Unchained 2 – The Audacious Ask

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, to Philemon our beloved friend and fellow laborer, to the beloved Apphia, Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ... I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains, who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me. I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart... no longer as a slave but more than a slave—a beloved brother. (Philemon 1)

When the forgiven sinner refuses to forgive, he forgets the immeasurable debt that was wiped clean for him.

A Debt That Could Not Be Paid

It was still dark, and he knew the sun wouldn't be up for an hour or more. The day he had long dreaded was now upon him. Over the last 72 hours he had reasoned through every possible option, and none of them had a workable solution. The venture he had been certain would produce so much, the one he had convinced others was a sure bet, simply didn't come about. The debt was now insurmountable.

He walked the few blocks to the office, his legs heavier than normal, the nagging thought returning: what's going to happen to my wife? What will happen to my kids? Sitting in the waiting room with eight others, he cracked his knuckles and shook his leg. Nobody said a word. When the door opened, the attendant's eyes met his with a brief nod. This is it.

Inside, the accountant read out the figures: "Account 274, the outstanding balance is $7.4 million. We've adjusted the terms before—this is the fourth time—but we're calling the loan. Do you have the payment?" From across the table came the master's voice: "Do you have my money? You told me this was a sure bet." He did not.

"I Pardon You"

Turning to his accountant, the master said, "He is to be sold. His wife, his sons, they are to be sold as well." The man's knees buckled. He fell to the floor weeping: "Master, please, I beg you, have mercy on me. I will pay everything I can." Something in the tone of the man's voice struck a chord in the creditor's heart. A tear came to his own eye, and before he could even register what he was saying, the words came out: "I pardon you. Erase the debt. I forgive it. You're free to go."

This brings us to our first point: the act of forgiveness is an act of pure grace. It is not earned. It is not deserved. It is given.

Philemon, Onesimus, and Paul

There was a wealthy man some 2,000 years ago who lived in an ancient city called Colossae, on the Lycus River in what is now Turkey—then Asia Minor, in the region of Phrygia. We don't know how he gained his wealth, but it likely came through mercantile trade. Business probably brought Philemon about a hundred miles west to the great city of Ephesus on the Aegean Sea.

It was most likely there, around AD 55 or 56, that Philemon came into contact with a former Jewish religious lawyer named Paul, a man whose life had been radically transformed by meeting Jesus, who had been crucified, buried, and raised from the dead. Maybe it was in the marketplace, where Paul plied his trade repairing tents and shared the gospel with everyone he met. Or maybe it was in the school of Tyrannus, where Acts 19 tells us Paul taught daily for two years. However it happened, Philemon heard the gospel of grace, received the forgiveness of God, and was transformed.

He returned to Colossae and began meeting with others who had put their faith in Christ—a church in his house, with his wife Apphia and his son Archippus, a leader there. Being wealthy, Philemon had slaves. One of them, a man named Onesimus, decided he no longer wanted to be there. Desiring his freedom, he ran—and on his way he stole from his master, fleeing a thousand miles west to Rome, hoping to start a new life as a free man.

The Right Thing to Do

In Rome, Onesimus ran into the same man Philemon had met years before: Paul. By now Paul was no longer in the open marketplace but detained under house arrest, accused of sedition though he was simply a preacher of the gospel. By God's sovereign direction, Onesimus came to sit before this apostle, and Paul shared the gospel. Onesimus's heart began to warm, and he too put his faith in the risen Lord Jesus Christ.

As their friendship grew, Paul finally said, "Onesimus, it's awesome that you've put your faith in Christ, but it's time to do the right thing—to go back to Philemon." Onesimus protested: "Paul, you don't understand. The severest consequence awaits me. He has the authority to kill me." Paul replied, "I know Philemon. He's a good man, changed by the gospel. But you need to do the right thing, whatever the outcome, because you're a Christian now. The grace you've received—this is the response."

