Life In Connection With One Another

The thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that you may have life and that you may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)

We are the most connected generation in history—yet the loneliest. Jesus came to restore the connection sin destroyed.

The Loneliness of a Connected Age

In a June 2016 interview, the Surgeon General of the United States said this: our greatest public health crisis isn't cancer or heart disease, it is isolation—and the effects of being socially isolated. That's a powerful statement. After reviewing data from the National Institutes of Health, the CDC, and every measure of medical and welfare outcomes in our nation, he concludes that the greatest health crisis we face is isolation.

And yet I think you'd agree we are the most connected people in all of human history. From a technological and practical standpoint, that is certainly true. At almost any time, from virtually any place, you and I can instantly connect with almost any person. In 2010 I was in Mozambique, about a hundred miles from real civilization, preaching through a translator in a grass-hut church powered by solar panels—and in the middle of my message I was interrupted by a cell phone ringing. No different than being interrupted at our own church.

Even people who don't know us can connect with us. This past Monday, while picking up two of my kids from preschool, I was notified of a message from a person I've never met. They didn't have my phone number or email, but they found me on Twitter as @PastorMiles and sent me a message. Instantly connected with a stranger. About the only place we're not connected is in the shower or the pool—and Samsung and others are working on waterproof devices to fix even that.

This has become as normal to us as brushing our teeth. For many of you, the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night is check your device. Some of you are shaking your head, "Not me." If so, I'd bet two things: you're over 40, and your kids or grandkids are like that. And it's only going to increase—watches, voice assistants like Siri sending texts on command. Instantly connected with anyone, anytime, anyplace.

Connected, Yet More Divided

The iPhone turns ten this year and has completely transformed society. We've all had the experience of looking up in a room full of family to see a dozen glowing faces, no one talking. I saw it at the San Francisco airport last year—200 people, virtually every one staring at a device. In the youth ministry you'll see kids sitting together texting and laughing with each other rather than talking.

Facebook turns thirteen on February 4th. There are now 1.79 billion people connected through it—if Facebook were a nation, it would be the largest on earth. Sixty percent of American adults are on Facebook; 160 million Americans check it weekly, spending an average of 39 minutes a day. Gallup and others found Facebook has become the number one news source for Americans, which means you mostly see news liked and promoted by people you already agree with—reinforcing your own perspective. You can instantly reach out and touch someone on another continent, with no lag at all.

And yet the Surgeon General says our number one health crisis is social isolation, and it's on the rise. A growing percentage of Americans report being lonely. The amazing thing is that social media doesn't reduce isolation—it increases it. The American Psychological Society now recognizes "Facebook depression": people post only their best moments, so everyone else's life looks awesome while yours doesn't. And when you post and get no likes or comments, you sink lower. Two weeks ago a 12-year-old girl hanged herself live on Facebook—I guarantee she was suffering social isolation, and social media did not fix it.

Twenty percent of Americans suffer from what is called chronic loneliness, which is associated with significantly greater risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke, and even a more rapid progression of Alzheimer's. A 2010 National Institutes of Health study found that, regardless of age or gender, stronger social connections increase the likelihood of health and thriving, while decreased connectedness contributes to loss of mental and physical health. Science and medicine keep confirming it. You cannot and will not experience an abundant life without connection.

Designed, Not Evolved

I recently read an article from a scientific journal that began: "Humans were not designed to be solitary creatures. We evolved to survive in tribes. The need to interact is deeply ingrained into our genetic code—so much so that the absence of social connections triggers the primal alarm bells as does hunger, thirst, and physical pain." I agree with the conclusion, but notice the conflicting worldview: the first sentence says we were designed; the second says we evolved. So which is it?

I believe the former. We were created for connection. God said, "It is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). In the beginning God created Adam, declared his aloneness "not good," and made a comparable helper in woman, so the two would become one flesh. Then He commanded them, "Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:22, 28). Why? Because it is not good for man to be alone.

