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Ephesians 5:3-5

Let It Not Once Be Named Among You

June 9, 2004 · Pastor Miles DeBenedictis

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Teaching from Ephesians 5:3-5, Pastor Miles urges believers to follow Christ closely as dear children, warning that sexual immorality and other sins are the traps by which the enemy binds Christians and steals the abundant life Jesus came to give. Using his own high school testimony and the life of Samson, he shows how drifting from the Lord leads to bondage, but God's grace still calls the wayward back.

  • Jesus came not only to save us from hell but to give abundant life here and now (John 10:10).
  • The enemy must first bind a believer before he can plunder their joy and abundant life (Mark 3:27; Hebrews 12:1).
  • The first sins named in Ephesians 5:3—fornication, uncleanness, covetousness—are among the enemy's chief traps for strong young believers.
  • Verses warning that the immoral have no inheritance in God's kingdom should sober us and drive us to self-examination (Ephesians 5:5; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
  • When we cry out, God meets us, breaks our bonds, and restores us (Psalm 107; 1 Corinthians 6:11).
  • Samson shows how great potential is wasted when great passions lead to great problems—sin blinds, binds, and grinds.

Readable is a lightly edited reading copy; Verbatim stays close to the spoken words. The audio and video are the record of what was said.

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not once be named among you, as becometh saints... For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. ()

Jesus came to give abundant life—so why do so many believers find it stolen away?

Saved For More Than Heaven

What a blessing it is to be able to get away from home to seek the Lord. As I considered the heat you face out in Arizona, I realized that as believers in Christ, that's the hottest we will ever experience. We will never endure the dreadful heat of hell, because of what our Lord did for us 2,000 years ago and because of our faith in that work on Calvary.

We are saved by grace through faith, and that not of ourselves—it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast (). He reaches down to us when we come to him broken, and he continues to pour out his grace. Yes, he has saved us from hell and saved us to heaven, and I look forward to being with him eternally.

But there are many churches in America that have focused almost exclusively on "you're saved from hell, you're going to heaven." That's wonderful—but if that's all Jesus saved us for, what about now? What about this life here and today? Life can be difficult. Did not Jesus save us for something else here and now? He did.

The Abundant Life and the Thief

In , Jesus says, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." He didn't say, "I am come just so you don't go to hell." As I look at the condition of the church, there are many believers who are not living an abundant life—people walking into church with their Bibles who have no joy, no victory. You look at them and think, if that's what a Christian looks like, I'm not sure I want it.

The reason is at the beginning of that verse: "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy." Who is that thief? Satan, our adversary. Many believers who desire abundant life feel something has been stolen away from them. How did that happen?

First the Strong Man Must Be Bound

In Jesus says, "No man can enter into a strong man's house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house." Contextually Jesus is speaking of something else, but the principle holds. You can't break into a strong man's house and take his things until you first tie him up.

Some Christians started strong and look great on the outside—Bible everywhere, fish sticker on the car. We think, that person really has it together. But as you get to know them, you see no joy, no abundant life, no victory. The enemy has come in and spoiled their goods. But before he could, he first bound them up and ensnared them with his traps. Once a person is snared, the enemy has free reign to rob their joy and plunder the abundant life God desires to give.

That abundant life is the best witness in this world. We hold apologetics classes and evangelism training so we can answer the Mormon at the door, and those have their place—but in all my arguing, I've never once had someone say, "You're right, I need Jesus." The greatest witness tool the Lord has used in my life is when people look at it and ask: How do you have joy? How do you have peace? What is this love you have? These describe the abundant life, and they are a far greater witness than having an answer to every question.

Bound by Sin

Before the abundant life can be stolen, we have to be bound by something. What? answers: "Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us"—the sin that so easily ensnares and traps us—"and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith."

There are many people in the church today—maybe even in this room—bound up by sin, trapped by the enemy's little snares, and so he has robbed their joy. Many were strong believers at one point and are now bound. I suggest it never would have happened if they had heeded what we find here in Ephesians.

In :1, Paul tells us to put off the old man, corrupt according to deceitful lusts, and put on the new man created in righteousness and true holiness—to put away lying, stealing, bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking, and all malice, and to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God for Christ's sake has forgiven us: "Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children." If we heed this and follow the Lord in this manner, we won't find ourselves plundered by the enemy.