That brings us to our second point: saving grace and forgiveness do not release us from repentance. God graciously forgives sinners like you and me, releasing us from the tyranny of death and slavery to sin. But that goodness of God should lead us to repentance. Paul wrote in Romans 2:4 that the goodness and forbearance of God leads us to repentance. Repentance is an inner change that transforms the outward—a change in the heart that changes how you act.

So Paul said, "Onesimus, I'm not going to leave you empty-handed. I'll write you a letter to take to Philemon on your behalf." That letter is the book we are studying.

Paul Appeals Rather Than Commands

Picking up in verse 8, Paul writes, "Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting..." Philemon is a good man; his love toward God and His people is evident; he has refreshed the hearts of the saints. Because of that, Paul chooses to appeal rather than command. He has apostolic authority—he could say, "This is what you will do by the authority God gave me." But he refuses.

This is our third point: forgiveness is the right response of the forgiven sinner. It is fitting for forgiven sinners to forgive sinners. It is right for those who have received grace to be gracious to others. In fact, it is an indication that you have actually received the forgiving grace of God.

Paul wrote at the very same time, in Ephesians 4:31–32:

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

The Struggle to Forgive

This is not to say forgiveness is easy. The struggle is real. If you've been a Christian, you've experienced how difficult, costly, and sacrificial it is to forgive. Every one of us has been wronged by someone. The mere utterance of that person's name brings it back to the surface. You're at the checkout stand and you spot them across the room, and you feel it—bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor. And evil speaking: someone mentions their name and you can't help but relay what they did, what they said.

Paul says let all that go, and in its place be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you. You may say, "I understand that Jesus forgave me, but I can't forgive that person. You don't know what they did. It's too costly." But remember: God sacrificed to forgive you. The cost was immeasurable—someone had to die for your forgiveness. So when you say it's too hard, remember the words: forgive as God in Christ has forgiven you.

When Philemon opened the door and saw Onesimus standing there with a letter from Paul, forgiveness was surely not his first thought. And no doubt friends in his circle would say, "Philemon, you can't do this. He stole from you and ran. Your other servants will walk all over you." There are always people who will justify our unforgiveness. But it is fitting for forgiven sinners to forgive sinners.

My Son Onesimus

"Yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you, being such a one as Paul, the aged and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ. I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains." As far as we can tell, Paul never had biological children. Yet he considered those who came to faith through his preaching to be his spiritual sons and daughters. Onesimus, he says, is my son, come to faith just as you did, Philemon. And like any loving father with a wayward son who returns, Paul goes out on his behalf.

"He who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me." Onesimus was once useless—an understatement. He had run away and stolen, two crimes punishable by death. But now he is profitable to both.

This is our fourth point: forgiving grace makes us better than we were. When we receive the forgiving grace of God, it should make us gracious and forgiving. Man, created in God's image, has all kinds of talents and abilities, but he does not reach his fullest potential until he receives the forgiving grace of God. God created every one of the 7.3 billion people on this planet to bring glory to Him through their gifts and lives—and you cannot do that until you receive His grace. So the gospel makes us more profitable to the King and His kingdom, more glorious and useful to God.

Receive Him as a Brother

"I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart." Paul's desire is that Philemon receive Onesimus not as a slave, criminal, or servant, but as a brother. This reminds us of the story Jesus told of the prodigal son—the young man who demanded his inheritance, squandered it, and came to his senses, returning to a father who watched the horizon every day. The father ran to him, put a robe on his shoulders and a ring on his finger, and welcomed him home.

But that's not the whole story, because the prodigal had a brother who didn't squander anything, a faithful son who came in from the fields, heard the celebration, and grew angry and indignant. Here we have a father and two spiritual sons—one who failed and fell short, and one who did the right thing. Paul says, "I want you to receive him. That's my heart. I'm not going to command you. I want you to want to do the right thing." Have you ever said that to your kids? "I want you to want to do the right thing." Onesimus has come back because it is right; Philemon, do the right thing too.

