1 Corinthians 7:32

This I say, brethren, that the time is short... He that is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that is married cares for the things of this world, how he may please his wife... But she that is married cares for the things of this world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit, not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction. (1 Corinthians 7:29–35)

Marriage is a blessing—but so is singleness, and Scripture calls us to recognize the strategic, undistracted opportunity it offers for the Lord.

Why This Study Has Taken So Long

This is our fifth study in 1 Corinthians 7, where we have been addressing the issues of marriage and singleness. As we finish today, I want to express my heart. In 1 Timothy 4:1, Paul writes:

Now the Spirit speaks expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies and hypocrisy, having their conscience seared with a hot iron, and forbidding to marry.

The Spirit revealed that one sign of the last days is that people would be forbidding to marry—a word that can also be translated hindering, preventing, or withholding. There is debate over whether we are living in the last days; I believe we are. But no one can debate that our culture is shifting in its thinking about marriage and singleness. More and more people are hindering and withholding marriage—yet they are not choosing singleness either.

From 2009 to 2010, the number of unmarried couples living together in America rose 13%. The median age for first marriage has been increasing for decades. But biblically, God calls adults either to be married or to remain single. He does not allow for unmarried people to live together in what we might call a mock marriage. Either an adult is to be married, or they are to be single.

Divided Opinions at Corinth

There were divided opinions and divided pressures in the church at Corinth. Some regarded marriage as more blessed and holy; others saw singleness as more spiritual and right. But Paul's teaching has been very clear: singleness is good, even a blessing, for those gifted and called to be single. Marriage is honorable and God-glorifying for those gifted and called to be married.

In this last section, verses 25–40, Paul dedicates most of his attention to singles and exhorts them to remain single—not because marriage is bad, but because it is a blessing. He gives six thoughts for singles to consider. Last week we covered three: the pressures of the day (the winds of persecution were beginning to blow, and the cares of marriage and family are multiplied under such pressure), the problems in marriage (couples often wrongly assume marriage will solve all their fleshly problems, when in fact some problems are abated and others aggravated), and the passing of the world (the time is short, so we ought to live with abandon for the King and His kingdom).

As Alistair Begg has said, "When high seas are raging, it's no time to change ships." High seas were raging at Corinth. Celibacy was not more spiritual, but in light of the difficulty, Paul said it may be more sensible.

The Preoccupations of Marriage

Today, beginning at verse 32, we come to the preoccupations of marriage. Paul's clear desire is that Christians serve the Lord without concern—as unencumbered as possible. The Phillips paraphrase captures it: "I should like you to be as unencumbered as possible... The unmarried man is free to concern himself with the Lord's affairs and how he may please him. But the married man is sure to be concerned with the matters of this world, that he may please his wife."

The word unmarried (Greek agamos) can speak of someone never married, someone widowed, or someone unmarried because of divorce. Paul encourages the unmarried to remain single because of the practical advantages of singleness.

It is unfortunate that our culture—and even our church culture—often gives a squinty-eyed look at single individuals, or pities them. We are guilty of making singles feel uncomfortable in their singleness, when in reality they have a great opportunity to serve God wholeheartedly without distraction. God has a unique call and opportunity for them in the state they are in.

A Question for Singles

The single individual cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. Does he? If you're single today, are you more concerned about the things of the Lord and how you may please Him than about your own pleasure and affairs? Many singles, even within the body of Christ, are more interested in their own life, pleasures, and way. Imagine how the church would be different if the body of Christ were more concerned about pleasing the Lord than any other endeavor.

The word translated cares means to be anxious, troubled with, to provide for, to seek to promote one's interests. Are you seeking to promote the interests of God, or do you have your own agenda? As a single person, you have a strategic, vital, and unique opportunity in the work of God. Are you hopelessly devoted to the work of the Lord, or depressed over your singleness and wrapped up in trying to alter your circumstance?

I'll be honest—I didn't believe this when I was told it as a single person, but I've come to know it from experience. God did not bring my wife into my life until I was content in singleness, until I actually enjoyed the opportunities I had as a single individual. I was completely content—until one day this beautiful woman walked into the coffee shop where I worked, and there was a sudden lack of contentment. I liked her more than just liked her, so I married her. That's not a bad thing—marriage is good. But we need to recognize that singleness can also be a good and blessed thing, and we don't put that forth enough in our culture.

Sanctified Distractions

Paul says the married man cares for the things of this world. He does not judge this as wrong; he merely states it as a fact. The married individual has a twofold concern—an added concern the single person does not have. Therefore the single individual can be wholly dedicated to the work of God.

I agree with Darren Patrick, who says in his book on church planting that your wife and children are "God's sanctified distractions." How so? Solomon says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord," and Psalm 127 says children are a gift and reward from the Lord. (Ladies, I didn't find a verse saying a husband is a gift from God, but I believe that's the case.) A wife and children are blessings, but they come with inherent distractions—sanctified distractions, yes, but distractions nonetheless.

It's like any possession that requires our care. Before being married and having children, I cared little about things back home when I traveled. There was an openness to go anywhere, anytime, for any length. But now whenever I travel, I'm hardly past the ticket counter before I start to miss my family and pray that the Lord would protect them.

