1 Corinthians 7:32

This I say, brethren, that the time is short. It remains that both they which have wives be as though they had none, and they that weep as though they wept not, and they that rejoice as though they rejoice not, and they that buy as though they possess not, and they that use the world as not abusing it, for the fashion of this world is passing away.

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that is married cares for the things of this world, how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin or an unmarried girl. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy, both body and spirit. But she that is married cares for the things of this world, how she may please her husband.

And this I speak for your own profit, not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

Lord, as we look into your word, we ask that you would continue to teach and instruct us by it. You give us wisdom and understanding to interpret and apply the passage that's before us, Lord. Transform us more and more into the image of your Son, that we may serve with your glory in view. For we ask this in Jesus' name, and all God's people agreed, saying, Amen. You can be seated.

This is now our fifth study in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, where we have been addressing for quite some time now the issues of marriage and singleness. Perhaps you're wondering why we're taking so long to examine the passage that's before us. As we finish it today, I think it is necessary to express my heart.

In 1 Timothy chapter 4, Paul says in verse 1, "Now the Spirit speaks expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith."

Giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies and hypocrisy, having their conscience seared with a hot iron, and forbidding to marry. The Spirit revealed to the Apostle Paul that one of the signs of the last days is that people would be forbidding to marry. The word translated "forbidding" can also be translated as "hindering," "preventing," or "withholding."

Now, there is debate among some about whether or not we are living in the last days. I believe that we are. However, I don't think there would be any who would debate the fact that, in our day, we are seeing a shift in the thinking of our culture as it relates to marriage and singleness. More and more people are hindering, preventing, and withholding marriage today. But that does not mean that they are choosing to live in a single fashion. They are not marrying, but they are not remaining single either.

From 2009 to 2010, the number of unmarried couples living together in America rose by 13%. Statistics have shown for quite some time that the median age for people to be first married—sadly, I have to say, for their first marriage—has been increasing for decades. Biblically speaking, God calls adults to either be married or to remain single. He does not allow for unmarried people to live together in what we might call a mock marriage. The Scriptures make it very clear: either an adult is to be married, or they are to be single.

There were divided opinions and, therefore, divided pressures within the church at Corinth. As I've mentioned many times while going through this book so far, some regarded marriage as more blessed and holy, while others saw singleness as more spiritual and right. But Paul's teaching has been very clear: singleness is good and even a blessing to those who are gifted and called to be single. Marriage is honorable and God-glorifying, again for those who are gifted and called to be married.

As we began to consider this last section of 1 Corinthians 7 last week, verses 25-40, we see these themes further explored.

We see that Paul is dedicating most of his attention in these last verses to singles, and he is exhorting them to remain single. Although he recognizes and makes it very clear that he does not think marriage is bad, but rather a blessing from God, he endorses singleness in this passage. He provides six thoughts for single individuals to consider as it relates to remaining single. We considered three of them last week in our study.

One of the reasons Paul was endorsing singleness among the Corinthians was the pressures of the day. In verses 25-27, he discusses these pressures. The winds of persecution were beginning to blow and stir in the city of Corinth and throughout the Roman Empire. Therefore, Paul was encouraging those who were single to remain single because the cares of marriage and family are multiplied under such pressures and persecutions. It is one thing to face persecution, suffering, and death as a single person; it is quite another to face them when you are married with children.

We saw this very clearly in the video about the persecuted church. There was a point where Salavat said, "I'm not afraid of going to prison, but I pray, please God, don't let my family go hungry." That is not a thought that goes through the mind of most single people. The single person does not have to worry about who will take care of a spouse or who will look after children. As it has been said, marriage and children sweeten labors, but they make misfortune more bitter. This is very true.

Paul makes it clear that he is encouraging singleness because of the pressures of the day. Celibacy is not more spiritual, but in light of the difficulties occurring at that time, Paul suggests it may be more sensible. As Alistair Begg has said, when high seas are raging, it is no time to change ships. High seas were indeed raging among those in Corinth.

