace and forgiveness; we are redeemed and adopted, justified in Your sight. God, help us to see not the greatness of our sin but the greatness of Your grace. Help us not to see the greatness of other people's sin but the greatness of Your love and grace for them as well, and to be lights of that to others.

I pray that we would be those who have received and enjoyed Your grace, and who would also be a conduit of Your grace to other people today and this week. Many are seeking to come into relationship with You without yet recognizing that is what they deeply desire; they don't realize they are separated by their own sin. Jesus, You paid it all. We trust wholly and completely in You and Your finished work, not in our good works—yet You have saved us for good works, saying to us as to the woman caught in adultery, "Go and sin no more." Help us to do the same. Pour out Your grace upon Your church, we pray. We praise You.

May the Lord bless you and keep you; may He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; may He lift up His countenance upon you and give you His peace. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God the Father, and the fellowship of His Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.