Follow Close Behind as Dear Children

Last week in Arizona I watched my young nephews, Micah and Luke. They stay right next to their parents. If dad gets ten feet away, they start crying—"come here, pick me up." They imitate everything their father does. That is how we are to be with our Father in heaven, right at his heels. says, "My soul followeth hard after thee." We follow close behind, never letting distance come between us and him.

When distance comes, it's never God's fault—he doesn't walk too fast. We drift back because we get distracted by other things. When I was five at the Del Mar Fair, I got distracted looking around and suddenly my mom was gone. It frightened me. In the same way, when we linger back from the Lord, distance comes, and that's when we find ourselves in big trouble.

I once watched a nature program at the gym—a lion stalking a herd of gazelles. The lion fixes on the one lagging at the back of the pack. The Bible says our adversary the devil prowls like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (). He looks for the one lingering at the back, the one not following close behind, and that's where he snares you. Then your joy is gone and you're bound by sin.

says, "And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us." 1 John tells us God is love, and anyone who dwells in love dwells in God. So we must dwell in his love, following close behind, imitating him, so we don't get snared.

Let It Not Once Be Named

Then verse 3: "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not once be named among you, as becometh saints." That word once matters. In high school there's a mindset in all our flesh—to walk the line. "Yeah, I'm a Christian and I go to church, but I like hanging out with this group at school. They do some stuff the Bible talks against, but I'm not doing it, I'm just around them."

That's where I was my freshman and sophomore year, even while being a leader in the youth group. And I was spiritually proud. I grew up in a Christian home, led in the youth group, was in the Christian club, didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't party, got good grades, didn't cuss. My spiritual head was like an orange on a toothpick. says, "For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself." And : "Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." I thought I was standing just fine.

My Own Fall

Then I came to this camp. There was a girl here, and she sat down behind me and said, "You have nice ears." That started a conversation, and by the end of that winter camp I thought, that's the girl I'm going to marry. We went home as the new church couple, and it wasn't long—about two months—before we started falling into sin.

But I was a leader, and so was she, so I couldn't let anyone know. "Oh, things are great. Sure, I'll teach that Bible study. I'll lead that prayer meeting." But in my heart something was missing. My joy, my peace—all the blessings—started to go away. The enemy had finally found something that could trip me up. He had dangled drugs and other things in front of me and I wasn't interested. But he kept dangling until he found the bait I would take, and then he reeled me in, and I was bound.

The first three sins Paul names are related: fornication, uncleanness, covetousness—sexual immorality and evil desire. From experience, I believe this is one of the number one things the enemy uses to lure away strong young believers, to rob their peace and joy and abundant life until they're condemned, saying, "Lord, I don't know what to do."

The Verses That Scared Me

During that time, verses like scared me half to death: "For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." I'd read it and think, oh no, what am I going to do? Then I'd read : "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers... shall inherit the kingdom of God."

If you're in the place I was, I hope those verses scare you too—that they cause you to ask, am I really saved? The Word tells us to test ourselves to see whether we are in the faith. Jesus said you're either for him or against him. Are we following him, or going in another direction? I was going the other way, and those verses terrified me.

But then I came to : "And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God." That word were gave me hope. I began to cry out: Lord, I am not who I thought I was. I was self-deceived and spiritually proud. I need you to clean me out, because I can't do this on my own.

God Breaks the Bonds

speaks of those who sit in darkness, bound in affliction and in iron, "because they rebelled against the words of God, and contemned the counsel of the most High." Because they didn't heed what God said in and 5, they're now bound in darkness. Verse 12: "Therefore he brought down their heart with labour." Even going to church felt like a heavy burden—I didn't want to be there, feeling everyone must know I was in sin, even though you can snow a lot of people.

But verse 13: "Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder... For he hath broken the gates of brass, and cut the bars of iron in sunder." I came flat on my face and cried, "Lord, I need help, I can't do this on my own," and he met me right there.

Statistically I know there are many in this room dealing with exactly what verse 3 describes. You may be bound right now, living in condemnation, even though says "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus." In some way you've stepped back and stopped following close behind, and the abundant life has been stolen. Remember, eternal life isn't just heaven when we die—"this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent" (). It began the day you said, "Lord, I want to know you."

Do Not Be Deceived

: "Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience." There's a teaching going around that gets labeled "Christian liberty." Yes, the Bible speaks of liberty in Christ—he has set us free. But I know people who say, "I'm living with my girlfriend, that's okay, I have liberty in Christ," or "I smoke dope occasionally, but I have liberty." Let no one deceive you. The wrath of God is coming upon the children of disobedience—"be not ye therefore partakers with them."