I used to enjoy flying—I've always been intrigued by it, even though it's not comfortable when you're over six feet tall in coach. But now that I'm married with children, thoughts go through my mind that never did before. I think about being 35,000 feet up, jetting along at over 500 miles per hour in a pressurized steel cylinder. The thought has even occurred to me that I feel closer to death than ever before. It's probably not true, but it crosses my mind now.

J.B. Lightfoot said, "A man who is a hero in himself becomes a coward when he thinks of his widowed wife and his orphaned children." Thoughts of a will and life insurance never entered my mind when I was single, but with marriage and children came a pressure that was never there before. Someone will ask, "Pastor, where's the faith in that?" I'll look you in the eye and quote the Apostle Paul: the married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities. And Paul says the same of the married woman in verse 34—she cares how she may please her husband.

For Your Own Profit

Notice verse 35: "I speak this for your own profit, and not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction." Circle that verse—it is key to the whole chapter. Paul is not placing a heavy burden of his own opinion on the Corinthians. He is saying, "I am saying these things for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in an upright and undivided way toward the Lord." This is to be a blessing to you, not a curse.

Controlling Passions

In verses 36–38, Paul speaks about controlling passions. These verses have been the center of much debate, with little agreement among commentators and even translations. One group sees a father deciding about his betrothed daughter; another (including the NLT and NIV) sees a man in relationship with his fiancée. After weeks of meditating on this, I've concluded—in the context of the passage—that Paul is speaking to the one considering marriage with a person he is betrothed or engaged to.

The New Living Translation makes it clear: "If a man thinks he ought to marry his fiancée because he has had trouble controlling his passions and time is passing, it's all right. It is not a sin. Let them get married. But if he decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry."

In both Jewish and Roman culture, marriages were typically arranged by parents. The idea is this: if a marriage has been arranged and either person concludes that perhaps the Lord is calling them to singleness—and they can control their passions—Paul says they don't have to marry. But if they conclude, "I'd really like to get married," then get married; you have not sinned. This is important for our culture and the younger generation. If, in seeking the Lord, you conclude you'd rather serve Him single and can control your passions, that's an okay thing—and the church needs to recognize it.

For Paul, the choice between marriage and singleness was not between good and bad, but between better and best. Because of the present circumstances, he regarded singleness as best.

The Permanence of Marriage

Lastly, verses 39–40 address the permanence of marriage. God's design is that a man and woman be bound together as long as they both live, inseparably bound until death. At that point, the widow is at liberty to marry whomever she desires—although she must marry a believer.

You might think a person who has already been married wouldn't need to be told to marry a believer—that's what we tell kids in the youth group. But Paul says it to the widow because many widowed believers fail to recognize this truth. Feeling the pain of loss and grieving the loss of companionship, some have made bad decisions and married quickly to someone who is not a believer. The statistics are interesting: in our nation, 61% of widowed males remarry within 25 months of their spouse's death—but only 19% of women.

The Blessing That Remains

Paul says in verse 40 that the widow is happier if she remains single. Happier may not be the word you'd expect. But the same word is translated "blessed" 44 times elsewhere in the New Testament; only here is it rendered "happier." That individual is blessed if she so abides. This is Paul's judgment, perhaps from experience—some believe Paul himself was widowed.

No one desires the grief of losing a spouse, and initially the widowed person can hardly envision a day of happiness again. But Paul says that day will come, and there is a blessing that yet remains. One application is that the widow should move very slowly toward remarriage, taking time to consider that the Lord may desire to use her singleness in these latter years to be a blessing to His kingdom—undistracted in service, because the time is short and the fashion of this world is passing away.

A Blessing in Singleness

It all boils down to this: singles need to know there is a blessing in singleness, even though our culture doesn't see it. And the church needs to know it too, so that we don't look at a single person and say, "I feel so bad for you; you don't have anybody." Not so. There is a blessing in marriage, but there is also a blessing in singleness.

Unfortunately, we've carried into our minds the same thing ancient Jews felt—that singleness is a curse. Not necessarily. So if you're single today—whether never married, widowed, or through the difficulty of divorce—consider that God may desire to use your life in a way you never understood before and extend a blessing you don't yet recognize. Continue to serve the Lord unhindered, undistracted, and unencumbered until He comes.

Closing Prayer

Father, I thank You for the clarity of the truth of Your word. Help us to take these things to heart, recognizing that Your word is good and true, written for our profit—not to bind us or restrict us, but that we would more fully enjoy the abundant life You desire for us. For those married in our fellowship, give them strength in the troubles, the discouragements, and the distractions, but help them recognize the blessing they have, for he who finds a wife finds a good thing and children are a heritage from You. For those who are single in our church, minister to their hearts this truth—that You meet their deepest needs for companionship, that You have a larger plan in view, and that You are calling them to a greater level of service than they've ever experienced. I thank You for the examples of those wholeheartedly devoted to You, even Christina, as she prepares to go out on the mission field as a single adult, content in You. We praise You and thank You in Jesus' name. Amen.