He also made it very clear, as we saw last week in verse 28, that marriage is not sinful. However, there are problems in the flesh in marriage. There are the pressures of the day and the problems in marriage.

Couples often wrongly assume that marriage will answer all the problems they have in their flesh, but such is not the case. Paul wanted to make it very clear to those considering marriage that there are certain problems inherent in it. It's not necessarily an unspiritual thing or a wrong thing; Paul just states it as a reality. While some fleshly problems may be alleviated in marriage, others can be aggravated.

Do we have any married couples here today who might say, "Yeah, that is true," if we're honest? There is the pressure of the day, the problems of the flesh, and the issues even within marriage. Last week, we also discussed the passing of the world. The time is short, and the world is passing away. Therefore, we ought to live, as Paul says, with abandon for the King and His kingdom. We considered those three points: the pressures of the day, the problems in marriage, and the passing of the world.

Today, beginning at verse 32, we look at the preoccupations of marriage. Verse 32 states, "But I would have you to be without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that is married cares for the things of this world, how he may please his wife."

There is also a difference between a wife and an unmarried woman, a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, how she may be holy, both in body and spirit. However, she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. Paul's clear desire is that Christians would serve the Lord without concern, that the Christian, he or she, would be as unencumbered as possible.

Just listen as I read from the Phillips paraphrase of this passage. He says, "I should like you to be as unencumbered as possible. All our futures are so foreshortened. The present scheme of things is rapidly passing away. That is why I should like you to be as free from worldly entanglements as possible." The unmarried man is free to concern himself with the Lord's affairs and how he may please Him, but the married man is sure to be concerned with the matters of this world, that he may please his wife.

We've previously considered in our study of 1 Corinthians 7 that the word "unmarried," the Greek word "agamos," can refer to someone who has never been married, someone who is now unmarried because their spouse has died, or someone who is widowed.

Unmarried individuals often find themselves in this situation due to divorce. Paul encourages unmarried people to remain single because there are practical advantages to singleness. I have made it clear a number of times as we've been going through this chapter, and I think it's important to recognize again that it is unfortunate that we, in our culture today, often have a squinty-eyed look at the single individual. In some way, we pity them because they are single.

We are more than guilty of making singles feel uncomfortable in their singleness when, in reality, we and they need to recognize the great opportunity they have in serving God. They can serve God wholeheartedly without distraction. There are distractions inherent within marriage, and so I don't think it's a good thing that, in our culture and even in our church culture, we have a tendency to make single individuals feel uncomfortable. God has a unique call for them and an opportunity for them in the state in which they are.

Paul says that the single individual cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. If you're single here today, that's an important thing to consider. Are you more concerned about the things of the Lord and how you may please Him than you are about your own pleasure and your own affairs? Because that's what Paul says is the intent. The single individual should recognize that they have a unique opportunity to serve God with total abandon.

This ought to be the focus of the single person. Are you, as a single individual today, more concerned about the Lord's affairs and how you may please Him, or are you more concerned about trying to get out of your singleness? I would suggest that many singles, even within the body of Christ, are more concerned or more interested in their own lives, their own pleasures, and their own ways.

But could you imagine how the world might be different or how the church would be different if the body of Christ were more interested and more concerned about the things of the Lord and pleasing Him than any other endeavor in life? The word that is translated here as "cares" is also defined as to be anxious or troubled with, to care for, or to look for.

To provide for and to seek to promote one's interests is a common pursuit. Are you, if you're single today, seeking to promote the interests of God, or do you have your own agenda? As a single person, you have a strategic, vital, and unique opportunity to serve God—a role in the work of God. Are you hopelessly devoted to the work of the Lord, or are you rather depressed because of your singleness, the state in which you're in? Are you wrapped up in trying to alter the situation, the circumstance that God has allowed you to be in today, or are you serving the Lord?

To be quite honest with you, I didn't believe it when I was told this as a single individual, but I've come to recognize it as the case now from experience. I know from experience that God did not bring my wife into my life until I was content in the state of singleness. I came to the place where it was okay to be single, and I actually enjoyed the opportunities that I had as a single individual. I was completely content in that until one day, this beautiful woman walked into the coffee shop where I was working, and then there was a little lack of contentment with singleness at that point. I found that I liked her, and I liked her more than just liked her. So, I married her. That's not a bad thing; as Paul says, marriage is a good thing.