I love to partake with the Lord in his blessings. But would any of you like to partake in the wrath of God with the sons of disobedience? Read the end of Revelation—the cup of wrath and indignation. Ask Lot about Sodom and Gomorrah. says, "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient"—not helpful—"but I will not be brought under the power of any." I will not be bound up by fleshly desires that let the thief come in and steal the abundant life Christ died to give us.

Samson: Great Potential, Great Passions, Great Problems

In the book of Judges we meet Samson—a man of incredible potential. Before he was even conceived, God set him apart as a Nazirite: no fruit of the vine, nothing unclean or dead, and no razor on his head as a sign of the covenant. He was to begin delivering Israel from the Philistines. Every one of you in this room this morning has incredible potential like that.

But along with great potential came great passions, and his passions brought great problems. He traveled where he shouldn't have—down to a Philistine city, demanding his father get him a Philistine woman for a wife. Walking in the vineyards of Timnah (vineyards he was never to go near), a lion came upon him. He was strong and killed it with his bare hands. But notice: he was already in a place he shouldn't have been, and that's where the roaring lion pounces.

Later he returned to that vineyard, found the lion's carcass with bees and honey inside, reached into the dead body—touching the unclean—and ate the honey, even sharing it with his parents without telling them where it came from. No accountability. He was traveling where he shouldn't be, touching what he shouldn't touch, and tasting what was unclean. From there his life only went downhill. He never once had rest—always fighting, always pursued.

Blind, Bound, and Grinding

In he meets Delilah, a Philistine paid by her people to discover the secret of his strength. Three times she bound him—with bowstrings, with new ropes, with his hair woven into a loom—and three times she cried, "The Philistines be upon thee, Samson," and three times he broke free. By now he should have seen she was not safe.

But she pressed him daily until "his soul was vexed unto death," and he told her all his heart—that his strength lay in his unshaven head. She lulled him to sleep on her knees, had his hair cut off, and his strength left him. The man who had killed a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey awoke saying, "I will go out as at other times"—but he did not know the LORD had departed from him. The Philistines seized him, put out his eyes, bound him with fetters of brass, and set him grinding in the prison house.

Sin will blind you, bind you, and then grind you to pieces. There Samson is, grinding away—a man of great potential whose passions led to great problems because he kept drifting from the Lord, confident in his own strength until the strength was gone.

Grace Still Extends the Hand

Yet says, "Howbeit the hair of his head began to grow again after he was shaven." That is the grace of God, still extending the hand of mercy: "Samson, come back." At the Philistines' great drunken feast they brought him out to mock him, and he asked to be led to the pillars of the house. He prayed, "Lord, just this once, give me strength," and pushed the pillars down—killing more Philistines at his death than in all his life.

But the only time his great potential was truly used for God's glory was when he died. A wasted life. Will we see Samson in heaven? I believe we will. But the abundant life God desired for him on earth, he never experienced. How sad if that becomes the testimony of your life or mine. It doesn't have to be, if we take heed to the Word of God.

Then You Shall Have Good Success

In , as Joshua took up the leadership of Israel, God told him: "Be strong and of a good courage... Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law... turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest. This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night... for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success."

The world is looking everywhere for success and prosperity. God's answer is different from the world's: success in his kingdom comes as we follow his Word, turning neither to the right nor the left. This room holds over 400 people with incredible potential for the kingdom of God. Consider what God did through twelve apostles, and consider what he can do through your life—but it won't happen if you let the enemy bind you up in sin and plunder the abundant life Christ wants to give. So be imitators of God as dear children, following close behind him, and do not let these things once be named among you—because they will blind you, bind you, and grind you.

Closing Prayer

Father, I thank you for your Word and its application for us today. I ask, Lord, that you would take this word and plant it deep in our hearts. Even now I know the enemy seeks like a bird to devour the seed you've planted this morning; perhaps the cares of this world creep around it like weeds, or it has fallen on stony ground. But I ask by your Spirit that you would rip out those weeds, shoot down those birds, and break up that fallow ground. God, take your Word and use it in my life and in the lives of my brothers and sisters here. Help us to be imitators of you, to follow hard after you, to seek you first, and to realize the life you desire to give us. As Paul did, help us to lay aside all these things and press on toward the goal, to lay hold of that for which you have laid hold of us. For we ask it in Jesus' name. Amen.

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