We were created to live life in connection with one another. God never intended us to live independently. This is by design—not evolution, not social construction. Independence and isolation bring death; they reduce human thriving and add to the loss of mental and physical health. In scientific terms, being disconnected is "non-optimal." What God has said for thousands of years, science and medicine confirm over and over: it is not good for man to be alone.

A Harvard professor wrote a book in 2004 called Bowling Alone about the rise of social isolation. His writing was almost prophetic, written at the very same university where Facebook was being developed. He identified the problems of disconnection, and now, thirteen years later, what we thought would bring us together has only deepened our isolation.

Where Did the Loneliness Come From?

If God designed us for connection, why is isolation rising even as humanity multiplies to 7.4 billion? You'd think more people would mean more connection, yet we are more divided and isolated than ever. Among cultural elites in the West there's even a push to decrease population—the opposite of God's command. In Western Europe—France, the Netherlands, Denmark and others—birth rates have long fallen below the replacement rate of 2.1 children per family, which is why there's been such a push for open immigration to fuel the population.

Now Europe wrestles with how to absorb that immigration, and no one has a good answer—except this: they need the gospel; they need Jesus. But at the same time as the push for fewer people, there's been a warring against God. In Scotland, where the English Bible came from, less than 2% are now evangelized—they're considered an unreached people group. Get rid of God, decrease people, and the problems of isolation multiply.

The answer is in Genesis 3. Humanity rebelled against God's command, sin entered the world, and from sin came death. God had said, "The day you eat of it you will surely die." When they ate, they did not immediately keel over, but a death was experienced instantly: they saw they were naked and made coverings. There was a separation of oneness, a shame, a death of connection. Thousands of years later we still experience that death because sin destroys connection.

The Universal Longing to Belong

Sin still destroys relationship and community. Every person here has felt it—a brother, sister, parent, or cousin you no longer have any connection with because of bitterness, anger, or sin at the root. When you dig deep, the roots are sin, and sin always separates, always alienates, and always results in death in some form. We live this side of Genesis 3 in a world of broken relationships and division, sometimes amplified, as the rhetoric of this past year amplified it in our nation.

And yet resident in every human being—church-goer or not—is a desire for deep relationship and oneness. Everybody wants to belong. Most of you can still remember being isolated from a group in elementary school or junior high and the pain it caused. I've watched my own children come home with tears after being shut out of a neighborhood group. We've all been there.

It shows up early. My three-year-old has no problem entertaining himself with his cars for hours—but he does not want to be in a room by himself. He'll bring his cars and sit five feet from me without saying a word, but if I leave the room, he wants to know where I'm going. He wants to be near somebody. Is that just evolution? God created us that way, and we long for it.

Some object, "I don't like crowds; I'm an introvert." The majority of people identify as introverts and feel some social anxiety in large groups or with new people. But even introverts don't want to be alone. Nobody truly wants to be alone unless some rift or brokenness has made them afraid of the group. We desire oneness; sin hinders it. And this is exactly what Jesus came to deal with.

Jesus Came to Deal with Sin and Death

Jesus came to deal with sin, death, and the effects of death. He came to seek and save the lost, to find the isolated one and bring them back in. How did He deal with sin? On the cross—dying in our place to take its punishment, penalty, and effects. How did He deal with death? He died and conquered death by rising again, so He can say, "O death, where is thy sting?" The sting of death is sin, and He dealt with it. That is great news.

The night before He died, Jesus prayed to the Father in heaven. Some struggle: if Jesus is God, why does He pray to God the Father? The answer is in the prayer itself, John 17—the high priestly prayer—prayed between the upper room and the garden of Gethsemane, with His eleven remaining disciples after Judas had gone.

Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world... Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are. (John 17:11)

How does that work—the Son praying to the Father, both being God? This is the doctrine of the triune nature of God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three persons, one God, total unity, the perfection of oneness. The very thing we desire at the deepest level exists perfectly in the Godhead.