However, we need to recognize that singleness is also, and can also be, a good and blessed thing. I don't think that we recognize that. If we do recognize it, we don't put that forth enough in our culture. Paul says that he who is married cares for the things of this world. Now, Paul does not discourage or judge this as wrong; he merely states it as a fact. It is a reality. He who is married cares about the things of this world. He has more worldly cares than a single individual. This does not mean that the married individual cares less for or is less concerned about the work and the things of God. It's just that the married individual has a twofold concern. They have an added concern that the single person does not have.

Therefore, the single individual can be unencumbered and wholly dedicated to the work of God. We must recognize that the distraction that marriages bring is a very real thing. I agree with Darren Patrick in his book on church planting when he says that your wife and your children, if you have them, are God's sanctified distractions. I like that. They are God's sanctified distractions.

How so? Well, Solomon in the Proverbs says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." In Psalm 127, it states that children are a gift from the Lord and a reward from Him. We recognize that a wife and children are gifts from God. Now, ladies, I didn't find anywhere in the Bible where it says a husband is a gift from God, but I believe that's the case. Some of you may have issues with that. It does say that a wife is a gift from the Lord, and children are as well. They are gifts; they are certainly blessings, but they come with inherent distractions.

Sanctified distractions, yes, but we must recognize that they can be distractions. I don't want to diminish the blessing of marriage, but the distractions associated with it are like any possession that we might have. Something that we possess often involves our care in taking care of it. If you possess a vehicle today, it's a blessing to have that mobility in our culture and society. However, there are certain cares and distractions that come with it. You have to make sure that you're caring for it.

Prior to being married and having children, I cared very little about things back home when I would travel abroad. There was an openness to be able to just go at any time, anywhere, and for any length of time. For the most part, there was a lot of opportunity to just go anywhere, and I didn't really think much about how it would affect things back here at the time.

Now, I find that whenever I travel, I'm hardly past the ticket counter at the airport before I start to miss my family and pray that the Lord would keep them and protect them while I'm gone. Just a week or so ago, I was talking with a friend of mine, and we were agreeing about this truth. He was saying, "You know, before I was married, I never thought much about flying. Before I had children, it never really crossed my mind."

And I had to say, yes, I agree. In fact, I really enjoy flying. I've always been intrigued by it and have considered it fun, even though it's not the most comfortable thing when you're over six feet tall and in coach. However, now that I'm married and have children, there are thoughts that go through my mind that never occurred to me before.

Ever since I've been married and have children, I find that I'm thinking more about the fact that we are 35,000 feet up in the air right now, jetting along at over 500 miles per hour in a pressurized steel cylinder that weighs nearly a million pounds. You start to think this is a little strange and disconcerting in some ways. As my wife would say, it's unnatural. She doesn't like to fly. Those are thoughts that never crossed my mind before.

In fact, I found that in the last few times I've flown, and I will admit it's kind of a ludicrous thought, the idea has occurred to me that I feel closer to death than I ever have before. Now, it may or may not be true; it's probably not. But that thought has crossed my mind a few times, and it was never there before I had children. J.B. Lightfoot said, "A man who is a hero in himself becomes a coward when he thinks of his widowed wife and his orphaned children."

The thought of a will or life insurance never entered my mind when I was single. Then, when I got married and had children, all of a sudden, there was a pressure surrounding those things that was never there before. I know there will be someone, I guarantee it, who would say to me, "Well, now, pastor, where's the faith in that?" To which I will have no problem looking you in the eye and quoting the Apostle Paul.

The married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities; he cares about the things of this world. There are certain concerns. Paul says it's not just the married man, but also the married and unmarried woman. The married woman cares about the things of this world, how she may please her husband. But notice what Paul says in verse 35: "I speak this for your own profit and not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely and that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction."

