Connect With One Another | Sunday, January 23, 2022

It is not good that man should be alone. (Genesis 2:18)

Then the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden... And the LORD God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an helper comparable to him... And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh... Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:15–24)

What two years of social distancing proved: we were never made to be alone—we were created for connection.

Social Distancing and the Need We Discovered

Very early in this whole thing called COVID, we learned a new term: social distancing. We were told it was needed to slow the spread and flatten the curve. Soon we started seeing those stickers on the ground in retail spaces, telling us to maintain six feet of separation. Two years later, those stickers are still around—peeling and fading—and you still see people avoiding close contact.

What have we learned? Looking at this from a Christian perspective, with the eyes of Scripture, I think the social-distancing experiment has reminded me once again of a fundamental fact: we were created for connection.

When society shut down in March of 2020, our church—like nearly every church in our area—went to online services and remote work. We all learned Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Google Meet. In a matter of days, we were isolated by social distancing.

What I Learned About Myself

In those early days, I discovered something about myself. I'm not as much of an introvert as I had assumed. Some of you think, "Miles, you get up in front of people"—but that's different from genuine interaction. I assumed I was one of those people who could spend most of my time alone, locked away in my office, working without much interaction with others.

But very quickly I found I was sick of social distancing and was desiring connection. About every day by two o'clock in the afternoon, I would feel like I needed to call or text or FaceTime somebody to have some kind of face-to-face human interaction. And as nice as those technological interactions were, they did not meet the need we have for genuine, authentic connection.

It isn't just that we want connection—we actually need it. We do not do well in isolation. We cannot thrive alone. Isolation can lead to all kinds of mental, emotional, and even physical dysfunctions, because we were created for connection.

The First Negative in Scripture

The social-distancing experiment only confirms what the Bible says in Genesis 2:18: "It is not good that man should be alone." Read the opening of the Bible and you'll see those words are the first negative found in Scripture. In Genesis 1, seven times we read, "And God saw that it was good." The seventh time, Genesis 1:31 says, "Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good."

Everything was just as God intended it to be. Then we come to Genesis 2, a restatement of the creation account from a slightly different perspective—Genesis 1 is a quick sketch, Genesis 2 colors in the lines. And there God says, "It is not good that man should be alone." God made us as individuals to be joined together in relationship.

What Modern Psychology Confirms

Our study of the human psyche has only proven what God's Word revealed thousands of years ago. Abraham Maslow's famous Hierarchy of Needs puts the need for love and belonging right in the middle of the five-layer pyramid. Humans will not thrive—and may not survive—without love and belonging. You need connection like you need food and shelter. It has to do with our very nature.

A few years ago I read a study on human connection from researchers at the University of Chicago's Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience. They wrote: "Humans were not designed to be solitary creatures. We evolved to survive in tribes. The need to interact is deeply ingrained in our genetic code, so much so that the absence of social connection triggers the same primal alarm bells as hunger, thirst, and physical pain." I don't believe this is the result of random chance and evolution—I believe God made us this way. The need for connection is hardwired into our firmware.

The Metaverse and the Limits of Virtual Connection

The virtual connections we are throwing hundreds of billions of dollars at won't ultimately meet our deep need. At the end of last year, Facebook became Meta, and Mark Zuckerberg announced the aim of carrying us into the metaverse. Facebook isn't the only company doing this. The metaverse is intended to be a three-dimensional virtual world focused on social connection—where you would meet people wherever they are physically, in a virtual space. In essence, you can be physically distanced but socially connected.

Right now it looks kind of cheesy, almost like the early days of the internet—dial-up AOL, "You've got mail." But who knows what it will look like in a few years. You can be sure there will be a "meta church" in no time. The question is: will that physically distanced social connection meet the human need for relationship? I'm not convinced it will. We've seen in the last 24 months that months of Zoom and FaceTime and text messages don't meet that need.