He Prayed for You

I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word, that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. (John 17:20–21)

Jesus prayed for you and me 2,000 years ago, that we would be united as one in Him—connected to God and to one another through Jesus. And notice why: "that the world may believe that You sent Me." This oneness is evangelistic. It's the very good news the world longs for at the deepest level. People long to be connected to the divine and to one another, and when they see that oneness actually worked out, it's attractive; it draws them.

The glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me, that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me. (John 17:22–23)

Jesus destroyed sin to restore connection. Sin brought the destruction of connection; Jesus destroyed sin to restore it.

Reconciled in One Body

How does He make this happen? The answer is in Ephesians 2:

For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation... so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. (Ephesians 2:14–16)

Jesus came in His own body to deal with war, sin, and death on the cross, and through His death He reconciles warring parties back together to God in one body. What is that one body? The church—the body of Christ. That is where this oneness is experienced and expressed on earth. Because of our fallenness we see division among churches, but within the local body it's amazing what God does in bringing people together. Look at the diversity reflected in this room and across the global church. The gospel and the church are supracultural—they move beyond every border and boundary of culture.

At the birth of the church in Acts 2, after Peter preached, those who gladly received the word were baptized—introduced into the body of Jesus—and about 3,000 souls were added that day.

And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers... Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common... So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42–47)

The church is God's plan for the restoration of connection. This is why our vision and mission is life in connection with God, one another, and the world through Jesus.

Life in Connection, Lived Out

This connection happens only in and through Jesus. You cannot have it apart from Him. All the efforts of politicians and nonprofits to break down racial and socioeconomic divides without Jesus will always be vain and yield small dividends. Only in Christ is this abundant life of connection found—and this is what people long for at the deepest level.

How does it happen for us? In part through our corporate gathering, like the early church meeting daily in the temple—worshiping God, connecting through prayer, worship, and His word, growing together. But ninety minutes on a Sunday is not sufficient. That's why at Cross Connection we've established connect groups. They've been very fruitful, but about 80% of our church are not involved—which means you may not be experiencing life in connection the way God desires. I'm convinced that without that connection, you won't experience it. And we want you to.

What is a connect group? It's a gathering outside of church, just like the early church breaking bread from house to house—simply having meals together. It may sound trivial, but God has built something into sharing a meal that unites us as one. Even secular voices push for families to eat dinner together because of the oneness it generates. Every other week, our groups gather in homes, each person bringing something to share, like the early church's agape feast—a love feast. There's no Bible study; we simply gather to be with one another.

My family has been part of one—it happens to meet at my parents' house—and now every time we get in the car my kids ask, "Are we going to connect group?" There are nights after a long day when I'm not sure I want to load four small kids in the car, but my own children insist, "We have to go to connect group." Even the littlest one loves that connection with the people of the church. It's life-giving.

Get Connected

If you're not plugged into a connect group, you need to be. Go to the connection point afterward and we'll help you, or go to our website—lifeinconnection.com/groups—and click "join." You'll be connected with a host who will welcome you in.

Maybe you're someone with a heart for people, willing to open your home, serve your guests, and talk of Jesus—H-O-S-T. You could host a connect group. Let us know at the connection point and we'll be in touch this week. And here's the beautiful part: you can invite your neighbors and friends who don't yet know Jesus. They notice the cars out front every couple of weeks, they come over, and they discover Christians aren't quite as weird as they thought. We're still peculiar—the Bible calls us a peculiar people—but it's evangelistic, because people want connection, and Jesus came to restore it. That's good news.

Closing Prayer

Father, I pray—because I know there are people here to whom this sounds good, who come faithfully but have never plugged in. Draw them by Your Spirit to grow in connection with You and with one another within Your body. Draw them out to be part of a connect group. And there are some here who have a heart for people, a home they're willing to open, and the gift of hospitality, who already talk about You—Lord, You're calling them to be a connect group host. Help them take that step and say, "I might be interested in that." Lord, You want us to live as Your people in life-giving, life-satisfying abundance of connection. Make that a reality for us. We pray this in Jesus' name, amen.