Would you lean over and circle that verse in your neighbor's Bible, the person sitting next to you? I truly believe that this is a key verse for chapter seven. It's so important to recognize that Paul is not placing a heavy burden of his own opinion on those at the Church of Corinth when he's teaching about singleness and marriage here. He's saying, "I am saying these things for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in an upright and undivided way toward the Lord." I'm saying this for your own benefit, says Paul. This is to be a blessing to you and not a curse.

Paul speaks to the preoccupations of marriage, and now in verses 36 through 38, he addresses controlling passions. He writes, "But if any man thinks that he behaves himself uncomely towards his virgin, if she passes the flower of her age and needs so require, let them do what he will. He sins not. Let them marry. Nevertheless, he that stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will and has so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin does well. So then he that gives her in marriage does well, but he that gives not in marriage does better."

Verses 36, 37, and 38 have been the center of much debate. There is little agreement among commentators and even translations. Translations are in conflict here as it relates to how these verses ought to be interpreted and translated. One set of translations and one set of commentators and Bible teachers see this verse speaking of a father regarding his unmarried daughter whom he has betrothed in marriage. Another group of commentators, including the New Living Translation and the New International Version of the Bible, interpret this verse to speak about a man in his relationship with his fiancée, someone he has betrothed to or engaged to.

I have been thinking a lot about these verses for the last several weeks as we've been preparing to come to this point, meditating upon it and trying to deconstruct it to consider what is being said here. In the context of the passage, and you can disagree with me on this, I have come to the conclusion that Paul is speaking to the one.

That is in relationship with a person and considering marriage, a person that is betrothed or engaged to somebody else. I think the New Living Translation does a good job in making this clear when it says, "But if a man thinks he ought to marry his fiancée because he has had trouble controlling his passions and time is passing, it's all right. It is not a sin. Let them get married. But if he decides firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry."

So then, the person who marries does well, and the person who doesn't marry does even better. Now, what exactly is going on here? In both the Jewish culture of old and the Roman culture, typically couples were betrothed or set up for marriage by their parents. It was arranged marriages. The idea here is that if there were two individuals for whom a marriage had been arranged, and either the male or the female comes to the conclusion that perhaps the Lord is not calling them to be married and they can control their passions, Paul says, "Don't get married."

If, in the course of considering marriage, you come to the conclusion that you don't know if the Lord is calling you to be married, maybe the Lord has called you to be single. That's not a bad thing. However, if you come to that point and you're considering marriage and say, "I'd really like to get married," then go ahead and get married. You have not sinned; it's okay.

I think this is a very important thing for our culture and for the younger generation today. If, in the course of seeking the Lord and discovering whether or not He might call you to be married, you come to the conclusion that you'd rather serve the Lord and don't believe you are going to be married, and you can control your passions in that sense, that's an okay thing. Our culture, and the church even, needs to recognize that it's an okay thing.

So, the person who marries does well, and the person who does not marry does even better. Again, Paul seems to be in a position to say that while we are endorsing singleness here, we must remember the context in which he is writing. He is addressing a certain church at a certain time, dealing with specific problems and issues, and the pressures of the day. For Paul, the choice between marriage and singleness was not a choice between good or bad, but between better and best. Because of the present circumstances, he regarded singleness as best.

In this passage, we see the preoccupations of marriage and the passions that must be considered.

Controlled for someone to remain single, verses 39 and 40 address the permanence of marriage. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives. But if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to marry whom she will, only in the Lord. However, she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment. I also believe that I have the spirit of God.

God's design for marriage is that a male and a female would be bound together in marriage as long as they both shall live. They are inseparably bound until the death of one. At that point, the one who is left—Paul is speaking to a widowed woman here in this passage—has the liberty to get married again to whoever she desires, although he specifies that she must marry a believer. She is free to choose whom she may marry again if she desires to remarry, but she must marry a believer.

You may think that a person who has been married and is now widowed would not need to be told to marry a believer. That is the kind of advice we give to kids in the youth group: when you get ready to get married, make sure you marry a believer and are equally yoked. Yet Paul addresses the widow, someone who perhaps has a little age and experience and has been married before. He advises her that if she gets married again, she should ensure that she is equally yoked.