Don't get me wrong—we at Cross Connection will use every tool we can to reach people with the gospel. Each week hundreds of people connect with us virtually. But our online services are not meant to replace genuine human connection, because it is not good that man should be alone.

We Want What We Need

Jesus said the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, "but I have come that you may have life, and that more abundantly." That abundant life involves connection—first vertically with God, then horizontally with one another. You cannot experience the abundant life without it.

If you've been at Cross Connection for any length of time, you've heard us say we are all about life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus. We say it over and over because it's important—it's what all of us desperately need. And here's what fascinates me: life in connection is attractive. It draws people in because we want what we need.

That's not revolutionary. You need food, so you want food. You need air, so you want to breathe. You need sleep, so you want sleep. The people you interact with every day want connection because they need it; God created them for it. And we want the best of whatever we need. I need food to live, but if I can get it, I want a really good steak. We want fresh air, a good night's sleep on a comfortable bed.

So social media, Zoom, Teams, the coming metaverse—they will provide a sense of connection, even an adequate or "good-ish" connection. The connections you make through school, work, sports, or recreation are good too. But there is a level of connection that is only ultimately found in the abundant, life-giving connection that is in Christ—with God and with one another. That's what we aim for at Cross Connection Church.

Vulnerability Without Shame

Back in Genesis 2, God's aim in creating humans was that they would be joined together as one. This deep connection is most clearly expressed in marriage, but it isn't only a marital reality—you don't have to be married to have deep, authentic connection with someone.

Genesis 2:25 says, "And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Look beyond the physical to understand it. This isn't fundamentally sexual; it's that our first ancestors were in a oneness relationship—totally vulnerable, and not ashamed. Even in a superb marriage today, it's highly unlikely you have this kind of oneness, where you are completely vulnerable and exposed with zero shame. You may want it—I'd say you probably do—but even the word "vulnerable" sounds scary. Look it up in a thesaurus and you find synonyms like "in danger," "in peril," "at risk," "unsafe."

But what if you could be completely vulnerable with someone and have no fear? No fear they would take advantage of you or use it against you. Such safety that you'd be utterly unashamed even if they knew the absolute worst about you. That's exactly what Adam and Eve had before Genesis 3—total vulnerability, body, soul, and spirit, without any shame. And there's something in us that desires that, because they had it. We don't have it—and we don't have it because of sin.

Sin Destroyed the Oneness

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food... she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. (Genesis 3:6–7)

When sin entered in, Adam and Eve's eyes were opened. They saw their nakedness, felt their vulnerability, and were ashamed—and so they covered it up. They now had the knowledge of good and evil, an understanding of their own failures and wickedness. They had total vulnerability without shame, and they lost it.

You and I do not have what they had before the fall. We have the brokenness of sin, so it's hard to be vulnerable even with the person closest to us. Sin destroys the oneness God intends. It did at the beginning, and it still does today—when sin comes into a relationship, it breaks apart that connection. So if we want to restore oneness, the one thing we have to deal with is sin. And sin is only dealt with by Jesus Christ.

Jesus Restores Oneness on the Cross

Where did Jesus deal with sin? On the cross. Paul boils the gospel down in 1 Corinthians 15:3: "Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures." And the night before Jesus died, after the Lord's Supper, He prayed His high priestly prayer in John 17.

I pray... for them also which shall believe on me through their word; that they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me... that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me. (John 17:20–23)

Two thousand years ago, Jesus was praying for you and me. He destroyed sin on the cross to restore the oneness that was lost in Genesis 3. Notice He says twice that "the world may believe" and "the world may know." When Jesus restores oneness among His people, it becomes a proof of who He is and where He came from.

Paul speaks of this same restoration in Ephesians 2.

For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us... for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; and that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross... For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God. (Ephesians 2:14–19)

He reconciles us to God and to one another through the cross.

Life in Connection

On our website you'll find our vision: life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus. "Life" means that abundant life of John 10:10. What makes it abundant is the restoration of connection with God and with one another—a oneness relationship that is the very thing we deeply desire and need. In the future, in His kingdom, we will have this connection in fullness; but right now it is life in connection with God and one another, and our aim is to take that good news to the world.