Ministry by Proxy and Voluntary Goodness

"Onesimus, whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by compulsion, but as it were voluntarily." There is an interesting principle here—ministry by proxy. By supporting the minister, you support the ministry; many people's ministry is to support the minister so the ministry can go forward.

Paul knew that if he had simply said, "I'm keeping Onesimus to serve me," Philemon would have agreed—but out of obligation, unable to say no to the apostle. So Paul sent Onesimus back. He wanted nothing by compulsion. Yet forgiveness once received should compel our forgiveness of others.

Eternal Outcomes Over Temporal

"For perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave—a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord." Someone might object: Onesimus made a free-will decision to steal and run, and you're saying that falls under the sovereignty of God? Paul doesn't explain the mechanics. He simply says, "Perhaps." Can a wrong action ultimately bring about a good outcome? Perhaps. Many of us in a scientific, modernist mindset struggle with the tension between free will and God's sovereignty. Paul didn't. He just said, "Perhaps. I'm good with that."

This is our fifth point: eternal outcomes are more important than temporal. This is hard to grasp because, before you become a follower of Jesus, there are only temporal outcomes. Everything is about this life—what you can acquire or attain. For the person who hasn't met Jesus, this life is all there is. But when you become a Christian, a revolutionary change takes place: you realize this life is not all there is. There is an eternity that lasts far longer, and now what you do in this life is changed.

I've talked with many brothers and sisters who went through devastating temporal things—a diagnosis, a pink slip, a collapse—that showed them this life is failing and falling apart. There they reached out for something more, found it, and ended up in a seat like this, realizing this life is not all there is. The New Testament describes rewards and responsibilities in eternity—crowns. We don't know every detail, but decisions made in this temporal life affect that eternal life.

So Paul could say, Philemon, think about eternity. The temporal difficulty of granting forgiveness is far surpassed by the eternal blessing of doing so. At the same time, Paul wrote to the Colossian church—where Philemon attended—"Set your mind on things above, not on the things of the earth, where Christ is." It is hard for us to make that transition, because everything in this life tells us it's all about today. But there is more than this.

Is There Someone You Need to Forgive?

Has the pure grace of God's forgiveness affected you so deeply that the eternal realities of what God says now direct you, more than what others will think? Has His saving grace made you more gracious and forgiving toward others? Let's bring it home: is there someone you need to forgive? For some of you, a name or a face just came to mind, along with the struggle: if I do this, what will people think?

In Jesus's day, the rabbis taught you only had to forgive someone three times. So Peter, talking with Jesus about forgiveness in Matthew 18, asked, "Should I forgive my brother up to seven times?"—expecting commendation. Jesus answered, "I say not seven, but seventy times seven." Forgive and forgive and forgive.

Then Jesus told a story—the same one I told at the beginning. A master called his servants to settle accounts, and one was brought before him owing 10,000 denarii, 10,000 days' wages, millions of dollars. He couldn't pay. The master ordered him, his wife, and his children sold, but the man fell down crying for mercy, and the master forgave him. Unfortunately, that's not the whole story—but to hear the rest, you'll have to come back next week.

Closing Prayer

Dear God, Your grace is good. We are completely undeserving of it. Every one of us has, or had, a debt we cannot pay—and Jesus, You paid it. You redeemed and ransomed us from the tyranny of death and the slavery to sin. You have wiped it clean and transformed our lives. May it transform us in a way that is evident to other people. We thank You for Your grace, we praise You for it, and we thank You for Your forgiveness. You have unchained us; now help us to be changed.

If you have not received the forgiving grace of God, it is a free gift. The Apostle Paul said Jesus Christ came into the world to forgive sinners, to pardon us, to set us free. If you would like to receive that gift this morning, pray this with me: Dear God, I know that I have failed. I know that my sin is great, and I cannot pay the debt. I thank You that You sent Jesus to die on the cross and pay it, and I pray that You would pardon my sin, make me new, and help me to walk in obedience to You. In Jesus' name. God is good.