Why does Paul have to say that? A great many widowed believers fail to recognize this important truth when they look to get married again. They are feeling the pain of loss, grieving the loss of companionship, and desiring companionship once more. There have been some, if not many, who have made poor decisions in this regard and have married quickly someone who is not a believer. Thus, Paul emphasizes that they are free to marry, but they must marry a believer.

The statistics on this are rather interesting. In our nation, 61 percent of males who are widowed remarry within 25 months of the death of their spouse, while only 19 percent of women do the same. That is an interesting statistic. Paul states in verse 40, and this is noteworthy.

The widow is happier if they remain single. "Happier" may not have been the word that crossed your mind when thinking about someone who has been widowed. What in the world is Paul talking about? Well, the same word translated as "happier" is translated 44 times in the rest of the New Testament as "blessed." It is only translated as "happier" in this one passage. Therefore, we could say that an individual is blessed if they so abide. This is Paul's judgment; he says this is what he sees in the situation.

Likely speaking from experience, some people believe that Paul himself was widowed, but we don't know for sure. What is Paul saying? I have not experienced, nor do I ever want to experience, the grief of losing my spouse. I don't think anybody here desires that. If you do, you probably need some counseling. I don't know that anyone would really have the desire to lose their spouse, and it would be a terrible thing to endure.

Initially, in that very difficult situation, the widowed individual has a hard time envisioning a day when they will be happy. But Paul says very clearly that day will come. He recognizes that it is important to see that there is a blessing that yet remains. Certainly, there are internal pressures for the desire of companionship upon the person who has lost their spouse.

One of the applications of what Paul is saying in this passage, what he is teaching, is that the widow should move very slowly when it comes to getting remarried or seeking an earthly relationship after the death of their spouse. They ought to take the time to consider that perhaps the Lord desires to use their singleness in these latter years to be a blessing to Him and His kingdom.

This would be a very good application: take time if you're in that situation. Recognize that God may be calling you to use the time you have because the time is short and the fashion of this world is passing away. Use it as a time to be undistracted in your service to the Lord.

It all boils down to this: singles need to know that there is a blessing in singleness, even though our culture doesn't acknowledge it.

There is a blessing in singleness, and the church needs to recognize this as well. We should not look at someone who is single and feel pity for them, thinking, "Oh, I feel so bad for you. You don't have anybody in your life." That is not the case. There is a blessing in their life, just as there is a blessing in marriage. Unfortunately, we have carried into our own minds the same misconception that ancient Jews held: that singleness is a curse. This is not necessarily true.

If you are single today—whether because you have never been married, you have been widowed, or you have gone through the difficulty of divorce—consider that God may desire to utilize your life in a way that you have never quite understood before. He may extend to you a blessing that you do not yet recognize. There is indeed a blessing in singleness, so continue to serve the Lord unhindered, undistracted, and unencumbered until He comes. Amen.

Let us stand and pray. Father, I thank You for the clarity of the truth of Your Word. Lord, help us to take these things to heart as we prepare to go today. We recognize that Your Word is good, Your Word is true, and these things were written for our profit. They were not written to bind us up or restrict us, but rather that we would more fully enjoy the abundant life that You desire for us.

For those who are married in our fellowship, God, I pray that You would bless them with blessings. I ask that You would give them strength in their troubles and in the discouraging moments, as well as in the distractions. Help them to recognize the blessing they have, for he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and children are a heritage from You.

We also pray for those who are single in our church today. I ask, Lord, that You would minister to their hearts with this truth: that You can meet their deepest needs for companionship. You have a much larger plan in view than perhaps they have seen before.

And to recognize, Lord, that you are calling them to a greater level of service than they have ever experienced. I thank you, Lord, for the examples that we have seen over the years, even from within our own church, of those who are singly and wholeheartedly devoted to you.

Even today, as we had the opportunity to have Christina come in and share with us, she prepares to go out on the mission field as a single adult, content in you. We praise you and thank you in Jesus' name. Amen.