We experience life in connection with God and one another within His body, the church. So the pragmatic question is: what does that look like practically?

The Practicalities, Part One: Trust in Christ

First, you must trust in Christ for salvation. It is through Jesus' completed work on the cross—Ephesians 2:14 and following—that we are reconciled to God and one another. The sin that brought disconnection and division between God and humanity is restored only through Jesus and what He did on the cross. If you want to experience life in connection, it's found only there, in trusting His finished work.

The Practicalities, Part Two: Become an Engaged Participant

Second, you must become an engaged participant within Christ's body, the church. A few weeks ago someone asked me why our church doesn't have a Christmas Day service—suggesting it would minister to lonely people without family. (Side note: Christmas falls on a Sunday in 2022, so we will have one.) I understand that concern, but here is my answer: become an engaged participant within Christ's body, get plugged into the community of the church, and you'll discover a deep and authentic connection to a new family—which in many ways becomes stronger than the ties you have with your human family.

That participant is engaged in regular corporate worship. As good as online broadcasting is, gathering together matters. I understand many are still fearful, and it's my prayer that as this Omicron season eases, you'll gather with us on a Sunday morning—or come check out this church for the first time.

When we gather, we worship in the Word. Studying the Scriptures together is worship; God reveals His character through the pages of Scripture and inspires our hearts to adore Him. We also worship through singing together. For most people, the only place you engage in corporate singing is within a church. Scripture exhorts Christians to sing together, even if they don't have a great voice—"make a joyful noise to the LORD."

I recently read a fascinating research article from Cal Berkeley—not exactly a high seminary—on how corporate singing binds people together so that they experience a synchronization of body and mind. It's funny how scientific research validates what the Bible prescribed thousands of years ago. The psalmist said three thousand years ago to sing to the Lord a new song and make a joyful noise. We're also united as we give our tithes and offerings—another form of worship. All these things help us connect with God and one another.

Connecting in Community

We live life in connection when we engage as participants in the family of God, and primarily at a deep level when we connect with one another in community. The main way we do this is through our Connect Groups. We have people connecting in prayer groups, on serving teams, and in community outreach.

It's in those groups that we express what we call the "one anothers" of the Bible. Type "one another" into a search bar and you'll find more than fifty passages: love one another, pray for one another, care for one another, comfort one another, bear one another's burdens, be devoted to one another, honor one another. As you endeavor to fulfill the "one anothers" and participate in the body of the church, you begin to experience authentic connection in Christ with God and one another. I promise you, you will not feel isolated or disconnected.

The Sweetness of Connection

At the height of the COVID chaos in 2020, when we were still only doing services online, we encouraged our church—especially those in Connect Groups—to host Sunday morning watch parties in their homes. The service went live at nine, and you'd watch it together and share a meal. My wife and I host a Connect Group, so we invited them over.

It became one of the sweetest times of fellowship. This won't come across right—I absolutely love gathering with the church on Sunday mornings; it's one of my highlights in life—but I found there was a sweetness to that connection that I almost enjoyed more. That's my hope for you and for our church: to experience that life in connection with one another.

I've found that those who did best through the last 24 months—the most spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally healthy—were those connected to community within the church. My hope for 2022 and beyond is that we would more fully embrace life in connection with one another, and share it with others. Because that's what the people we interact with daily, who aren't part of a church, deeply want. They need it. And when the people of God live in community, others see it and say, "I want that kind of relationship."

Closing Prayer

Father God, I pray that You would do a work in each of us, bringing us to a place where we desire to be connected to one another—even becoming a little vulnerable, setting aside our fears, anxieties, and embarrassments, and plugging in. Help us this year to increase and grow our Connect Groups, that we would have more groups for people to join and more people joining them. Lord, may we be living life in connection with You and one another in authentic, Christ-centered community and relationship. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.